How stupid can I be?

[deere755]

I have heard my buddy tell this story a hundred times before and today I heard him tell it again to someone new and I still laugh at it. He bought a brand new carhartt winter coat and headed off to the field wearing the new coat. This was several years ago when we used to moldboard plow all of our corn stalks. If any of you have done this you know that some days those stalks just would not go through the plow and all you got done was get off the tractor and clean out the plow. He was having one of those days and while cleaning out the plow he spotted something that needed fixed. He gets out a claw hammer and starts to pound on the plow hooks his new coat with claw part of the hammer and rips the sleeve of his new coat all to pieces. Now he is very mad and throws the hammer as hard as he can which hits the the rear tractor tire and bounces back at him and hits him in the knee. Now he really explodes and trows the hammer again this time the opposite direction thank God. At this point he realizes he still needs the hammer to fix the plow. His knee is swelling and hurting like H@#$ and his new coat is ripped and he is limping around trying to find the hammer in all those corn stalks all because he lost his temper. We all laughed at him telling this story today until we about cried. Trust me he does alot better job of telling it then I do.

 

[rox]

I enjoyed all the posts enormously. I can't think of anything to contribute though. Honestly each one was funnier than the next. The chaainsaw ones were pretty funny but I alos enjoyed all the ones about the PTO switces and really the motorcycle one wiht the run/stop button. Oh yeah the microwave one and the one with the cattle was also a good laugh. After reading the serious topics and learning so many interesting things it sure is fun to take a break and read a topic like this.

 

[Mike058]

We finally gave up and loaded it in the back of the pickup and got ready to take it back to the Harley shop, 40 miles away.
I went in the house to take a leak and I heard the bike fire up.
I ran out side and my brother was on the bike in the back of the pickup, blipping the throttle. I asked what he did.

"I flipped this little switch on the handle bars that says "RUN" and "STOP" to run."


As I said, that's "ONE" of the stupid things I've done in my life.

Another time...


Oh never mind.

Ever try to ride off with the kickstand down? Soon as you let the clutch out, the bike dies. You pull in the clutch, start it up, let the clutch out and it dies again. That's always good for a laugh, if it's happening to someone else.

 

[Sackett2]

A story I read in a magazine made me laugh. Shortened to get te point across
A city boy married a farm girl and they bought a small farm. they got a tractor, and he went out to mount the plow on it. Came in to report to the wife, i got it on, but it doesn't work right, it leave 3 grooves in the sod. So she came out to see what could be wrong. She looked at it and informed him, you have it installed upside down. As she went back in, he (embarrassed) reinstalled in correctly and went to see her. By this time she had already called her entire family to tell them and was working on the phone calls to his side.

 

[SailorBob]

The motor cycle one reminded of my momentary lapse of reason . I decided to go sailing one night. I get everything loaded up decided to fire up the motor. No go! no matter what I tried it would not go. So I gave up and went home finally. I went back to the boat the next evening and brought a marine mechanic with me. He fiddled around a few minutes and vroom vroom! This is really embarrassing but, I discovered that there was a safety device that you are supposed to attach to your belt that kills the engine if you fall out of the boat. I had never used it before and did not even know about it. The mechanic laughed about it and would not even charge me to go check it out. What a nice guy.

 

[shane]

I have heard my buddy tell this story a hundred times before and today I heard him tell it again to someone new and I still laugh at it. He bought a brand new carhartt winter coat and headed off to the field wearing the new coat. This was several years ago when we used to moldboard plow all of our corn stalks. If any of you have done this you know that some days those stalks just would not go through the plow and all you got done was get off the tractor and clean out the plow. He was having one of those days and while cleaning out the plow he spotted something that needed fixed. He gets out a claw hammer and starts to pound on the plow hooks his new coat with claw part of the hammer and rips the sleeve of his new coat all to pieces. Now he is very mad and throws the hammer as hard as he can which hits the the rear tractor tire and bounces back at him and hits him in the knee. Now he really explodes and trows the hammer again this time the opposite direction thank God. At this point he realizes he still needs the hammer to fix the plow. His knee is swelling and hurting like H@#$ and his new coat is ripped and he is limping around trying to find the hammer in all those corn stalks all because he lost his temper. We all laughed at him telling this story today until we about cried. Trust me he does alot better job of telling it then I do.

Reminds me. I got a nice new Carhartt coat last year for xmas. I was out one day on a jog and it was cold than a witches ______. The battery in my truck dies and I had to relpace it was not until some time later that I realized I had gotten battery acid on my new coat. That day does not bring back fond memories and yet my holey coat keeps reminding me.

 

[sld]

I once saw a saying that went something like this:

"Nobody is as stupid as all of us."

I have done my fair share.

- having a front weight drop off and running over it with the bush hog

- noticing the tractor gas cap is gone only to find it wedged next to the battery a week later

- how may times have you reassembled something only to find a "leftover" part

- backing the boat into the garage with the topper glass up so I could see will leave a million pieces of glass that I still find to this day 3 years later

- grounding 220 volts trying to wire my compressor was pretty bad

I could go on and on but after reading this thread at least I have company.

 

[John47]

I was removing woodscrews in a tight spot with a Makita cordless drill. To get more "purchase" I had my left thumb over the top. You guessed it! I pinned my thumb between the top of the drill and a cross member. God how it hurt, and to top it off, the forward/reverse switch is in the back of the drill where I couldn't get to it! I tried turning the chuck by hand, no go, tried and tried to get my aching thumb out, eventually after a few painful minutes, I extricated myself from the situation with a very sore thumb!

 

[EddieWalker]

This past weekend, I was removing some small trees and bringing them to my burn pile on my backhoe. I recently installed a grapple to do this, but I'm still pretty new to it.

After a few hours, the hydraulics got hard to operate. They still worked, but not freely. For about an hour, I kept on using it while worrying about it and trying to figure out what was wrong. I was in a mild depression because I figured something was wrong and it was going to take either allot of time, or allot of money to fix it.

Then after that hour of stress, I reached down for my water bottle to get a drink are realized that it had moved from it's perch to wedge itself between the loader control handle and the wheel well!!!

Eddie

 

[Arkaybee]

Bought a new Grand L 3830 HST with FEL, turftires, and 5' Landpride tiller AS COMPANY TO MY JD 850 gear tranny. I decided to try out the new rig on ground that might have been borderline "damp". Sure enough, I got completely bogged down STUCK. Oh, well, been there before and worked for several minutes using the FEL to get me out. Drove around to more solid ground and remembered that the new tractor had 4WD--Oh my non-working brain. I intentionally drove back down the same line I did previously and got it stuck again. Then put her in 4WD and drove right on through, JOY, JOY, JOY !

ARKAYBEE