How to get rid of horses?

[DrRod]

I'm probably not alone here when I say that I feel I've come to know you a bit and that I'm very sorry about the cancer diagnosis. I've gone through it and [a] things do look different to you when going through chemo, and they make progress all the time and there is good reason for hope.

As for the horses, possibly a relative or friend could intervene so she understands a few of them have to go. We have a monthly auction about an hour from here and a good horse always brings some money [maybe $1,000 to $2,000] and a good home. In addition to selling at auction, I've sold through advertisements which is like selling a car only worse, I've donated to a college riding program [world's pickiest people], a therapeutic riding center [an amazing program] and a mounted police unit [tax deductible and they were grateful].

Once when we were just starting out, we put an ad in the paper looking for "pasture ornaments" -- horses we had no intention of riding, just looking nice and grazing the fields. We got tons of responses because everyone has a horse that's too hot, too cold, or the kid has outgrown. The guy who gave us two really nice registered quarter horses brought his son by periodically to visit them. So there might be a solution there -- find someone close enough so your wife can stop by and visit, might ease the separation pain.

Best of luck to you all.

 

[Stimw]

I have seen two unrelated Farriers deal with a horse acting up while they were trimming hoofs.
Both swiftly kicked the horse in the stomach and both horses settled down.
It didn't seem like abuse and I think the sudden surprise made them more cooperative.
You might want to get the movie "Buck" (the horse whisperer) .
I did buy the movie Buck and movie Horse Whisperer on Amazon for about $10. Both GREAT!!

 

[aczlan]

Eddie, I would start with teaching the horses that you are the boss. Its going to be hard to find someone who will take a horse that wants to push/bite its handler.
I would start by lunging the horses (in a pen with just you and them), here is a basic video on how to do that:

You want to get them trotting/cantering for 10-15 minutes until they ask to stop, then keep them going a little longer. That will help them burn off some energy and at the same time help them understand that you are the boss.
In the interim, if they try to bite you, I would bop them in the nose with your closed fist. Not super hard, but hard enough that they feel it.

Aaron Z

 

[Deere Dude]

I live in horse country Tennessee where there are horses everywhere, but I never see anyone riding them. Go figure. Someone once said, "There are two kinds of people in this world, those with money and those with horses." I see that arrangement with my neighbors.

But, I have a neighbor with a couple hundred acres and about 160 horses. He takes some to fairs and shows and some to places where kids need therapeutic help by being near animals. Some horses just stand around in the pasture and eat and breed it seems. That is the life I would like.

If it was me, I would obviously sell them if possible or give them away to get away from the burden they are but look for for someone who already has a couple or a few so you can see how well taken care of their existing horses are. Maybe a bigger ranch type system with all kinds of horses already. I would not give a horse to someone who never had one or am not sure they can take care of it properly.

 

[newbury]

<snip>
My first question is advice on how to get her to agree to get rid of those two horses?

Very sorry to read about your wife's health. As others have written it is probably best to put that issue on the back burner until she recovers. From the way you have described her in the past she will probably come around and be amenable to getting rid of them to a good home. Until then just put out feelers for possible qualified
new homes.

SWMBO acts the same way with me when she's under stress. Over reacts, says get rid of it all, throw it all out. It's a common reaction to stress.

 

[RNeumann]

Easy to criticize someone else isn't it.

I felt it needed to be said. OP spent about 3 paragraphs making excuses for the reason he’s at where he’s at. If this CA goes south I’d hate to see his last time with her spend with tremendous resentment.....which has already started. I’m in a position to see literally hundreds of cases like this. The things that get said and done out of anger and frustration not only hurt at the time but can hurt (with guilt) long after one suffers loss.

CA is best fought as a team with both parties pulling in the same direction. The horses (and I’m sure many other things) are standing between a team effort. So yah- suck it up and have the tough conversation about getting rid of the horses so they can both focus 100% on (literally) the fight of her life. Or, suck it up, and never speak or think negatively about the horses again- Focus on the fight of her life without resentment. So you two can be a team with nothing between you two.

 

[joeyd]

Eddie,
Sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis, but glad to hear it was caught early and treatable. My wife and I are caring for my dad who is dealing with his own cancer diagnosis so I understand some of your concerns. From what you have shared about your wife here on TBN I'm sure she wants only the best for the horses you guys sure do everything to the best of your abilities. In a gentle way I would let her know that they are not going to live the life they deserve just wasting away in the pasture. They deserve to be healthy and happy by being ridden and active. Just plant the seeds let them take hold in her heart.

By the way that mare does look crazy!

 

[zzvyb6]

I hope your wife bets the cancer. My neighbor has 14" of colon removed but he is "cured". The goalie for my hockey team had more than that and he is "cured" just as she will be.

That being said, I would not do anything until she can agree (and hopefully suggest) that reducing the herd is best for your ranch. She will want to know that they will go to good homes, maybe even to visit them at a later day. You are obliged to care for her flock, that's what Love is. You do it for her not for the horses.

But at some point, and you can start looking now, how about local 4H Club projects? They feed, train, ride, and show the horses they have worked with. Better if you can provide financial support. Our local high school 4H clubs are very large. We also have Trail Riding clubs that have large memberships. Maybe they know of friends with extra stalls and pasture space. There are also horse rescue agencies that may be able to help adopt out your livestock. Attand a few horse shows and look on-line for possible buyers, maybe visit the Scottsdale Az. show(s)

Your wife will know when it's time to move on. Let it be her decision. Until then grin and bear it. Just my free opinion. Not a good idea to add any additional stress to her immune system. She may already see that it's affecting you and that's a good way for her to come to the realization not from anger but from tiring work. Maybe you can find some teens around that would like to trade training and riding with cleaning and feeding. Run a Facebook MarketPlace ad to get some interest generated when the time comes. Then see how it goes.

 

[airbiscuit]

When I was a kid, my sister wanted a horse. She got the horse and I got the work, so I am not a horse person. That said, I think I would tell my story time a farrier. They seem to be the original horse whisperers, and they get around. I wouldn't expect them to fix your problem, but I bet they could give you some good counsel.

 

[jfh28]

sorry to hear eddie......it's a rough time for her....and you.......keep in mind that she is not only going thru the physical battle of fighting the cancer but is probably also having to face her feelings on mortality.....her regrets in life......disappointments on things not done......the horses may be symbolic of this......things never got to do.......so you talking to her about getting rid of some may be making her feel that her dreams and plans are over......and could explain the reaction......and of course you didn't mean it to be taken like that.......but I'm afraid you are going to be stuck with the horses for a while......you now have the roles of carer for her....custodian for all the animals......maintenance of the property......and breadwinner.......thats a lot for anyone to take on......especially if some of the animals are not co-operative.......I'd suggest you get some help to lessen your load some.......maybe you can find someone who would come and take care of the horses for you on a daily basis so you don't have to deal with them.....it's only a temporary solution but maybe it buys you time while your wife recovers.....removes a negative chore for you and allows you to put your energy into the things you care for.......just a thought......hope it all works out.........Jack