How to get rid of horses?

[CobyRupert]

Sorry to hear. Thoughts and prayers with your wife. The bad news is the diagnosis, the good news is we are living in the year 2018 and have the miracles of modern medicine.

I'm not in your shoes, but you folks have my prayers for healing.

I can only guess that she's in an emotional state, and it could be a "live and let live" kind of thing.

Lord knows (and anyone in the Friendly Politics forum) that I never agree with Kyle, but I agree with him that this is not the time to throw more changes into her life. I think we here in a mechanical (tractor) forum tend to be of the logical type (does this/that make sense? pros/cons, cost benefits? etc..), and sometimes make decisions on this basis, but we should recognize there's sometimes more. (Especially with women (if I may stereotype)).

sorry to hear eddie......it's a rough time for her....and you.......keep in mind that she is not only going thru the physical battle of fighting the cancer but is probably also having to face her feelings on mortality.....her regrets in life......disappointments on things not done......the horses may be symbolic of this......things never got to do.......so you talking to her about getting rid of some may be making her feel that her dreams and plans are over......and could explain the reaction......and of course you didn't mean it to be taken like that.......but I'm afraid you are going to be stuck with the horses for a while......you now have the roles of carer for her....custodian for all the animals......maintenance of the property......and breadwinner.......thats a lot for anyone to take on......especially if some of the animals are not co-operative.......I'd suggest you get some help to lessen your load some.......maybe you can find someone who would come and take care of the horses for you on a daily basis so you don't have to deal with them.....it's only a temporary solution but maybe it buys you time while your wife recovers.....removes a negative chore for you and allows you to put your energy into the things you care for.......just a thought......hope it all works out.........Jack

Well said.

 

[newbury]

Eddie - Another thing -
If you've been "bitten" but didn't lose any meat I agree that the horses are trying to show dominance.

I "took care" of horses for several years, 2 of them were summers as a stableboy at a prestigious Girls Camp (gad what tales could come out ).

Several times we would have a "nipper". These horses were normally pampered and praised. Quick reflexes and a sound right to the nose (or whatever part of the head we could hit) usually tamed the "nipper". This may not be good horse psychology but it worked for us (the stableboys).

 

[two_bit_score]

Good luck Eddie. Prayers for you and Karen.


TBS

 

[EddieWalker]

Thank you for all the helpful advice. Before my wife got sick, she took care of the horses and the only thing I did was carry feed to the barn for her. Otherwise, I focused on other projects. I don't have anything against horses, or her having them, but five is just too much. It's like leaving a light bulb on in the house all day when you are gone to work. It won't kill me, but it hurts to just through away money for nothing in return. The other three are great and I'm fine with keeping them. The two that I would like to see go away are bullies to the other three, and that's probably where my dislike for them comes from. The one who bit me didn't break skin, and I think he does it to get my attention. He is very pushy. I have no problems walking around them, being next to them, or even petting on them. They are not mean, just stronger then the others and more needy then the others. Since taking over all the feeding chores, I've been changing how it's done and trying to improve our layout. The challenge is finding the time. I'm self employed, so I work during the day, do chores when I get home, and then do paper work in the evenings.

Nothing will happen until Karen is on board. They are "her" horses and it's her decision. She has 12 more radiation treatments to do, and each treatment is worse then the last one because of the burning it does to her skin. I'm not sure how much more chemo she will get. She is unable to make a decision right now. I'm just hoping that once this is in the past, we can move forward and focus on what is important and not deal with having five horses.

 

[TheMan419]

As to how to get rid of horses, I was gonna make a joke about getting a Texas sized BBQ pit, but after reading the details, I'll skip the humor. Best wishes to you and your wife. Here's to a speedy recovery. :thumbsup:

Once the two of you decide what to do with the horses, TheMan419 makes a good suggestion.... We have a therapeutic horse riding facility near us, and one of my daughters volunteered there for a few years. (I helped shovel manure with my tractor). One thing she mentioned, though, is that they look for horses that are mellow, non-intelligent, even downright boring, horses. They want slow horses that aren't curious about anything and kind of just stand there when people accidentally bump into them, fall off of them, etc... and arent' constantly looking for ways to escape, opening gates by themselves, getting into the food, aggressive behavior, etc...

But it couldn't hurt to contact them. Maybe they can take them in and use them to trade for suitable horses for their needs. Kinda like donating a performance car to a homeless shelter. They can sell it and get a couple practical cars out of it. Worth looking into.

Lol we may have met and not know it. I am on the board of directors of that particular facility.

 

[downsizingnow48]

Best wishes Eddie and Karen. No advice just best wishes.

 

[check]

sorry to hear eddie......it's a rough time for her....and you.......keep in mind that she is not only going thru the physical battle of fighting the cancer but is probably also having to face her feelings on mortality.....her regrets in life......disappointments on things not done......the horses may be symbolic of this......things never got to do.......so you talking to her about getting rid of some may be making her feel that her dreams and plans are over......and could explain the reaction......and of course you didn't mean it to be taken like that.......but I'm afraid you are going to be stuck with the horses for a while......you now have the roles of carer for her....custodian for all the animals......maintenance of the property......and breadwinner.......thats a lot for anyone to take on......especially if some of the animals are not co-operative.......I'd suggest you get some help to lessen your load some.......maybe you can find someone who would come and take care of the horses for you on a daily basis so you don't have to deal with them.....it's only a temporary solution but maybe it buys you time while your wife recovers.....removes a negative chore for you and allows you to put your energy into the things you care for.......just a thought......hope it all works out.........Jack

I agree - very good alalysis! And you might want the person who is taking care of the horses to start some training as well.

 

[Groo]

Just a heads up; if you get rid of bully animals, one of the former meek animals may become the bullies. Someone has to be dominant.
its like that with almost any animal.

 

[plowhog]

I'm self employed, so I work during the day, do chores when I get home, and then do paper work in the evenings.

And you are caring for your wife who has a very serious illness and needs your time and support. A wife who used to contribute to the chores and wishes she could again do so, but physically cannot. I hope you are able to find some help to offset a nearly impossible workload that is now upon you. Whatever help you can find, will give you more time or energy to care for your wife. Best wishes on that. And prayers for your wife's speedy and full recovery.

You might consider buying her a portable electric blanket. Just a little advice from one who has traveled down that path ...

 

[DrRod]

When I was a kid, my sister wanted a horse. She got the horse and I got the work, so I am not a horse person. That said, I think I would tell my story time a farrier. They seem to be the original horse whisperers, and they get around. I wouldn't expect them to fix your problem, but I bet they could give you some good counsel.

That's good advice. I always thought of the farriers as the hair dressers of the horse world. They get around and know all the gossip before anyone else. And they know who's a good horse person and who might offer a solution.