How to spend your legacy?

[RSKY]

I will also set up a fund to pay for some of these people to stay home. They don't necessarily need to be there, but their offspring just put them there because they don't want their life inconvenienced.

Don't be so judgmental until you've had to change a ninety year old man's sh!tty diapers a couple times a day for a week or so.

I know some dump their elders in homes but most of the time there is little choice. People have jobs, people have young children who need cared for. Neighbor had to put his wife in the hospital Monday with her Alzheimer's because he just couldn't handle her anymore. Two weeks ago she wanted to get rid of some clothes by burning them. In the bedroom. On the bed. He is in his mid eighties and in bad health and said she had gone down daily in the two weeks since the burning incident. She will end up in a home that cares for memory patients like her. Even if the two sons quit their jobs and abandoned their families I doubt if the three could care for her.

RSKY

 

[Snobdds]

I get that portion of why people in that condition need a place like that. My grandfather is there because he is in that condition.

Visiting their dining rooms is an educational experience everyone should experience, and just observe.

 

[Streetcar]

I get that portion of why people in that condition need a place like that. My grandfather is there because he is in that condition.

Visiting their dining rooms is an educational experience everyone should experience, and just observe.

I had great uncle that had to be put in home, was in great physical condition but liked to walk with dementia. Lock down facility

 

[Hay Dude]

We have my wifes mother living with us. Bad Dementia. Luckily can’t leave the bed too easily or we’d have even bigger problems. My wife and our visiting nurse deal with diapers, barf, you name it every day. They have my sympathy and I can’t imagine the pain of having to do that.
I had to build a suite for her to live in just to get her away from us, yet not have to put her in a demetia home
Every month that goes by, she becomes more like a combination of a unruly toddler and an untrained house pet. It’s really disturbing sometimes. You DON’T want this under any circumstances.
Hard to believe 10 years ago, this same person was traveling to Europe and living her life independently.
I don’t agree with Euthanasia, but man there’s times when it seems sensible. You look at what these people turn into, and you can’t believe it.

 

[Tinhack]

My wife and our visiting nurse deal with diapers, barf, you name it every day. They have my sympathy and I can’t imagine the pain of having to do that.

When my dad was still with us (RIP), he had a stoma from back in the 50s and updated in the 80s. I had to deal with that for about a year, but it beat the alternative at the time. Love them while you can.

 

[Hay Dude]

When my dad was still with us (RIP), he had a stoma from back in the 50s and updated in the 80s. I had to deal with that for about a year, but it beat the alternative at the time. Love them while you can.

Agree, but how can you love someone who doesn’t know who you are, calls you silly names and poops themselves daily? Or throws up all over themselves and sleeps in it? Randomly kicks and punches aid-givers?
After years of this, it becomes tiring and frustrating.

 

[ovrszd]

We have my wifes mother living with us. Bad Dementia. Luckily can’t leave the bed too easily or we’d have even bigger problems. My wife and our visiting nurse deal with diapers, barf, you name it every day. They have my sympathy and I can’t imagine the pain of having to do that.
I had to build a suite for her to live in just to get her away from us, yet not have to put her in a demetia home
Every month that goes by, she becomes more like a combination of a unruly toddler and an untrained house pet. It’s really disturbing sometimes. You DON’T want this under any circumstances.
Hard to believe 10 years ago, this same person was traveling to Europe and living her life independently.
I don’t agree with Euthanasia, but man there’s times when it seems sensible. You look at what these people turn into, and you can’t believe it.

I 100% support "right to die". This country muders hundreds of babies per day. But we don't have the right to end our personal misery without commiting suicide?

 

[IndyJay]

Agree, but how can you love someone who doesn’t know who you are, calls you silly names and poops themselves daily? Or throws up all over themselves and sleeps in it? Randomly kicks and punches aid-givers?
After years of this, it becomes tiring and frustrating.

My wife reminds her siblings that their mother did that for the five of them while they were unable yet to care for themselves. That now for a similar short period of time she is the one who needs that same loving care.

 

[Hay Dude]

My wife reminds her siblings that their mother did that for the five of them while they were unable yet to care for themselves. That now for a similar short period of time she is the one who needs that same loving care.

I hear you my friend, although I will add, adult “soiling” is quite a handfull, especially when she throws it at the caregiver. She also kicked the caregiver several times, and once hurt her ribs.
Usually she still recognizes my wife and is a bit easier on her.

The reason we have her with us is to spare her the abuse that comes with most of the dementia facilities. We remember her in the good times and realize she “died” long ago and whatever creature resides in her is not her.

 

[Tinhack]

My wife reminds her siblings that their mother did that for the five of them while they were unable yet to care for themselves. That now for a similar short period of time she is the one who needs that same loving care.

That's it. That's how you do it and I'd do it all over again.