You got it all right. Re fittings, hydraulics have at least 3 different standards for fittings, and they refer to them as #6, #8 etc. The ## is 1/16" so a #6 is 3/8" but..... it's more complicated that that. For example, #6 o-ring looks nothing like #6 NPT, and #6 JIC looks nothing like any other 3/8" anything. I fugure I'll understand it all just about when I don't need to know it anymore.
Re pressure setting, you are exactly correct. The lowest relief valve UPSTREAM from teh implement will release first. With the loader, the only updstream valve is on the loader control. With the 3PH, both the 3PH relief valve and the loader relief value are upstream, so the lowest setting will go first. That's what was happening with mine too - the loader was set low and was releasing first at something like 1600 lbs, which is way low. The loader should be a bit higher than the 3PH. My mechanic said 200lbs, which seems high to me. I like your 50lbs better.