I have had enough!!!

[bigshovel]

I sit here at my desk at my office at 11:00p.m on a night before a national holliday at my wits end. A brief look into my world for all of you and more so a rant for me. I have started 3 company's and sold 2 before the age of 35 currently have one now with a branch in VA. I avoided marriage up until a year ago because I knew how I operate, I don't have time for me let alone anyone else. I lost a large construction project public bid today to an idiot that bid 1.5 million below my cost, 31 million dollar project. I paid for my younger brothers education and hired him upon graduation, he quit a year later, no hard feelings for either party. He went to work for a competitor 2 states away, didn't bother me. He soon realized that grass wasn't as green as he hoped. So I decided to open a location in VA for him to run. 9 months later, today as a matter of fact I recieve a phone call from him and he announces he's seeking greener pastures again.His actions bother me this time and I really need to keep thing civil for family's sake but it's going to be tough. So now I need to figure out whether to replace him or close up shop and cut my losses. If I choose to make a go of it my next step will be divorce court which I'm not fond of that picture at all. I don't have other employees at that location that I trust to look out for my best interests, yet. I needed to vent, sorry. Anyone out there interested in being a project manager .

Brad

 

[RollingsFarms]

I sit here at my desk at my office at 11:00p.m on a night before a national holliday at my wits end. A brief look into my world for all of you and more so a rant for me. I have started 3 company's and sold 2 before the age of 35 currently have one now with a branch in VA. I avoided marriage up until a year ago because I knew how I operate, I don't have time for me let alone anyone else. I lost a large construction project public bid today to an idiot that bid 1.5 million below my cost, 31 million dollar project. I paid for my younger brothers education and hired him upon graduation, he quit a year later, no hard feelings for either party. He went to work for a competitor 2 states away, didn't bother me. He soon realized that grass wasn't as green as he hoped. So I decided to open a location in VA for him to run. 9 months later, today as a matter of fact I recieve a phone call from him and he announces he's seeking greener pastures again.His actions bother me this time and I really need to keep thing civil for family's sake but it's going to be tough. So now I need to figure out whether to replace him or close up shop and cut my losses. If I choose to make a go of it my next step will be divorce court which I'm not fond of that picture at all. I don't have other employees at that location that I trust to look out for my best interests, yet. I needed to vent, sorry. Anyone out there interested in being a project manager .

Brad

to be honest it sounds like to me your brother is/has been using you as a crutch. he works for you for awhile, then wants to find that same money with probably less work, and when it doesn't workout that way he knows that you will bail him out. then after he works for you some more, he does the same thing. i say bring in an outside source to be your next project manager, someone with experience(5 years min.). let your brother know that you love him, but you have a business to run and you need people you can DEPEND on. you arent looking for someone who's going to bail on you every couple of years. you need consistency in your business and everytime your brother leaves for greener pastures as you say, you must start over. you can't do that on a consisten basis and expect to stay in business long. so if i was you, i'd be getting the word out to hire a new project manager. you might want to start with an employee firm, even though they cost, you will at least have plenty of qualified cantidates to interview. again, this being a new location and a new business, you need experience more then anything. you don't need someone who's "green", not that they wouldn't do the job, but let's face it, experience is invaluable.

p.s. i have my bachelor's in business management, but i wouldn't move to PA. sounds like a great job to have though!

 

[randy41]

where in VA?
everyone's point of view is different but to me my marriage would be the top priority.

 

[deereguy]

Why is your marriage in jeopardy if you close down your satellite office? Or is there something I am missing?

 

[Ductape]

I'll offer my advice. In my late 20s i started my own business...... a business that had to offer 24 hr service. I loved my business and working didn't really feel like work. All too often i ended up working seven days a week. It was ok though, because i felt i made decent money. For 12 years all i did was work. Relationships came and went. Christmas, birthdays, family events.... all came and went while i was working. Then i met my wife. She convinced me to slow down and smell the roses. I came to realize my business was a ball and chain around my ankle...... so i got rid of it. Its just not whats important in life. Now, at 42 i'm hoping its nt too late for me to make a baby or two!

Let your brother go. Don't ever hire him again. Forgive him, he's only trying to do whats best for himself (even if he's wrong). Close the other branch of your business........ save your marriage. Spend a little more time at home. Live life a little more. So you'll make a little less, and maybe feel like you've failed in some way...... so what??!! Life is so much better when you slow down. That branch of your business isn't whats important in your life, your marriage IS.

Sure, i now make a fraction of what i used to..... but now my life is successful. I hope i'm lucky enough to have the ultimate success.... children.

My opinion : Do the right thing. Let your brother go. Don't hold it against him. Close that portion of your business. Spend a little more time at home. Make your wife happy.

 

[Farmwithjunk]

Save your marriage. You'll come to realize in due time that's the most important thing you can have in life. Cut losses. Let brother sink or swim...without subsidizing his "swimming lessons". Streamline your operation to where it's not a giant burden. Life's too short to be unhappy most of the time.

 

[kenmac]

Been there ,done that with younger brother. Haden't spoken in 3 yrs because of it.Never, never, never did I say never do business with kin. Sorry to hear your in that situation

 

[Tig]

Save the marriage. Your wife will love you forever, your business will love you never.

 

[MossRoad]

Sorry for your pain. Close the operation, spend time with your spouse. Tell your brother you love him and move on. You sound successful enough.

 

[js5020]

As a former workaholic, I concur with everyone else. There is nothing more important than your family. When you get old, none of your projects will be there to sit on the porch with you.

 

[Eagleview]

Looking on the other side , do'nt you have a foreman or someone at your branch that would jump at the opertunity to run the other buisness ? Someone with drive and the experience gained from already working with you . Most people would do anything to be given a chance like that .

 

[bigshovel]

I knew what I needed to do before I began typing original post, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I have had a day or so to cool down and analyze my options. Thanks to all that listened to my rant. Younger brother will be replaced, I have made contact with a well respected gentleman from the industry that is willing as of now to relocate and run that entity. I will meet with him this Wednesday. Younger brother won't return my calls, that ball is in his court, the wife seems to be ok with my need to be out of town for a few weeks, seems to be and is are two different things. I just can't bring myself to close up shop and look ahead instead of back. I have alot invested in the branch location and the numbers are worth my time, not my current stress level however. I will set up the prospective "new guy" with an insane incentive program to keep me out of the day to day operations as much as possible. The training time of someone that does not come from this industry is 5-7 years until they begin being profitable and efficient. There is a huge difference between being capable and being trustworthy as hiring goes. Thank you all for your insight and reply's. I'll probably never know what it is like to not go to sleep stressed, wake up not stressed and be able to sit on a porch and relax but I try.

Brad

 

[slewisma]

... the wife seems to be ok with my need to be out of town for a few weeks, seems to be and is are two different things.

Will you need to work a ton when you're at the other branch or just keep an eye on things / help the new guy get started? Reason I ask is that I've found that sometimes bringing my wife along on a business trip can be a good thing. Not if I'll have to abandon her in some hotel all day and night. But if I'll work normal days or less, she can explore the area, shop, etc. during the day and then we can go do together at night. Even if she just came down for the weekends (assuming you can't get home) or the middle week of the three it might be a nice way to support each other.

I'll probably never know what it is like to not go to sleep stressed, wake up not stressed and be able to sit on a porch and relax but I try.

You will, you can't see it yet but it will come in time. I know. I once was a workaholic that couldn't stop. I still love my work but the balance is coming back and it isn't so bad.

 

[hayden]

On their death bed, nobody has ever said "I wish I spent more time at work".

20 years from now, nobody will remember or care about all the hours you put in at work, but your wife and kids will remember every birthday, holiday, sporting event, etc that you missed.

 

[czechsonofagun]

bigshovel what is your industry, if it's not a secret?

 

[Podunkadunk]

On their death bed, nobody has ever said "I wish I spent more time at work".

20 years from now, nobody will remember or care about all the hours you put in at work, but your wife and kids will remember every birthday, holiday, sporting event, etc that you missed.

Probably the wisest words I've ever read on this website.

-Podunk

 

[bigshovel]

Well here's where I am at the moment. I met with new prospect at length yesterday and this is what I AM going to do. With the new prospects current situation he will finish all of my contract work until contracts are fullfilled. Upon completion I will suspend operations in Virginia and he will return to his life as it was before I interupted it. This actually works out well for both of us in our given situation's. I am gratefull for his help, one of few that could pull this off, and he is gratefull as well due to his market "geographics" is slow right now. After further evaluation of my own existance, I need to get with the program. I have basically ignored my new wife, new home and all of my old friends for too long. Hayden is right, no one in their last breath wishes to have worked and ignored family more. I guess an awakening has occured on my behalf and I better make some changes and modifications to my life. Thanks all that replied for all of your input.

Brad

 

[Gravdigr]

Could be worse (or better depending on the point of view). My wife and I recently took over her families business. I worked for them for 14 years, and happen to live right next door to the in-laws. Try taking over a failing business and trying to make it work while your father-in-law/ex boss tells you everything you are doing different is wrong when it obviously didn't work when he did it his way.

There have been many a screaming match and close calls with physical violence and me warning him I'm the one that buries the bodies now.

Eventually it all smooths out. We had similar problems with my brother-in-law after I started working there and cought him imbezzeling the company right under his parents nose.

 

[Eagleview]

There have been many a screaming match and close calls with physical violence and me warning him I'm the one that buries the bodies now.

Why not use a 3' auger and bury them standing up ? You could get 3 in the same amount of space . You'll be ritch .

 

[Gravdigr]

There have been many a screaming match and close calls with physical violence and me warning him I'm the one that buries the bodies now.

Why not use a 3' auger and bury them standing up ? You could get 3 in the same amount of space . You'll be ritch .

If you can get a tractor big enough to run a 3' auger in my cemetery you're hired and no, you can't drive over the stones.