I turned 60 today and...

[MoKelly]

2 blondes fall into a sinkhole one blonde says to the other its dark down here the other blonde says I don'[t know I can't see!

If you wanna drive a blonde crazy put her in a round building and tell her to sit in a corner

Never heard the first one before.

I’m going to use it with my SIL. She has a great sense of humor.

MoKelly

 

[Williy]

If I had cancer this is what I would do!

stop eating meat, coffee and soda as this makes our system acidic

lemon juice and water makes your system alkaline

take 1000mgs of VIT "C" every; 4 hours because if your body don't use it it spits it out

couple of ozs fresh carrot juice 3 or 4 times a day

mix this well 4 oz water,
4 to 6 tablespoons pure maple syrup
1 teaspoon of baking soda

take morning and night for 2 weeks and you should get report
no cancer

I had colon cancer going up in the limp nodes sat in front of a
Dr;. Rife machine 7 times no cancer
went to the VA hospital and the surgeon said when was the last time
you had a colonoscopy I said 5 years ago he said well the ama says
you only need one every 10 years and he got up and walked away
and I was so weak it took two hands to put a 10 lb bag of flour in the
shopping cart.

I like to help people get them to laugh as a happy person is usually a
healthy person. Grumpy people are usually SICK and have no sense
of humor!

If you want to make friends with a Russian give them a bottle of vodka

don't be suckin on prune juice and vodka or you will be the fastest person around!

 

[GeneV]

It's the 21st Century... those kind of jokes aren't so funny anymore.

Oh, they're still pretty funny, but only if you wake up from all this wokeness we living through now.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

I love swimming and would swim every day if I could but living out in the country its hard to find an indoor pool.

I float and swim like a rock.

 

[Hay Dude]

I float and swim like a rock.

What??? I You didn’t learn how to swim good in that farm pond? That’s how I learned.
Hey I’m headed though the pan handle to Athens today. Wheres your farm? I‘ll wave when I drive by!

 

[tradosaurus]

It's the 21st Century... those kind of jokes aren't so funny anymore.

 

[dragoneggs]

I float and swim like a rock.

You must be a flat 'skipper' type!

 

[buckeyefarmer]

What??? I You didn’t learn how to swim good in that farm pond? That’s how I learned.
Hey I’m headed though the pan handle to Athens today. Wheres your farm? I‘ll wave when I drive by!

I’m at the farm. Between Marietta and wheeling.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Pond is in this valley.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Never learned to swim either. I too don't even float. Mom didn't know how and my Dad would have drowned me with his lack of patience in such matters.

Friend "assured" me he should teach me in his man made lake. Don't you just love people with their constant positive unrealistic BS projections. Anyway, all I got for my troubles was an eye infection.