Mr. Moron mired in muck

   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #1  

Richard

Elite Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2000
Messages
4,980
Location
Knoxville, TN
Tractor
International 1066 Full sized JCB Loader/Backhoe and a John Deere 430 to mow with
I started to write about this when this happened a couple of weeks ago and stopped. The thought struck me again, so here it is.

Preface: TVA (Tennessee Valley Authority) lowers the lake levels during winter

Driving home other day noticed something strange. Evidently, yet another moron took his vehicle 4 wheeling. Fine on the face of it, however, he went down on the lakebed where the water has receded. He was evidently meandering along when (giant sucking sound) his truck got swallowed up in a deep muck hole. /w3tcompact/icons/crazy.gif His drivers side bottom doorplate was under water, right rear tire up in air...he was REALLY stuck and convoluted.

LONG story short, (I got a REAL problem with these morons doing this type stuff) I went home, called TVA police and spent next 2 to 3 hours working with Brutus cleaning up some stuff by the house.

Well, I got curious ...

After dark, I took Brutus down road to see if he was there. He was. Along with TVA police and 3 other trucks that they had made attempts to pull him out with. I lumbered down and agreed to see if I could pull him out as long as he understood I am taking NO responsibility if I break the frame on his truck. He says fine. He hands me this HEAVY HEAVY duty “bicycle” chain...I almost died. I was surprised at how quickly I had become used to the square link, grade 100, 3/8 chain from Labonville. My chain to his chain was like a Mac Truck to a Tonka Toy. It was amazing to hear their “ohhs and ahhhs” when they saw my chain. Indeed, Mr. Moron almost had to submerse himself entirely in the muck to latch his vehicle. (DEL, I thought of you about this time) /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif We threw his wimp chain away (it would have just snapped) and latched on to Brutus. I pulled and just spun my tires. Hooked chain onto hoe, planted bucket and stabilizers and GAD-ZOOKS...this thing was incredible...his entire truck just LURCHED out of the hole. No if’s and’s or butt’s about it... Just a simple clean and jerk. He couldn’t have fought me if his life depended on it.

Turns out, no damage (from me) to his truck. Upon pulling him BACKWARDS out of the mud at his convoluted angle, the front grill of his truck apparently worked as a scraper and dug into the muck puddle and just GOUGED the mud and packed it into the front of his engine compartment. /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif I think the officer also cited him. Gads I was loving it...(ok, so your seeing my darker side)

After Mr. Moron’s many thanks and embarrassments... my neighbor and I were talking.. Seems my neighbor is the victim these morons ALWAYS flock to because his house is right there. Even if it is 3:30 in the morning...they simply don’t care who (or when) they bother when it comes to helping bail their *&^$^*% out of a jamb. He knew I had Brutus and didn’t offer the knowledge of my existence. I wanted to see if/how hard it would be to yank someone out. Now that I know I could probably yank a tank I might tell my neighbor that it’s ok to mention me...AS LONG as he also tells the idiot that my fee is “X” dollars, say $150 to yank. I’ll keep 100 and he can have 50. Cash up front or they can sit and rot for all I care or call tow truck and because of how rural we are, he can wait 4 hours for response and STILL pay 150. Of course, I am contemplating some disclaimer letter for Mr. Moron to sign acknowledging he did a stupid thing, and that trucks aren’t designed to be jerked from muck by a backhoe and that he takes all responsibility for his moronic movements.

Of course, I don’t think I’ll mention to Mr. Moron, that along with my fee, comes a call to TVA police... seems they just happen to cruise the area at the darndest times...
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #2  
Richard, I wish I could be as lucky with the morons I have to deal with dumping trash at the rural birdge along my property.. The "Dark Side" can be so alluring.... I think the $150 charge is good for all concerned....
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #3  
Richard,
By the sounds this guy hasn't learn in the past and there a good chance nor the future...sad.

Do to the circumstances I would have also made a phone call.

Thomas..NH /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #4  
Amazing how much of a crowd pleaser the old square link can be isn't it. Just be careful of pulling out trucks or whatever else---if you are going to charge money make sure you've got some insurance coverage just to be on the safe side.

Brutis comes in handy again!!!/w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif
Gordon
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #5  
Richard,

It was very decent of you to pull that guy out. I would think that Gordon is right about the insurance, things change when going from a good samaritan to business relationship.

That story reminds me of a truck I saw stuck many years ago. They were building a new set of lanes onto a highway and some guy in an oversized 4WD decided to test out the new lanes before anyone else. His luck ended when he drove, at speed, into a section that wasn't poured yet. When he hit the other side his entire front axle assembly tires and all came off and slid backwards. When I saw it the next day the truck had it's front tires and axle etc. sitting under the driver's door. Kind of a hard one to explain to the wife I would imagine.

18-30989-tractorsig1.JPG
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #6  
Jag,Check the archives in Rural Living,thread;pet dumping.Turns into trash dumping and some of the ways we all deal with it.
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #7  
Mr. MR, I was there with the whole thread, and it is something that I am still dealing with about once a week in a big way.
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #8  
I don't know what it is about beaches and lake bottoms that brings in the goonies!

I went down to Riffe Lake which is the dam formed lake behind Mossyrock Dam (washington). It is so low from lack of rain that the oldtown site is visible. You can actually drive down the old highway although the pavement is only about 2 foot wide in places. It's on a good gravel base so no problem.

At one point there is a big bridge that was either dynamited or fell into the lake after time. Stopped at edge of pavement and walked down to look at it, after about 100 feet I had a ball of GOO on each leg that got bigger and bigger, like a rolling snowball! I couldn't hardly stand up on the slightest slope. I can't imagine what that would be like to DRIVE in.
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck #9  
Richard

Thanks for sharing that story with us. It was really funny! ;-) After digging the cattails/muck outta my pond with a backhoe, have a new found respect for muck. That stuff can stop a dozer in it's tracks! Moral of the story: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MUCK! hahahahaha

Chuck in IN
 
   / Mr. Moron mired in muck
  • Thread Starter
#10  
Grant, Don't pat me on the back QUITE so fast...read my fine print...I KNEW he was stuck and needed help while I worked outside for several hours BEFORE I became concerned enough to check on his status. /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif (in other words, my project was done)

Besides, I wanted him to see what the definition of the word stuck can REALLY mean. (not to mention the definition of CITATION for driving where he was..can you say "Who called the cops?") HAR DE HAR HAR...

Just a touch more illustration on his problem, though only pictures could do justice...I said his doorsil was under water. Actually, it was under the muck level. His truck was amazingly covered in mud. He almost had to take a scuba tank and go diving to get the chain on his axel. Having to literally SWIM in the muck absolutely soaked him in muck. THEN he got to get into his truck /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif getting mud all over the INSIDE of his truck /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif and "drive" it out while I pulled. Hooo boy, was his truck, it's interior and his body a muddy sight to see. I can only presume he probably took a hose to interior to clean it out. (TONS more /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif)

My my, yes, I'm afraid I may be showing a bit much of my darker side...
 

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