My Neighbor Mows Some of My Lawn

[patrickg]

Chris, Thanks for the thoughts. I just keep reminding myself that I am one of the "good guys" and that I am not allowed to lower myself to his level or worse. I feel like I am living a miniature version of the US under terrorist attack. The terrorist does as he pleases when he pleases without regard to morality, fairness, truth, justice, or the American way. Meanwhile we folk with the white hats aren't able to use preemptive strikes or reply in kind.

I received several "creative" suggestions, many via private communications, of tactics to employ against my neighbor but can''t bring myself to "wrestle with a pig" since I would just get dirty and the pig would have fun. Should this end up in court, and it is likely, I don't want there to be the slightest doubt as to who is who in the zoo. I want the contrast between my and his actions to speak loudly and clearly on the topic of who is acting in good faith in an honest and forthright manner and who is clearly not. If I were to "get cute" with my neighbor I would spoil the advantage I think I have and make it look like I was just as "guilty" of being a pain in the a-- as the neighbor is and in the mind of the judge there would be some sort of compromise, a proportionment of guilt/blame/responsibility if you will. I might be thought to be nearly half the problem. If I stay aloof and above the fray I hope to be viewed to be as guiltless as I am. If I do anything at all that could be thought of as negative, I would predjudice my position.

I hope that we achieve a simple clarification of what the neighbor must cease doing and where the fence will go. I have been wrestling with the problem of where to put the fence. If I use the OLD pins which were placed in error he might attack that. If I use the new ones he might attack that. He literally lives off of the proceeds of his previous suits. He spent his last three years on the force in litigation suing his chief, the force, and the city. His next job ended in a claim that set him up pretty well financially. He "claims" to be disabled by his inhalation of CO on the job. Well, like back pain, it is hard to prove him wrong. He got a "nice" settlement but his being disabled doesn't interfere with his wild 4 wheeling, jet ski operating etc etc. I hope to avoid making a contribution to his bankaccount via a suit against me.

I hope the nearly inevitable lawsuit I'll bring against him removes the basis for any suit he might have brought regarding boundaries after I install the fence. Should be hard for him to get anywhere in court about fence placement after the court has decided the proper boundary marker. Seems a shame, somehow, that there is no way to get the court to determine the boundary without entering into an adversarial proceeding, and bring suit in court but that seems to be THE WAY it is done.

I really admire cane. I like it a lot. It grows so well in many locations. It gets really tall and after a while gets so dense that you can't see through it. I like giant forrest bamboo too but it probably won't do as good here as I would like. I guess I'll have to plant me some nice beautifut tall cane. Cane would screen my view of the concrete rubble wall that will go up on my property for bullet protection from his shooting. Cane, being a natural thing, a growing plant, is virtually immune from consideration for lawsuit as a really tall privacy fence might be. I was advised that a privacy fence might trigger a lawsuit for loss of his view of , now get this, MY PROPERTY. Ahh, the beauty of cane, 10, 15, maybe 20 ft tall cane, maybe 20-30 ft wide swath in a "U" shape 350 ft in the long direction and 150 ft between the uprights of the "U". Now cane alone is a beautiful thing but I really like vines too, especially pretty vines like Ivy. We have a couple kinds of hearty ivy plant that grows in great proliferation around here and seems hard to kill. The one has variagated leaves and is real pretty but its thorns are something to deal with. The other "native" ivy has the cutest little white berries on it and attractive little groups of leaves, seems to always have leaves in groups of three. Anyway, I think the cane would just look real nice with a mixture of these nice ivy plants twining around and about them from the ground to the tops. I hope they are compatible with the cane, and would tolerate the same pH adjustments, watering, and fertilization program that I would need to get the cane off to a good start.

I'm beginning to feel motivated to plant ornamental stuff. Osage Orange (Bois d'arc) trees are pretty as are mesquite and certain locust trees. I like the nice thorn pattrerns on some of the locust.

Say Chris, or anyone else with an understanding of my aesthetic theme, any ideas for fast growing trees/plants that would be compatible with my overall needs, my "THEME" as it were? Planting/transplanting season for trees is coming soon.

Patrick

 

[cstocks]

I laughed through your last three paragraphs. Not at your situation but because I understand your frustration and your desire for privacy and your desire to block out the ash hole next door. I laughed because I have the same feeling towards the neighbor next door to my three acres. We are hoping to build on the lot this year and have owned it for four years. It has taken the better part of the four years to get a grasp of what kind of neighbors we will have since we don't live there yet and don't talk to them that much. All and all they seem to be good neighbors but the lady does not work and has waaay too much time on her hands. So far she has meddled with her neighbor on the other side for putting goats on the back acre of his three acres. Her latest project is to try to get the county to lower the speed limit on the road out front for the sake of the neighborhood kids. Huh? What kids? We have a 200 acre pasture across the road full of cows! She eyeballs every move we make when we are there and has an opinion about everything. We have taken to calling her Nosy Rosey. Point is, after we get moved onto our lot we plan on doing the same thing you are comtemplating doing - blocking her view out completely. 'Course with us not being on contentious terms with her like you are with your neighbor we probably won't plant something as drastic as cane, three leafed vines or thorns but those are some very good ideas!

We were thinking about something more along the line of Oleanders, which if yoy are not familiar with, is a bush that grows to monumental proportions and has flowers on it all summer long. You often see them planted in the median between the lanes of the freeways here in Texas. Plant a row of those and in a very few years you will have a natural fence about 10-12 ft tall. No thorns though./w3tcompact/icons/sad.gif Vines came to mind too, but not of the three leaf variety!/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif Now if you want to plant something a little more "hostile" how about planting some pyracanthas (sp?) It is a bush that has flowers and is thorny as all getout. They get big and bushy and would give some privacy as well as some discomfort to anyone attempting to crash through them. Also, how about a row or two of pampas grass? They make nice, large clumps and the fronds are sharp as a razor and will cut you in a skinny minute if you brush against them the wrong way.

One thing you might want to think about as far as cane is concerned is that cane can be intrusive, i.e. spread out on your loving neighbor's land, too. If you worry that he would sue you for blocking your view, might he not sue you for planting an intrusive plant near his land as well? Of course the case would probably not have any merit but given his history of lawsuits that does not mean he would not go there again. Same thing with the three leaf vines or anything with thorns on it. Your neighbor certainly seems capable of suing for any rash, scratch or punture that he thinks he can blame on you.

As far as your behavior before your court date, you are definitely doing the right thing taking the high road and staying above the level of your neighbor. Keeping it clean and aboveboard will certainly help your case in court just as his sorry shenanigans will hurt his case and his credibility. Keep up the good fight and good luck! I feel your pain.

 

[Gary_in_Indiana]

I'm no expert on plants but do know of one bush that's very fast growing and very, very hearty to the point of being almost bullet proof. It's called a Privet Hedge around here. I hope I have the spelling correct. If not, maybe someone can correct it for you.

In any event, this grows very rapidly and in the summer months acts much like a green wall. My biggest complaint with one I had was the effort required to maintain it for a suburban neighborhood.

 

[rancar]

Patrick...

<font color=blue>The neighbor....has a fence jutting out into it, has shot down a large tree of mine with repetitive rifle fire, and most recently has shot down some steel fence posts and claimed the cows knocked it down and he has made demands including one by fax to get a steer as compensation for damage to his garden (cows got in due to his ruining my fence with rifle fire).</font color=blue>

Thanks for the clarification and explaining it in more detail. Now, I know what kind of 'neighbor' this is. You're doing the right thing now. Send him legal notice until he gets the message his services aren't needed or wanted.

Bob

 

[patrickg]

Oleanders, oleanders.... Lets see, was it the Kingston Trio or the Smothers Bros that sang, "O-le-an-der Oly Oly ander OLy Oly Oly Oly Oly Oleander. Note: the Cal state hyw dept uses Oleanders as freeway dividers, mostly pink and white. Thanks for the Pyracanthus tip. Too bad Saw Grass and Palmetto (like in Fla) don't like this climate. I'll have to check into Natal Plum. Natal Plum is a beautiful blooming shrub that can reach tree proportions in SOCAL, not sure it will work here. It has thorns that would do a miniature deer proud as a rack. Huge doubly bifurcated things of enormous proportions. Has pretty white blossoms followed by 1 1/4 to 2 inch fruit that gives a bad tasting white milky substance when cut but is edible when fully ripe. I have made hedges of it before and it was tremendously effective and good looking. I've seen it used around public buillding like post offices etc. It reduced the number of folks cutting across the grass and ducking through the hedge.

I'm sorry you have a stereotypical busybody whose personal proof of existence is to alter the lives of others through medling. I could have some fun with her you betcha! Anything from mock gun battles to burying bodies on the property.

Have someone drive up in a car or pickup blowing their horn to summon you with a rolled up tarp with "bulge/dead body". Together you unload it from the vehicle in her sight (with lots of furtive glances all around) into the FEL bucket and trasport to a waiting hole (dug with your tractor for more seat time). Hole should be partially visible to the busybody. Unwrap the dead guy (friend/accomplice) and dump into the hole then use FEL to fill hole (dead guy sereptitiously gets into bucket for a ride to a place of concealment, be very careful eith this step as bucket riding is inherently dangerous) You return from there with another load of dirt and continue to fill the hole and back drag it for neatness. The other accomplice that brought the dead body in a vehicle that she is not familiar with (the car with the partially obscured/modified lisc plate numbers - I have used colored tape as a "running iron") leaves the scene and is out of her sight. The driver then pulls the tape off of the plates and goes home. The tape should only be placed on the plates just before they arrive in sight as it would be a bad idea to be noticed by the law while plates are altered. The plate alteration is because busybody types often use binocs and she might get the numbers otherwise.

If she bites she will call the law but by the time they get there the hole is filled and smooth and the getaway car got away. You protest your innocence and play it straight. They probably will not reveal the source of their tip but you can say somethig like, "did you get a call from Nosey Rosey the paranoid delusional that lives over there? Yeah, she is definitely a space case, ask her about the voices she hears coming out of the electrical outlets or how the hair dressers take control of your mind with the chemicals they put on your hair when they give a permanent. Offer to dig out the place with the disturbed earth to show them there is no body down there.

After a few inventive guerilla theater performances at random intervals, she couldn't get the law to respond if she had live footage of aliens raping her chickens and it was going on right then and she included their spiritual leader via a conference call. It couldn't hurt to enlist the assistance of the neighbor whose goat husbandry was fooled with so you aren't the only one she calls about. Later if she tries anything with you or your neighbors you ask if this is another episode of her delusional behavior like in the case of x, y, and z and ... Thoroughly discredited, she may have to find another passtime.

First check to see if she is a retired postal worker for your own personal safety.

I'm available as storyline/sceanario consultant if you need a few more one act plays written for a small amateur cast.

I also have designed a few special effects that can convince a fair number of sane persons that they saw a flying saucer, ghost, whatever.

And no, that's OK, don't bother to include me in the credits.

Patrick

 

[patrickg]

Gary, Thanks a lot, man. I'll check into that. If it grows in Indiana maybe it might grow here.

Patrick

 

[cstocks]

Patrick,

What a wild imagination and sense of humor! I haven't laughed so hard in days!/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif Thanks for the ideas. I'll keep them in mind if I am forced to play dirty in order to make her go away. Actually I teasingly told her I was going to get some goats, too and she informed me (laughingly) that if I did she was selling out and moving. He, he, he! He who laughs last laughs best!

 

[Anonymous Poster]

Patrick, I had an uncle that had a neighbor like yours....The circumstances were about the same. In the end, my uncle's house was burned down. It was arson, but they never could prove that it was his neighbor that started the fire.

In Mississippi, you can claim property as your own if you maintain it for 7 years and show proof of maintaining it.

 

[dgood1]

Chris,

If you want to drive her crazy. Put up a large sign announcing the "future CS hog farm".

 

[patrickg]

Chris, I'm glad you appreciate my HUMOR?

He, he, he! He
who laughs last laughs best!

Not to be a BAD guy BUT... It has been my experience that he who laughs last was slow catching on/getting it!

If you need any other harmless pranks, let me know, I seem to be able to whupemup fastern buttermilk bisquits.

Patrick