My obituary...

[Sigarms]

 

[bmaverick]

So sorry you are dying, hope you do make it to the heaven gate. At least you can look back on your life and realize you had it better than others and worse than others.

 

[Sigarms]

So sorry you are dying, hope you do make it to the heaven gate.

We are all dying once we are born.

The post was supposed to be humerous, as at this moment I might have 30 years left give or take per the average age of death. The medical profession hasn't found any issues with my body as of yet (and that could change yearly LOL).

My wife put a "locator" in my wallet so she could find it when I couldn't (her hearing is great, my sucks without my hearing aids).

If my wife had a dollar for everytime I asked "where are my key" or "where is my wallet" she would be a billionaire.

After 20 years, she just kind of shrugs her shoulders and says she doen't know and lets me look for them becuase she's tired of it

 

[bmaverick]

We are all dying once we are born.

The post was supposed to be humerous, as at this moment I might have 30 years left give or take per the average age of death. The medical profession hasn't found any issues with my body as of yet (and that could change yearly LOL).

My wife put a "locator" in my wallet so she could find it when I couldn't (her hearing is great, my sucks without my hearing aids).

If my wife had a dollar for everytime I asked "where are my key" or "where is my wallet" she would be a billionaire.

After 20 years, she just kind of shrugs her shoulders and says she doen't know and lets me look for them becuase she's tired of it

glad this wasn't a real notice of death coming soon then.

Truckers use a wallet chain. Maybe invest in one of those.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

My wallet is either back pocket or table by my chair.
Simple force of habit.
Readers I have 50++ pair. Dollar store I scattered a pair or two everywhere. Then I have a 24 box of real glass readers, carry one in pocket.

 

[scootr]

We are all dying once we are born.

The post was supposed to be humerous, as at this moment I might have 30 years left give or take per the average age of death. The medical profession hasn't found any issues with my body as of yet (and that could change yearly LOL).

My wife put a "locator" in my wallet so she could find it when I couldn't (her hearing is great, my sucks without my hearing aids).

If my wife had a dollar for everytime I asked "where are my key" or "where is my wallet" she would be a billionaire.

After 20 years, she just kind of shrugs her shoulders and says she doen't know and lets me look for them becuase she's tired of it

A man continually asked his wife where is my wallet? Where are my keys? Where are my boots? .. and so on for several years.
Finally fed up one day she replied. What makes you think the uterus is a tracking device!?

 

[bdhsfz6]

 

[California]

"Hold my beer and watch this!" is pretty popular too.

View attachment 847763

 

[Have tractor did travel]

This seems about as good a place as any to post this.
This past spring I had quadruple by-pass surgery At 79, it was a scary event, so started checking into permits and possibilities.
1. Can be buried on the farm Just needs be in a "cemetery" with fence around.
2. Do not need be cremated
3. Got plans and wood for a coffin - 2 of them, about $250
4. Bought 2 body bags $20
5. Bought a hard plastic body transport carrier - about $90. This is to haul me from the fields. Don't want the wife to see me dumped in the front end loader. The body transport can be slid along the grass, behind the RTV or one of the tractors.
6. Hired hand and 2 neighbors have been instructed if hauled from the field, to do it with some decorum. Don't want to upset the wife.
7. Body bag me and directly into coffin. No changing of clothes, no viewing of body.
8. We live in an old farm house, so things inside are a bit confined. So, place coffin on saw horses outside, next to the grave, where the ceremony will be held. Let's hope it's not cold.
9. One of the three men mentioned above to call others from a list I've prepared. Notify of ceremony next day.
10. Distant relatives have been told not to bother. See me when alive, not when I'm dead.
11. All material, including ratchet straps (to strap me to the body carrier), ropes to lower me into the grave, saw horses, etc. are in the hay loft (out of the way), just awaiting the need.
My expectation is this will be a burial, much like might have been had in the west in the late 1800's, in areas "not civilized". No preacher, no funeral home. A few good words (I hope) said by friends and neighbors, and I might write a few words to be read by one of the attendees.
Comments ?

 

[Sigarms]

This seems about as good a place as any to post this.
This past spring I had quadruple by-pass surgery At 79, it was a scary event, so started checking into permits and possibilities.
1. Can be buried on the farm Just needs be in a "cemetery" with fence around.
2. Do not need be cremated
3. Got plans and wood for a coffin - 2 of them, about $250
4. Bought 2 body bags $20
5. Bought a hard plastic body transport carrier - about $90. This is to haul me from the fields. Don't want the wife to see me dumped in the front end loader. The body transport can be slid along the grass, behind the RTV or one of the tractors.
6. Hired hand and 2 neighbors have been instructed if hauled from the field, to do it with some decorum. Don't want to upset the wife.
7. Body bag me and directly into coffin. No changing of clothes, no viewing of body.
8. We live in an old farm house, so things inside are a bit confined. So, place coffin on saw horses outside, next to the grave, where the ceremony will be held. Let's hope it's not cold.
9. One of the three men mentioned above to call others from a list I've prepared. Notify of ceremony next day.
10. Distant relatives have been told not to bother. See me when alive, not when I'm dead.
11. All material, including ratchet straps (to strap me to the body carrier), ropes to lower me into the grave, saw horses, etc. are in the hay loft (out of the way), just awaiting the need.
My expectation is this will be a burial, much like might have been had in the west in the late 1800's, in areas "not civilized". No preacher, no funeral home. A few good words (I hope) said by friends and neighbors, and I might write a few words to be read by one of the attendees.
Comments ?

Honestly, well laid out IMO

Thoughtful loving husband ensuring your wife doesn't have to worry about it is what I thought when I read what you wrote.

In my life I've seen way too many people afraid to talk about death IMO.

With both my mother and father, I consider myself blessed because we talked about what THEY wanted when they were gone when they both knew the time was coming.

My wife was elected to be the executor of her aunts estate because her two grown boys don't want to talk about it which boggles my mind.

One thing that makes me really think is if I really want to write my own obituary. Saw that comic in todays paper and thought my wife would agree it fits me to a"t" with the keys and wallet. Don't know if anyone has every used a comic strip for their obituary

 

[newbury]

Comments ?

Have them truly make sure you are dead before bagging you. Probably need a doctor for a death certificate.

 

[tacticalturnip]

Comments ?

You've got it down packed, and that's awesome. I'm looking to be burned and mixed in with a tree.

 

[Sigarms]

A man continually asked his wife where is my wallet? Where are my keys? Where are my boots? .. and so on for several years.
Finally fed up one day she replied. What makes you think the uterus is a tracking device!?

In all seriousness, my wife put a airtag in my wallet.

I can't hear it, but she can LMAO She also dosen't even help me to look anymore, go figure...

That said, never actually lost anything outside of our home or property, just shows up in the garage, office, kitchen, bedroom or closet sooner or later.

 

[MAX-24-Dean]

In all seriousness, my wife put a airtag in my wallet.

I can't hear it, but she can LMAO She also dosen't even help me to look anymore, go figure...

That said, never actually lost anything outside of our home or property, just shows up in the garage, office, kitchen, bedroom or closet sooner or later.

I think the wife might be messing with you, moving things around to all those locations! She must have a great sense of humor.

 

[MAX-24-Dean]

This seems about as good a place as any to post this.
This past spring I had quadruple by-pass surgery At 79, it was a scary event, so started checking into permits and possibilities.
1. Can be buried on the farm Just needs be in a "cemetery" with fence around.
2. Do not need be cremated
3. Got plans and wood for a coffin - 2 of them, about $250
4. Bought 2 body bags $20
5. Bought a hard plastic body transport carrier - about $90. This is to haul me from the fields. Don't want the wife to see me dumped in the front end loader. The body transport can be slid along the grass, behind the RTV or one of the tractors.
6. Hired hand and 2 neighbors have been instructed if hauled from the field, to do it with some decorum. Don't want to upset the wife.
7. Body bag me and directly into coffin. No changing of clothes, no viewing of body.
8. We live in an old farm house, so things inside are a bit confined. So, place coffin on saw horses outside, next to the grave, where the ceremony will be held. Let's hope it's not cold.
9. One of the three men mentioned above to call others from a list I've prepared. Notify of ceremony next day.
10. Distant relatives have been told not to bother. See me when alive, not when I'm dead.
11. All material, including ratchet straps (to strap me to the body carrier), ropes to lower me into the grave, saw horses, etc. are in the hay loft (out of the way), just awaiting the need.
My expectation is this will be a burial, much like might have been had in the west in the late 1800's, in areas "not civilized". No preacher, no funeral home. A few good words (I hope) said by friends and neighbors, and I might write a few words to be read by one of the attendees.
Comments ?

Similiar list here.
We joke about me digging my own hole with the backoe and my wife just rolling me in after the coroner pronounces I am deceased. Some people find this morbid, but we talk about getting older all the time and the destination is a heavenly final place of peace and worshiping Jesus.

 

[Hay Dude]

This seems about as good a place as any to post this.
This past spring I had quadruple by-pass surgery At 79, it was a scary event, so started checking into permits and possibilities.
1. Can be buried on the farm Just needs be in a "cemetery" with fence around.
2. Do not need be cremated
3. Got plans and wood for a coffin - 2 of them, about $250
4. Bought 2 body bags $20
5. Bought a hard plastic body transport carrier - about $90. This is to haul me from the fields. Don't want the wife to see me dumped in the front end loader. The body transport can be slid along the grass, behind the RTV or one of the tractors.
6. Hired hand and 2 neighbors have been instructed if hauled from the field, to do it with some decorum. Don't want to upset the wife.
7. Body bag me and directly into coffin. No changing of clothes, no viewing of body.
8. We live in an old farm house, so things inside are a bit confined. So, place coffin on saw horses outside, next to the grave, where the ceremony will be held. Let's hope it's not cold.
9. One of the three men mentioned above to call others from a list I've prepared. Notify of ceremony next day.
10. Distant relatives have been told not to bother. See me when alive, not when I'm dead.
11. All material, including ratchet straps (to strap me to the body carrier), ropes to lower me into the grave, saw horses, etc. are in the hay loft (out of the way), just awaiting the need.
My expectation is this will be a burial, much like might have been had in the west in the late 1800's, in areas "not civilized". No preacher, no funeral home. A few good words (I hope) said by friends and neighbors, and I might write a few words to be read by one of the attendees.
Comments ?

Man that’s a well planned and inspiring plan, albeit a bit morose-BUT I understand you feeling your mortality, too.
Great to hear your quadruple by-pass surgery was successful. Hopefully you have MANY years to go before your plan has to be used.

 

[Hay Dude]

Similiar list here.
We joke about me digging my own hole with the backoe and my wife just rolling me in after the coroner pronounces I am deceased. Some people find this morbid, but we talk about getting older all the time and the destination is a heavenly final place of peace and worshiping Jesus.

AMEN!

 

[3Ts]

I've gone a little further than that. I have a list of things the executor will need to know, like bank account numbers, life insurance, deeds & title locations, and people to contact and their phone numbers. It will make it easier for the executor so they don't have to search for all the information the government will want.

And it needs to be kept updated.

 

[lman]

This seems about as good a place as any to post this.
This past spring I had quadruple by-pass surgery At 79, it was a scary event, so started checking into permits and possibilities.
1. Can be buried on the farm Just needs be in a "cemetery" with fence around.
2. Do not need be cremated
3. Got plans and wood for a coffin - 2 of them, about $250
4. Bought 2 body bags $20
5. Bought a hard plastic body transport carrier - about $90. This is to haul me from the fields. Don't want the wife to see me dumped in the front end loader. The body transport can be slid along the grass, behind the RTV or one of the tractors.
6. Hired hand and 2 neighbors have been instructed if hauled from the field, to do it with some decorum. Don't want to upset the wife.
7. Body bag me and directly into coffin. No changing of clothes, no viewing of body.
8. We live in an old farm house, so things inside are a bit confined. So, place coffin on saw horses outside, next to the grave, where the ceremony will be held. Let's hope it's not cold.
9. One of the three men mentioned above to call others from a list I've prepared. Notify of ceremony next day.
10. Distant relatives have been told not to bother. See me when alive, not when I'm dead.
11. All material, including ratchet straps (to strap me to the body carrier), ropes to lower me into the grave, saw horses, etc. are in the hay loft (out of the way), just awaiting the need.
My expectation is this will be a burial, much like might have been had in the west in the late 1800's, in areas "not civilized". No preacher, no funeral home. A few good words (I hope) said by friends and neighbors, and I might write a few words to be read by one of the attendees.
Comments ?

I didn't see any mention of contacting the Coroner. Your wife is going to need some death certificates and that ain't happening without Coroner notification. Our Coroner would probably be lost with your requests.