No Cable/Satellite TV! Am I the only one left???

DocHeb · Sep 27, 2004

Sounds like how I was raised. We could watch 1/2 hour after shool (decompression time), then it was activities/sports/playing outside/scouts/etc. No TV on schoolnights (except for Charlie Brown specials and the yearly Wizard of Oz showing), and limited weekend viewing.

The comment was implied by another poster above that you need to give kids what they want to make them like you (or at least have a good relationship with them). That's a bunch of bologna. There is nothing redeming about 95% of the TV shows - even the Disney channel is getting trashy at times. Stick to your morals and beliefs - do things with your kids - stay involved - that's the best recipe.

My three kids are/were limited as yours are. Limited time, only one TV in the house so we know what's on, no "COPS", MTV, Reality shows, network news, or other showings of the dregs of society. Kids adapt well, and their brain is better for it.

The definition of "Parent" in the children's dictionary probably includes the word "mean", but I can live with that label.

Gary_in_Indiana · Sep 27, 2004

I have a friend who has avoided going with a dish system and is out of the cable service area. She refers to her viewing options as "The Farmer Five" as she gets ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and PBS.

She and her now-adult children seem normal enough and seem to have a wider range of interests and skillsets than most of their peers. I'd rate that a small price to pay for not being able to disect the latest version of 'The OC' with her classmates.

AndyM · Sep 27, 2004

Yup, they still sell those antennas at Radio Shack! And I am on the neighborhood architectural control committee so I approved my own rooftop antenna years ago. Then I changed the rules to elminate them and "grandfathered" mine in so it can be replaced if damaged! 

I bought our rooftop antenna at Lowes. I didn't want to put a rooftop antenna on the roof, because it looks so darn ugly, so I did the next best thing...

I get stations from Youngstown, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh, and the best part is it's free! I've probably watching less than two hours of television in the past month. If we had children, they would be feeling the same way as your daughter. Take a stand, and you'll be glad you did!
Television=BAD
TBN=GOOD /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Seriously though, many of our friends with children don't even have antennaes hooked to their televisions. They only use it to watch an occasional movie every now and then.

Just think about how the television rules our lives, right down to the way you rearrange the furniture in your living room around it so everyone has a clear view of the television! In the old days the furniture was arranged so everyone had a clear view of one another!

DannyD · Sep 27, 2004

Use TV time as a reward for doing homework or other social or personal accomplishments, but give the kid some kid TV. This is extreme, but I have a nephew serving 7 to 10 years in federal prison, he was denied anything not related to what his silly parents wanted him to be.........a preacher, evangelist, savior of the world. When the boy got out, he never finished his home schooling, he went wild. Has like 3 kids with 3 differing mothers, one of them while married to his current wife, who says that God will kill her for divorcing him, and she wants to have his kids. Oh he is in prison for child abuse, one of his own at that.

My point is the boy never learned any social skills outside of his crazy mixed up home. His parents are the same, his mom cheated on her 3rd husband then told him if he divorced her, God would kill him...........like mom like dil.

Give them some TV that is wholesome, good for them, teaches them good, and lets them know that there are bad things out there waiting to take them in and ruin them.

Oh and get them some digital/satellite/cable something. Do you want them to see it at thier friends homes when you can NOT watch with them.

DocHeb · Sep 27, 2004

Your nephew is an example showing "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Bob Skurka's situation isn't even close.

( Do you want them to see it at thier friends homes when you can NOT watch with them. )

That fits in with the poor logic of letting the kid shoot the massive handgun with you because it might be too tempting and he will do it with his friends; or drink alcohol, or teenage sex, or any other temptation. The important thing is to discuss why the TV decisions are made. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibilities of setting a proper moral environment - it's easier to just let them do what they want, but it isn't right.

Bob_Skurka · Sep 27, 2004

Use TV time as a reward for doing homework or other social or personal accomplishments, but give the kid some kid TV. 

First, I would really have to disagree with using TV as a reward. It is just my opinion, but doesn't that send a message that TV is actually a "good" thing? Good enough that you have to work to get it? Isn't family time a better thing? Personally I'd rather my child actively play with her friend to learn social skills that have the 2 of them sit in front of the tube silently watching life on a 27" box.

But that said, I think I must be presenting the wrong impression about TV to some of you. While we do have a WEEKDAY limit of 1 hour, I did write that we ease that restriction on the weekends. But I also wrote that she often doesn't even have time to watch TV because of her activities. I won't recap them all, but we will eat dinner tonight at about 7pm because that is when she should be home from Violin lessons, and she has probably been busy with homework this afternoon and may have had a friend over for an hour too. She keeps busy most every day. Tuesday she has horse riding lessons. Wed & Thurs (and sometimes some other days) she is swimming competitively and has won several dozen ribbons, a couple trophies and medals. And she has many other things that occupy her time. So there are many nights when she doesn't even have a full hour in the evening before she has to go to bed.

On the weekends she probably would rather watch a Disney movie instead of watching TV. I know the difference between stuffing something in the VCR and watching broadcast TV is splitting hairs, but she may watch a couple movies and a couple TV shows the whole weekend. This weekend I think she watched 1 video and about 15 minutes of TV. That was because she had other things to occupy her time . . . a friend visiting . . . bike riding . . . walking the dogs . . . playing in her playhouse . . . playing dolls . . . tending to her garden . . . playing a few board games . . . reading 3 books with me last night . . . doing her chores . . . having a picnic . . .

By the way, she is welcome to watch TV at her friends homes, we know that some of her friends watch LOTS of TV and some watch moderate amounts, none are as limiting as we are. We don't suggest to her that she cannot watch at their homes. But most of the time her friends end up at our home and they seem to like it. So I guess they don't feel to deprived when they come here? And we had 2 over all day Saturday, one spent the night and the other wanted to but her family had plans that included her so they picked her up at 8pm. Never once did any of them say, "Hey, let's stop playing and watch TV." By the way, we have 4 TVs in our home. They could have flipped one on. They chose not to, we think because we create an enviornment where they have better choices than to turn on a box.

And I will readily admit that last night I would have rather watched TV than read books with my daughter, but since she wanted to read I think it was the better choice. So there are times when I'd like to vegitate but I don't.

And for what it is worth, we don't have any video games either, we do have some computer games (she RARELY plays them).

khd · Sep 27, 2004

I don't think it's whether or not TV is available it is what you do with it. When I was a kid it was out the door at first light and didn't come home till dinner time....then to bed which in the summer time was still 8:00 and light outside but that didn't matter to my parents. But then again we could go anywhere and parents didn't have to worry about "strangers" , "drive by shootings" and the like.

I think we have taken alot from our children by not providing them with a society that breeds creative, intuitive, physical and intellectual activity in a safe and worry free environment.

Truthfully....I think the problem with most kids today is those silly little helmets we make them wear. A kid has to bonk the noggin a few times to make everything fall into it's proper place.

Be responsible, caring, attentive and provide an avenues to spark the curiosity and it won't matter if you have cable TV or not.

Just my thoughts.

Regards,
Kevin

Golfgar4 · Sep 27, 2004

( but I do admit to questioning our judgement every now and again as we have become the 'nutcases' who don't have cable so there must be something 'wrong' with us.
)

Hang in there Bob. It's always hard being the odd person out,

going against the grain,

swimming upstream,

turning the other cheek,

playing by your own rules,

setting the example,

doing the right thing,

and.....

oh, you get the idea. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

In a few years, the people that are now calling you a nutcase will, in all likelihood, be talking about how they wished they would have done some of the same things that Skurka fellow did. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

rockyridgefarm · Sep 27, 2004

bob, I commend you! We HAD satelite tv, but it was just the basic offering. After a few months, they had seen everything twice. We turned it off, and it sure isn't missed! You know that when it comes down to it, her life will be far more enriched than the kids who can only swap Simpsons trivia....

PhilNH5 · Sep 27, 2004

Bob,
We raised our kid pretty much the same way. Starting in second grade we made a "no TV on school nights" rule.It applied to us parents as well as to Amy. So we got in the habit of not watching TV. Amy did like the old Friday night line up off kid freindly shows but that was all she watched.

Amy is now 17 and a pretty good kid /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif She only twice ever complained about no TV. When we lived in MD the O's were in the playoffs on a Sunday. At school on Monday every body was talking about the big game. That night Amy asked why didn't we watch the game? That Sunday had been a particulary good family day. We started with a big cooked breakfast. then we rode our bicycles into town and picked up donuts. After lunch we went kayaking and wrapped up the day with a bird watching walk through the woods. I explained to Amy that if we watched the game we would have not been able to do all that fun stuff. She accepted that.

Then when we moved to NH she was in fifth grade. She felt out of touch 'cause the kids all talked about TV shows that she never even heard off. By this point in our lives we had pretty much stopped watching TV altogether. We had rabbit ears and only recieved 1 channel - two if it rained. But I told Amy that even if we watched TV I would not allow her to watch the shows the kids were talking about as the shows were all mature.

We do a lot of family activities. She helps a lot with the yard chores. We read together aloud as a family. Right now she is writing a book report about The Scarlett Letter. Playing on the stereo is some classical flute music that she selected. Now that she is in high school all the activities keep her busy.

Amy has adopted a good attitude. In eight grade we were out and Amy had her basketball practice jersey on. A women started talking to us. The women coached college women's b-ball. She asked if Amy saw a certain game from the WBA. (I did not even know there was a pro women's b-ball league). Amy said she did not watch the game. The lady coach asked why not. Amy said I would match rather have fun playing ball myself than watch someone else having all the fun playing. I was impressed!

This past christmas I got basic cable with my high speed internet connection. It just proves the Springsteen song of "57 channels and there's nothing on".

I'veread enough of your posts to make a prediction - your kid will turn out fine!

Phil