I agree it's confusing. I had the farm backbone rewired - was ovehead #8 wires installed in the 1950's. Went to 3 underground wires, a 350 foot branch, a 400 foot branch with 2 100 foot spurs, and a 100 foot branch to the house. The transformer/ meter/ main box is in the middle of the yard. They set up 200 amps to most locations, with 60 amp to each building (11 of them) along the way.
Because of ag exemption, I could do the 3 wire, ground at each building. Three of the buildings have metal water pipes connectiong; didn't matter. That was all cool in my location, my setup with the central meter pole, my farm setup.
And so on.
Pro electricians set it up & did it; county inspector came 3 months later & looked at the main panel & 3 buildings, said it all passed, & put my sticker on the main panel. Good to go.
Basically you need to follow whatever code is in the books in your county, and make your local inspector happy - they might have their own ineterpitation of the code sometimes.... Local electrical people will likely get along with the inspector real well as in my case, and things will be bried & easy. Outsiders or self-done work will take a lot closer inspection and thought to get an ok......
The 4 wire deal is a new thing. Back in the 1950's, delivering electricity was the goal. Now a days a lot of safety is more of a deal. The ground wire/ circut is there ti bleed off electricity quickly; make fuses or breakers snap _right_ away, and allow the new fangled ground fault type equipment to work. It is best to have a wire going all the way around the whole electrical system that does nothing but ground any metal off to ground. And if it is grounded in several places, it can confuse that fancy equipment & create it's own backwards loops of electricy. So - it needs to be installed correctly, and not confused with the neutral wire.
--->Paul