Teenage Son Advice

[Pixguy]

Lots of great advise here and I agree with most.

My kids are 29 and 32 and the only thing I tried to do that I hadn't read from others is to be sure to tell them that you're proud of them when they do right. Deep down they want our approval and my kids always seemed to appreciate the shout out.

Good luck and trust in the foundation you've given him.

 

[dodge man]

Funny, my son is 20 now and he did come with an owners manual, he burned it when he was 16. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE READ AHEAD. He seems to be doing OK but a little lost with no purpose or ambitions. Probably the same worries my parents had

 

[Coyote machine]

Funny, my son is 20 now and he did come with an owners, he burned when he was 16. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE READ AHEAD. He seems to be doing OK but a little lost with no purpose or ambitions. Probably the same worries my parents had

He told me he digs FORDs only and he's going to get a New Holland 'cause they're the best.

 

[arrow]

I got involved with "wayward" high school age kids after i retired from my first career. I also went through school as an A.D.D kid but back then , it was never diagnosed. You were just considered a "dummy". I knew I wasn't and why I was motivated to help others. At any rate, most of your sons current actions are as a result of feeling "inadequate". Very often no amount of praise helps in a situation such as this and instead, the immediate gratification of hanging with "undesirables" stems from being accepted from the outside world. It is a lot easier to feeling accepted from people who have traits that demonstrate "imperfection" than living up to standards (either coming from home or the outside world) that one is afraid of failing with. I used to take my kids to elementary schools to help the little "rug rats" with their own problems. This was a very successful program as it gave the HS kids a feeling of "worth" as someone was looking up to them and depending on them. I'm not gonna say it worked all the time but it certainly helped quite a bit. People with a sense of "worth" usually discontinue those practices that would detract from that.
This is why verbal praise doesn't work and sometimes, hurts rather than helps. The individual needs to see for themselves that they can "contribute" and this is the key. The aspect of your son having success as an electrician may not be doing it for him as he may be looking at it as a "substitute" for what he feels he can't really accomplish. It's making him internally angry and he gets comfort hanging out with other "angry and hurt" kids.
A few times I dealt with kids who were purposely "punishing" their parents for whatever reasons. Please do not consider that sentence as an indictment in any fashion but merely an observation to the myriad of "reasons" kids do what they do.

 

[Kyle_in_Tex]

I think the 2 most important things are:
Keep them involved at the church.
and
Regulate who they hang out with.

 

[kevin37b]

I have a grandson that is not the bestin school . But he is the hardest working snow shoveler , lawn mower guy , and I love him . His brother not so much on the work side of activities , but I love him the same . These kids are watching you and they will evaluate what you are doing . If he is hanging out with the wrong crowd , he will get a ride home in a police car one of these days . Just love him and hope it works . Just trying to help , show him these posts .