The lighter side of police work

[Bird]

On one case in Dallas, many years ago, a defense attorney was, of course, seated at the defense table with a man that everyone thought was the defendant sitting beside him. The defense attorney was cross examining the arresting officer, and asked if he saw the defendant in the room. The officer answered, "Yes sir." So the defense attorney asked the officer to point out the defendant, and the officer said, "That's him sitting on the back row of the room." The officer was right, and the judge reprimanded the attorney for trying that trick.

Something I think I may have posted long ago on TBN was that when I was a sergeant in the burglary and theft unit, one day officers brought in a shoplifter; a rather large black lady who had been seen putting a number of things in her purse in a grocery store, and walked out with them. While the officers were doing their paperwork, one of the detectives noticed a little blood running down the inside of one of the suspect's legs. So he got a female officer to get some kotex and take the prisoner to a restroom. When they came back, the female officer was carrying a large ham that the suspect had been concealing between her legs.

 

[Fuddy1952]

Ham in mammas oven.

 

[ning]

More than half of all gun homicides in the US are suicides

Thank goodness suicides are non-violent and don't contribute to the gun violence statistics!

 

[atsah]

Thank goodness suicides are non-violent and don't contribute to the gun violence statistics!

Maybe you missed post #47, Good luck with your agenda in the politics section..

 

[TheFarmerInAdell]

A retired officer I know had a good one. He was at a medical call and arrived before the EMTs. It was an older gentleman sitting on the toilet in the middle of #2 business. Officer ask "what's the trouble?" The old man replied "It's stuck! Just give it a pull!" And the officer's response: "Uh, we're not allowed to do that anymore..."

Another one he had was a call to 2 1-legged people kicking each other. When the officers were getting ready to haul them in one of the suspects requested something be brought along. A fellow officer (not too bright) asked "Why do you need that lamp?" The suspect: "That's my leg..."

 

[Jstpssng]

I had a heavy foot back in my younger days, until I finally got tired of paying the fines. Yet I always felt that it was my fault for going to fast, and most officers were pretty decent guys. (Small town cops were often the exception, it seemed like they were on a power trip.)
I was working in New Hampshire, staying outside of Lancaster when the foreman woke me up one night with food poisoning and asked me to take him to the hospital.
After dropping him off all that I wanted to do is get a few more hours of sleep in, when the blue lights came on.
When he asked "Do you know what the speed limit is here?" All that I could say was "No I don't, but I guess that it isn't 65."
When I explained the circumstances to him he let me go with a warning.
I got stopped by the same officer three times in 6 months; the last two times in an F100 with straight pipes. The first two times I started talking with him and he let me go; the third time I was so POed at myself for getting stopped again that I let him write me a ticket.
Another time down in NH, I had just pulled out from a side road and sped up to match the speed of the car coming up behind me when the blues came on. This time it was a woman officer, and she asked if somebody had called me in earlier. It was February and I had been working across the road from a lake with a lot of summer camps and thought perhaps somebody had called my plate number in.
When she said something about me harassing my ex-girlfriend I said "H*** no, I'm just down here working for the week!" I'd never been there before, and haven't been there again.

 

[Bird]

I got a call one night, after midnight, of a woman screaming behind an apartment building. I found a car in the alley, driver's door open, engine running, a woman's clothes neatly folded in the seat, shoes sitting together in the floor. We finally found the nude woman hiding in the bushes/hedge along the alley. She said she'd stopped to help a man with car trouble and was giving him a ride home when he forced her into the alley and raped her. But she didn't want to go to the hospital for an exam. And we questioned her about a rapist allowing her to disrobe and neatly fold her clothes. She finally admitted that she and her husband had recently separated, he was living in the apartment behind which she had just ran, screaming. And she wanted him back, expected him to come running out to rescue her . . . . and he wasn't home that night.

 

[cqaigy2]

These are great. Keep them coming. :laughing:

 

[MossRoad]

My wife and I were coming home very late at night from Indianapolis. Probably around 1-2am. We were driving north on the hwy and the light in front of us changed. I didn't think I could stop safely in time without locking up the brakes, so I just continued at our current speed set on the cruise control. I'm certain I cleared the intersection before the yellow turned to red, however, about a mile down the road, here come the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.

So I pull over and the officer walks up. Why didn't you stop for that light back there? I told him I was already too far into it to stop safely, I thought I'd have to lock up the tires, there were no other car headlights at the intersection, aaaaannnndddddd..... I pointed over at my wife's very pregnant belly and told him I didn't want to slam my wife into the seat belt due to her condition.

He gave me the "Well, that seems pretty reasonable" face, checked the license and registration and off we went.

 

[MossRoad]

On the other side of things, I once took off out of a stoplight on my RD400 with wheely bars, cranked it up to 110 and promptly saw a cop car coming towards me in the other lanes. I slammed on the brakes and downshifted as fast as possible. I saw his lights come on before he even got to me, so I just pulled into a factory parking lot and waited for him to come back to me.

Officer: "You know how fast you were going?"

Me: "I don't know how fast you clocked me."

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me: "I don't know how fast I was going when you clocked me."

Officer: "You don't know how fast you were going?"

Me: "Not when you clocked me."

Officer: "OK. I got you at 62 in a 40 zone."

Me: "I won't argue with that."

Officer: "You won't argue with that, huh?"

Me: "Nope. That's probably pretty accurate. I have no problem with that. I was probably going that fast. I should pay better attention."

For some reason, to this day, I do not know why, he says he's gonna write me a ticket for only 10 over so it doesn't go as reckless driving against my record like 22 over would.

I was quite relieved and thanked him profusely.

In all seriousness, I can say without a doubt, that each and every time I have been "hassled" by the cops, I completely deserved it and brought it on myself. They weren't hassling me. I had a broken headlight. My license plate was not properly displayed. I was actually going over the speed limit. And I've only gotten two tickets. That one mentioned above, and one for 5 over in Michigan (OK, that one was kinda lame. The cops were on strike and doing a "job action" writing tickets for everything, including jaywalking, to get the public ticked off so they'd get better pay).

But when I was laying on my bathroom floor in and out of consciousness, who's the first person I see? The local cop telling me help is on the way. And when there's gunfire in my neighborhood, the cops are there within minutes. Car crash. Cops. Neighbor's with health problems. Cops. :thumbsup::thumbsup: