The lighter side of police work

[2LaneCruzer]

I've had a couple tickets that really pizzed me off; one was a speed trap in a small town and got stopped by Bubba just as I topped a hill where the speed limit sign was. I actually was hitting the brake slowing down when the lights came on. I kept my mouth shut and got a $90 ticket. This same town, a known speed trap, actually ticketed some police cadets.

The second one really burned my butt. I had a 1972 VW convertible, that had belonged to my daughter. She wrecked it, and we helped her buy a new car. Later on, I had the VW restored from top to bottom. It was new, inside and out, including engine, exhaust, wiring, etc. It had only been home a couple of days, when I decided to take it out for a run, just to keep the battery charged and make sure it was running OK. I hadn't gone a half a mile, when I met a city cop; he made a quick youey and on came the lights. Seems my inspection sticker had expired. I explained that it was a recently restored automobile, and that I hadn't gotten around to getting it inspected; not to worry, everything was new and working perfectly. Got a $50 dollar ticket any way. While I understand fully that he was legally correct, it seems to me that if a cop wanted to consider the equities and the fairness involved for one of the residents, he could have given me a warning instead of a ticket.

In another vein; someone very near and dear to me works for the Police Department. Seems they booked a couple of sisters into the jail one night, and they had some very odd names. One was named (phonetically) La-mon-Jalo, the other was O-ron-Jalo. Spelled: Lemonjello, and Orangejello. True story.

 

[Howling]

My eldest, shortly after getting license, got puled over for speeding. Officer gave talking to about speeding on back roads. Questioned him about who would be paying ticket (him or me). finally let him off with a warning. He did come home and tell me about it. Next day cruiser pulled in driveway. He was closing the loop and confirming my son had told me about getting caught speeding. He liked to direct kids in a better path before getting them in to the court system.

 

[turnkey4099]

I was en-route Florida to Washington D.C. entered a very steep downgrade and was stopped and ticketed 66 in a 60 - obviouse speed trap. About 15 cars pulled over, all 'out of state plates'. Cop shuts down the operation, says "follow me". About 2 miles up the road pulls into a grocery store at a 4-way stop. Enters store followed by us sheep, Countrer man pulls off his apron, pounds on the counter "Courts in Session" Came my turn "How to you plead" "Guilty your honor". Daddy raised some dumb kids but no stupid ones.

Also got a ticket in Canada just over the border en-route Kamloops B.C. "Speeding while passing". Reached Kamloops and took into the local court to pay "What idiot wrote this!!!?" I explained where, speed involved (not muchover posted) and clerk said he was sorry but I would have to pay it.

 

[bunyip]

Back in 1966 my uncle was teaching my aunt to drive and there were three of us in the back seat, I was 16 at the time with my two cousins who were 14 and 15.
We approached a traffic light in the city when it changed to amber and my uncle shouted 'accelerate', my aunt did and the light changed to red as she was crossing the intersection, about 100 yards up the road a motorcycle cop pulled alongside and flagged her over.
He got off his bike and delivered a five minute homily on the traffic rules and finished with 'and what do you do when a light turns amber', aunt dutifully replied 'stop'.
She took off and it was about two intersections later that the lights turned amber and she stood on the brakes almost putting us through the windscreen from the backseat, this was followed by a solid bump up the back, sitting on a motorbike that ran into us was a red faced cop, my uncle was shouting under his breath at us, stop laughing, don't keep looking at him.
That must have been the longest two minutes for that poor cop before the lights turned green again.

Same state a year or so later I was out with a friend and he had an old Ford Anglia about a late 40's model, the back went straight down and didn't have a boot (trunk) as such, the floor was rusted out and the exhaust leaked so there were planks on the floor so we didn't drag our feet on the road and the little oval rear window was removed so we didn't die from carbon monoxide poisoning.
We got pulled over just after dark as the cops used to check out young one for alcohol, they could be quite officious and these two were no exception and they ordered us out of the car, we got out and this big fat sergeant wandered around the car looking through the windows for any contraband, we were at the back of the car and he came around and in a relaxed manner stood at the rear, crossed his legs and went to lean on the window that was not there, his arm went straight through and he smacked the side of his head on the back of the car.\
Us two stood trying our absolute hardest trying not to laugh as he tried to recover from this position, that really was a challenge and was a bit like the roman soldier in 'Life of Brian' with the Biggus Dickus scene.

 

[Jstpssng]

A friend was telling about crossing the border into Canada with his wife and two young kids. Apparently it was just their "turn" to get checked out so they were pulled to the side. For some reason they asked his wife to empty her pocketbook out, and when she did there was a dried out leaf of some kind inside. At this point he said that things went south, they completely turned his car inside out but didn't find any contraband or other suspicious items.
I can't say whether they ever made it into Canada that night but it was long after the ordeal was over that his wife remembered one of the kids finding a 4 leaf clover, which is what was in her purse. Needless to say, they don't believe in the luck of the Irish.

 

[Dftodd]

On the other side of things, I once took off out of a stoplight on my RD400 with wheely bars, cranked it up to 110 and promptly saw a cop car coming towards me in the other lanes. I slammed on the brakes and downshifted as fast as possible. I saw his lights come on before he even got to me, so I just pulled into a factory parking lot and waited for him to come back to me.

Officer: "You know how fast you were going?"

Me: "I don't know how fast you clocked me."

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me: "I don't know how fast I was going when you clocked me."

Officer: "You don't know how fast you were going?"

Me: "Not when you clocked me."

Officer: "OK. I got you at 62 in a 40 zone."

Me: "I won't argue with that."

Officer: "You won't argue with that, huh?"

Me: "Nope. That's probably pretty accurate. I have no problem with that. I was probably going that fast. I should pay better attention."

For some reason, to this day, I do not know why, he says he's gonna write me a ticket for only 10 over so it doesn't go as reckless driving against my record like 22 over would.

I was quite relieved and thanked him profusely.

In all seriousness, I can say without a doubt, that each and every time I have been "hassled" by the cops, I completely deserved it and brought it on myself. They weren't hassling me. I had a broken headlight. My license plate was not properly displayed. I was actually going over the speed limit. And I've only gotten two tickets. That one mentioned above, and one for 5 over in Michigan (OK, that one was kinda lame. The cops were on strike and doing a "job action" writing tickets for everything, including jaywalking, to get the public ticked off so they'd get better pay).

But when I was laying on my bathroom floor in and out of consciousness, who's the first person I see? The local cop telling me help is on the way. And when there's gunfire in my neighborhood, the cops are there within minutes. Car crash. Cops. Neighbor's with health problems. Cops. :thumbsup::thumbsup:

I used to get harassed by one cop (local city cop). To the point where I explained the situation to my buddies dad who happened to be up there pretty high with the areas sheriffs department. The reason I was being harassed was because of my Identicle twin. He got caught with a trailer plate on his car, no registration what so ever. In that state, they used the same type tag for autos and trailers.

I worked night shift, and the cop was always parked on the same stretch of road. Which also happened to be the only stretch of road to reach where I lived. Was driving down the road one night, heading down a hill so the speed creeped just above the limit. Maybe 1 or 2 miles over. On come the blue lights, and a warning, same week, I'm driving same spot, I see him parked in his usual spot. Justhen one headlight goes out. Gives me a fix it ticket which cost $10 at the police department to get them to verify that it's been fixed. Then $10 bucks at the court house.

A brake light went out. I checked before leaving work to try and avoid being pulled over. Didnt have the tools with me to get to the bulb. Got another fix it ticket. 30 flipping times in 6 months I was pulled over. All nonsense and BS. The most memorable, I think it was number 29. A piece of the gasket for the trunk lid came loose and was flapping. At this point I was completely out of patience. Told him it must of come loose when I stuffed the body in the trunk He pulled a gun on that one

My buddies dad had a talk with his superior. Then gave me his superiors card with instructions to call him if I was stopped for nonsense again. Cop was told if I was stopped again and it wasn't legit (speeding, reckless driving, ect....) He would have charges filed against him.

 

[Tractor Seabee]

Back in my younger days (early 50s) I had a small business in a mountain town in AZ, lived in Scottsdale. The local sheriff deputy lived next door and we talked over the fence from time to time. Coming home one Friday night, actually early Sat morning I was running pretty fast down one of the then main roads in the area. The truck was whining pretty good. around noon that day Fred hollered over the fence "you awake". Poked my head over and he proceeded to dress me down; quote "How the **** fast were you going this morning out on Scottsdale Road, I had a traffic stop around an intersection out there and heard you coming a mile away, good thing I was busy or I would of had your ***." I said, you can't win them all." He said, "let's celebrate my loss and your gain with a beer. End of story. Times have changed.

Ron

 

[Garandman]

Thank goodness suicides are non-violent and don't contribute to the gun violence statistics!

Not the point.

Taking Massachusetts for example, more people commit suicide by hanging than guns. And many, many more people kill themselves by 菟oisoning (usually drug overdoses) than shooting and hanging combined. And in the poisoning category, only about 10% kill themselves per try, so per year there are over 6,000 attempted suicides by drug overdose, while guns, hanging and cutting usually succeed on first attempt.

Massachusetts had 250 deaths from guns last year. About one third were suicides. Most of the rest were gang related.

In that same period, over one thousand died in MA from opioid overdoses. But Massachusetts regulators continue to call for more gun laws, even though the gangsters using those guns have committed between 3-5 felonies to get the gun in the first place. They are not attacking the root causes of gang violence: poor schools, lack of economic opportunity, fractured families, distrust of police, etc.

 

[PILOON]

On my way home one evening I had the luck of having to follow behind a cruiser for 12 miles.
Solid white line all the way and the cruiser sitting at the 40 mph limit.
Very irritating it was to observe him blow each of the 6 stop signs en route, each of which would have earned me a citation had I done so.

By coincidence the next day I met the police chief and pointed out that his officers would be well advised to 'lead by good example' so to speak.

The chief tried to make the excuse that the LEO was probably on a call. I suggested that the lack of flashing lights and siren suggested otherwise.
Next question was what time and what day did this occur.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Blonde was speeding; got pulled over by a female officer who also happened to be blonde.

Officer: "Ok, let's see your driver's license"

She looks through her purse; fumbles around, and finally asks "What does it look like?"

Officer: "It's rectangular shaped, and has your picture on it."

Blonde continues searching, finds a small pocket mirror, and hands it to the officer.

Officer, looks at the mirror, and says "Oh, I didn't know you were a police officer. You're free to go, just watch your speed next time."