Thoughts on Sexual Harrasment...

[2LaneCruzer]

I first entered the corporate work force in 1964. At that time, the language was much more subdued, even among men. The first time I ever heard a vulgar word spoken in mixed company, in the workplace at least, it was during the feminist movement in the early seventies...and it was spoken by a woman. The first "proposition" in the workplace I am aware of was from a woman. It seemed the attitude was that anything a man can do, a woman can do better. Sexual harassment was something I never heard of then; the attitude was the women were able to take care of themselves if the actions were unwelcome.

After I took a position as legal counsel for a state agency, I was given the responsibility for the HR division, which included all of the discrimination complaints, including sexual harassment. Of those cases referred to me, most all of them were filed not because they were being discriminated against or harassed, but were filed to get back at someone or to protect themselves from a bad personnel review or a reprimand, or to save face. Of course anything you did after that could have been considered "retaliation", which was prohibited. It's easy to make an accusation, hard to disprove it, and the stigma never goes away.

 

[ultrarunner]

My first instance was holding the door open for a woman who let me have it... saying she was more than capable of opening her own door... I said not to worry as I wouldn't make that mistake again.

The mandatory training we had was all about what not to do and how to protect the company and each training started out with some astronomical amount paid out as a settlement for a harassment case...

Too bad the emphasis is on what not to do instead of what to do for a better workplace.

Now for a twist... the corp training film on being culturally sensitive is a minefield of things that can go wrong if you are not culturally aware.... even wishing someone Merry Christmas should be avoided and substituted with Happy Holidays.

One of our young nurses was in the lunch room telling other nurses about her wonderful weekends with her boyfriend... each week was another installment and often the most beautiful arrangements would arrive Monday every noon... really nice.

One of the male Docs made a comment about the flowers... saying she must have been very good or her boyfriend very bad... that statement in passing was enough for the Doc to be called in for sensitivity refresher...

Maybe Mike Pence has it right... never be in that position and take steps so it doesn't happen.

 

[Rock knocker]

P.S. It seems to me that in order to register someone as a sex offender, there should have been an adjudication to that effect. If I read your post correctly, charges may have been filed, but no action taken. If they pursue this, I would contact a good attorney; public officers can be sued you know, for doing things they are not entitled by law to do.

Yea, the dad needs a lawyer

 

[tcreeley]

I am a retired highschool teacher. There were many pretty students in the school, and staff people over the years. You simply trained yourself not to see, not to look, not to say anything, no extra smile or anything. The females were not looking for adult attention. Staff who could not "control" their behavior were moved along (fired, etc) out of the district.
Sexual harassment should not be tolerated anywhere. People can live and control themselves. I have no tolerance for these idiots who didn't control themselves, or who lacked the judgment to know what was the right and wrong thing to do.
What also makes me angry is that with our stupid politicians, taxpayer dollars were used to settle the harassment claims. Individuals should settle their own claims. Where public monies were used- those claims and names should be made public.

 

[EddieWalker]

From what I understand, a big percentage of people that are registered as sexual offenders are guys who where 18 to 19 years old who dated girls 16 and 17 years old, and her parents filed charges against him. Usually they went to High School together. Once filed, it can never be undone. I was 17 when I graduated High School and was one of the youngest in my class. I had several girlfriends that where 18. One of my best friends was held back in kindergarten and he was 19 when he graduated High School. His girlfriend was a year younger then him, so he was 18 and she was 17 their Junior year. It's been 35 years, so maybe it's time to start making accusations if any of them run for public office?

The second Gloria Allred gets involved in anything, I change my opinion to one of extreme skepticism. Now that we know her daughter is just as bad, and maybe worse, that will also affect my opinion on anybody making accusations. Sadly, it also makes it hard to believe anybody else involved in those accusations.

 

[downsizingnow48]

I am a retired highschool teacher. There were many pretty students in the school, and staff people over the years. You simply trained yourself not to see, not to look, not to say anything, no extra smile or anything. The females were not looking for adult attention. Staff who could not "control" their behavior were moved along (fired, etc) out of the district.
Sexual harassment should not be tolerated anywhere. People can live and control themselves. I have no tolerance for these idiots who didn't control themselves, or who lacked the judgment to know what was the right and wrong thing to do.
What also makes me angry is that with our stupid politicians, taxpayer dollars were used to settle the harassment claims. Individuals should settle their own claims. Where public monies were used- those claims and names should be made public.

Exactly right. I worked with women employees and supervisors at various times, it was not a mystery to me how to behave. Did not need "training" what I had was a sense of personal responsibility, respect for the other people, and standards. Gripes me that our politicians behave badly, then settle in secret using taxpayer money.

 

[ultrarunner]

Yea, the dad needs a lawyer

I went to his funeral this year... they took it all in stride... the officer said there is a court procedure to petition but he wasn't up to it... and it was not going to change his life.

At the service everyone got a chuckle when one of the nephews was speaking... said my uncle loved my aunt so much that not even the law could keep them apart... also said at a time when burning your draft card was popular or moving to Canada his uncle reported for duty knowing he had the love of the woman he loved...

Totally off topic... the retired couple I bought my home from was a 16 year old bride... she married a Colorado Springs Air force cadet... he was 18... the parents thought they should wait but they did give permission... traveled around a lot and had 55 year before Parkinson/Related took him...

Hard for me to imagine being married at 16 or at 18... heck... many I know don't get a driver's license until after their teen years...

 

[LouNY]

I am completely against actual sexual harassment, but so much of what is called sexual harassment has become plain and simple bull crap and I do believe that a great many of the accusations for 30 and 40 years ago are pure D lies and make up stories. I believe that a great many of these woman coming forward with these stories were more then willing participants when they thought it was an easy way for them to get ahead instead of actually being qualified.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Sometimes a passionate, consensual interlude becomes a rape the morning after if Mom and Dad find out.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I'm guessing it's maybe 50/50. Some surely valid, others not. A friends friend is an Elementary School Principle and he is just in the process of having his career ruined by some allegations. It's just not something that he would do. There should be extremely serious punishment for making false allegations, regardless of age, but that opens up a whole new can of worms. A legitimate complaint could be met with further punishment.

We had a science teacher in grade seven that we all made fun of, but especially the girls. He used to walk around the room talking, playing with his fly!