Todays Joke

[Scott_in_WVA]

Cstocks /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
Thats a keeper./w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

 

[wasabi]

<font color=blue> Anyone recall the actress, Natalie Wood? This was one of the last jokes, if not the last joke, she ever heard before drowning. I was sitting about 3 ft from her at an adjacent table when one of her party told this one shortly before she left the resturant to go back to the boat. </font color=blue>

Patrick....were you working on the Brainstorm movie set at that time?...just curious...a good friend of mine wrote the script.

 

[bgott]

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood

 

[patrickg]

Yeah, I popped that line on someone at a cookout in Baja. I muttered something to someone at the cookout about being there when they found out what wood wouldn't float, Natalie. Poor timing, at the time I didn't know the Mr. Wagner who was our gracious host was Robert Wagner's brother and had really taken Natalies death very hard. Luckily my comment which was in such poor tase for that venue was not overheard by our host who is guite a nice and fun guy (but a lousy dune buggy driver).

Patrick

Told to me as a true story, pretty humorous, true or not. Seems these two women on vacation with their husbands at a lake in Michigan (near Coldwater) would put on their bathing suits and sit on the dock soaking up rays and did a little fishing (displaying their lisc in plastic holders pinned to their bikini tops) while their husbands were gone in the boat, fishing. The game warden would note the lisc being displayed as he motored past, making his rounds. One day it was unseasonaby cool and they showed up with sweatshirts on and when the warden motored by they pulled their sweats up to reveal the lisc pinned to their bikini tops. One of the ladies commented, "I bet you really thought for a second there you were about to see something." To which the warden replied, "Yeah, and I bet our friend thought she was wearing her bikini top under her sweatshirt."

Patrick

 

[patrickg]

Wasabi, Kemosabi, No, I never got paid for any work I did for the movie buisness. I saw that movie, however, and liked it except for the overly sweet scene with the little angel winged thingies slowly winging their way... Other than that, pretty good stuff, didn't ruin it for me, still gave it a thumbs up overall. Good on your friend!

To be frank and honest I used to (and still do but less frequently) cook up scenarios and plot lines "just for fun", mental exercise. When I lived on my sailboat in San Diego before moving that boat to the yacht club, I lived onboard while at a commercial marina. There were, how do I say it without suffering the wrath of the PC police, two "girlie men" living down the dock from me a couple hundred feet. They were artsy craftsy writer types with Holyweird connections. As they were "an item" together in preperation for a world cruise on their boat and were not hitting on us straights, I was friendly toward them, giving preparation advice and so forth. On learning of their profession (writers) I tried a couple of my scenarios on them. One of them payed close attention and asked if I had the one in written form. I printed him out a copy. Later he gave me a cleaned up and professionalized one page synoptic version as a thankyou for my preperation advice.

Stand by to make a leap of faith or choose to disbelieve my veracity. Not so many years later I saw this movie, a SciFi number with the TV Star Trek cast in it. The plot line just happened to coincidently, innocently, and independently use nearly verbatim the scenario I had written. It was the humpback whale thing. The aquarium stuff and the whale being pregnant and the time travel and the StarTrek connection, and the "everyone remember where we parked", and the transparent aluminum etc. was above and beyond but the general premise regarding the alien's intended destruction of the earth due to its being void of humpback whales was, shall we say congruent, a vitrtual clone.

If their was an actual conection, and not just a really really improbably coincidence then I am flattered, not upset, flattered. If it was coincidence, I'm still flattered.

Patrick

P.S. The macho he man of the writer duo got cold feet and was afraid to go on the trip, just liked the idea of talking about it, not doing it. The other "guy" was looking for a crewperson when I left that marina when a suitable slip became available at the club. (I think this last part qualifies in some sense as a "joke."

 

[bgott]

One day this guy was dragged before a judge. He had been caught by a forest ranger eating a Bald Eagle that he had freshly cooked over a campfire. The judge, who was noticeably perturbed, demanded an explanation. The guy replied that, yes, he had ate the eagle but he had been lost in the woods for three days when the eagle dove after a squirrel and ran into a tree, killing itself. He figured that 1) he didn't kill it and 2) it would be a shame to let the bird go to waste, being he was starving and all. The judge looked at the woebegone individual in front of him and decided he deserved a break. After throwing out the charges he motioned for the guy to come to the bench. Leaning forward so no one else could hear their conversation he asked the guy " So, just for curiousities sake, what does a Bald Eagle taste like?" The guy replies " It tastes a little stronger than a Spotted Owl and not quite as strong as a California Condor."

 

[PitbullMidwest]

patrickg,

Your story reminds me of the annual volleyball tournament at Boy Scout camp. Bad taste seams to go hand in hand with teenage boys. Anyway, our Troop's team was known as the "Bangladash Cyclones" and we made it to the finals against "The Natalie Wood Swim Club". We lost in a best of 5 series. There were quite a few that strongly objected to our choice of names and when the results were published in the Council's newsletter our 2 teams were the only ones listed by troop number instead of name. /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[Scott_in_WVA]

I wonder how the guys foot tasted after he put it in his own mouth????/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[Fireman_dcb]

For your enjoyment - and for our fine friends from the South - remeber its just a joke!

How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."


An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says,"'Bout what?"

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

Have a great weekend!

Doug

 

[Scott_in_WVA]

You say it is a joke fireman?
Welcome to the club.
A joke and that is all /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif.
You should hear the jokes us West Virginians put up with....just laugh and give it back to them when you can.../w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif.