Okay...I was going to say that the last photo didn't look good. You may have less problems this way. Over the years I knew lots of people in your condition, some missing that same finger (one was dumb snowblower accident) and they adapted fine. good luck.
Spud wrench's are finger saving invaluable tools for lining up holes on steel projects. I knew a few retired iron workers missing digits.
Well, at least it makes it easier to rock on, dude!
Now how are ya gonna signal that the guy who just cut you off really should go first
I'll let Julie drive... then I can "fly the flag" out the passenger window...Now how are ya gonna signal that the guy who just cut you off really should go first
Well, your career as a bagpiper is over. Every note will now be F.
I also feel like Paul Sheldon from Misery… ‘cept instead of Paul’s missing “n”… I’m having a heck of a time figuring how I’m gonna get to “d” and “e” on my QWERTY keyboard…
| We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... but Dad always had those piece of **** chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please let me die .... Pleeeeaze . But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire .... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things: 1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted. 2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right). 3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think. 4 - My left eye will not open. 5 - My right eye will not close. 6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that. 7 - My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. 8 - I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???). That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow. |
I don't think any of us can top that. I do recall a picture of a guy in the ER with an arrow in his chest and his son clutching a bow. That could be a contender but in my book, we have a winner right here.Over the years my wife has driven me to the ER so many times. Here's a good one. I decided to put a Briggs motor on a bicycle. Top speed was about 65 mph...insane on a flimsy bicycle & no helmet. I had an ignition toggle switch for a "Jake brake".
First trial run I had the side cover off, started it, it was idling and I had a flat blade 6" shaft screwdriver I was going to adjust the carburetor with. BOOM! The screwdriver shaft hit the spinning flywheel fins which drove screwdriver into my right eye.
I shut motor off & pulled screwdriver out. Closed my good eye and looked at the sun. I was blind except sun I could see what looked like a purple curtain. I went to house "well...I did it now!" I said to wife. She grabbed a towel, drove me 80 mph to hospital flashers on, me holding a bloody towel over eye.
X-ray showed screwdriver went into my brain. (That's what's wrong with me) Doctors asked why I pulled it out? Just a reaction. All they could do was sew up the eyelid, sent me home with an eyepatch and pain meds. The screwdriver went through lid at top, rolling eyeball back.
Looking at it next day it was horrible, red and iris wasn't there. I went to a local eye center to be checked out and given drops of some sort. Then checking every few days the white part appeared, then after a few weeks something below which was the iris. Day by day the iris slowly moved around until finally it was back! Vision was blurry at first but cleared up! Back at the eye center they called me "the miracle guy". I'm 71, no cataracts and they said 20-20 vision. I do use reading glasses for close work, although I can read normal print ok.
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) Doctors asked why I pulled it out? Just a reaction. All they could do was sew up the eyelid, sent me home with an eyepatch and pain meds. The screwdriver went through lid at top, rolling eyeball back.