What to do with disabled friend!

[scaredychicken]

Thanks dodge man, one of my biggest challenges in parking lots is the width of parking spaces. I try to get a handicapped space, or an end space / reverse in, so that I can open up the door wide enough to get out without dinging doors. I can walk across a parking lot, but if I am sardined into the parking space, that's a problem. I do what I can, and I do know most of my limits - absolutely need a railing when I'm on stairs, (and because I'm a leftie, I am always going down stairs on the wrong side of foot traffic) ... who cares ? I have been in / out of wheelchairs, as I had to learn to walk 4x when I was growing up. My surgeon Dr told me when I was 12 that I'd be expected to be in a wheelchair by the time I was 30 yrs old - I said, nope ... I'm 58 yrs old now. LOL. Trying to avoid a wheelchair for the next 10 yrs, if I'm blessed with that option, so I gotta keep going. My tractor has been a real help in getting things done on the property.

 

[Topzide]

Scaredychicken, get yourself a couple hiking poles. They work well outside and have the height that adjusts to what you want. I use them when outside since I also walk with a cane. Like the fact that you can push tip in for balancing yourself. Find that it lays across the loader arms on tractor for easy access.

 

[JohnDeereJoey]

...I am seriously considering telling him that I won't carry him anymore unless he uses a walker. ...

RSKY

I agree with your concerns and commend you for helping this person.

That said, I'd suggests changing the messaging. At least for a long while, don't mention anything about no longer helping unless he uses a walker. Instead, change the message to "you're really concerned about his health and safety (it sounds like you really are) and believe he would be well served if he used assistive devices (such as the walker you mention). If he resists, be persistent. Increasingly as time passes bye. Consider seeking common friends, family members etc. to help reinforce your message.

 

[jaxs]

I hope it's only a case of your friend overestimating his ability and not vanity. I have a long time friend that suffered several serious injuries as the result of not using his head. I commend you for doing what you do for your friend and I wish you all the best in helping him make good decisions.

 

[RSKY]

Hi RSKY

This describes my daily struggle. I do not weigh that much though, and at 185 lbs, I am still very active and able. I do have a considerable amount of challenges with balance, stabillity, stairs, snow. I've had Cerebral Palsy since birth, and I probably fall / wipe out 4-5x weekly. Normally the only injury is to my pride, apart from a few scrapes ... . I use a cane in town, I use a shovel walking on the property (it's too long for the vehicle, but it is better support). I use shopping carts in stores, and try to avoid the store's mobility carts because I need to keep going and not take the easy way.
I'm almost in tears writing a response to your note.
I have friends that have uncertainty in their reactions when I fall, but usually I need a minute to figure out how to get up. Friends that know me well, just wait a few seconds, and then can help as I figure it out. I'm not too proud to use the offered help. At my average weight even, it is a dead-weight for others assisting me.
Send me a PM if you want more thoughts on how you might be able to best help your friend. I have lots of examples in my daily doings.

My friend passed out at work twenty years ago. He had a brain tumor that caused him to go into a coma. It was removed but from that day he passed out he has had challenges many of us do not face. The tumor had damaged the nerves from his brain to his eyes and while he sees okay straight ahead and to the right he has no peripheral vision to the left. He mowed his yard for years only turning right. Try that sometime and see how it works. He has started dragging his right foot when he walks, uses a cane on the right side. But he has a hard time getting his left foot out of my vehicle. I wonder if he has had a mini-stroke or something. And he has put on a hundred pounds over the past five years. His wife died a few years after the tumor and he had a live in girlfriend for years that passed away last year. So now he is alone.

This guy graduated a year earlier than us from the small high school my wife and I attended. He has been a friend for sixty years. We have many acquaintances/friends in common. While not actually kin to either of us he is in a category close to being kinfolk. We look out for him as much as we can. There are other neighbors that take him places too. I am not the only one. I am just closer, retired, and he has known me and my wife for the longest.

RSKY