When not to 'Mind Your Business':

[caddison]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

DAP,

I guess it is a moral call on your part and yours alone. I take the twins on the tractor for a ride but never while operating an implement behind it. Things can happen so fast and I just can't see taking a chance that would endanger the life of a child, but then I see kids riding standing up in the seat of a pickup and I want to cringe.

There are a lot of things you could do.....do what you feel is right.

 

[mundamanu]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

<font color="blue"> In Europe 1-3 kids die from enviormental pollution. I was reading this today. </font>

Source, please.

 

[DAP]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Update:

Now depending on my motiviations in life, I will interact with people whom I see doing incredibly brilliant things and also incredibly stupid things where I may have some skin in the game. Perhaps somewhat selfish, but I think not.

In this situation, I don't really have any obligation. This woman has a family, a husband, a home, etc. Whoever nominated me to become her guide to living her life as a quality consultant has erred.

I now take this stand for a couple of reasons. One, this family and mine are completely estranged, unknowns. I have no desire to befriend everyone who lives proximal to my homestead. That's not to say we live a hermit's life - we have many interactions with some of our neighbors (the 2 legged, 2 footed type).

Two, I have no real justification for what would be what I interpret, no matter how it is delivered, as an intrusion on that family's privacy. If she were to pop up over at my place one day and inform me that I should use a ventilator when I spray some sundries in my garage I would be appalled. This may not be the perfect analogy, but the spirit is basically the same.

Now I understand the opposing argument, the one that says people don't always do what's best for themselves. And to a degree, I agree - and that can lead to justifying some interventions. I just don't see this as one of them yet.

It's too easy to pick up a paper and continually read what other sensless, careless or ignorant people do with, to or at something or someone.

Now, if this person were to ask me what they thought about mowing with their children on their lap (as I have asked you actually), I would not hesitate to tell here what my opinion is. For the record, I think it's an unneccesary risk by the way.

So, hopefully they will not have an incident.

Naturally, this thread morphed into a parenting discussion. Times have changed since I was a child. Some people consider their childhoods to be 'transferable' to their own youngsters - by default. I happen to disagree with this. It's a different world - its much smaller, far more complicated and a much more dangerous one. Any denying that is buffoonery.

It's a tough job for parents, balancing between being an overprotectionist or a hazard to your own.

 

[cowboydoc]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

<font color="red">Some people consider their childhoods to be 'transferable' to their own youngsters - by default. I happen to disagree with this. It's a different world - its much smaller, far more complicated and a much more dangerous one. Any denying that is buffoonery.
</font>

I guess there are alot of buffoons then. The landscape, values, quality and way of life has not changed at all since I was a kid where I grew up. The world may have changed but there are still parts of the world that are still honest, hardworking, and good places to raise kids the old way. How you choose to accpet those challenges and prepare your children for the world is another matter altogether. I guess if being a buffoon means I am raising honest, hardworking, self-sufficient kids like my grandparents raised me then somebody better call Webster for a new definition. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Trev]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

From your first post:

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( I just want her to stop taking that infant on her lap when she mows.)</font>

And from your most recent:

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( In this situation, I don't really have any obligation...)</font>

... and ...

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( I have no real justification...)</font>

Sounds like you are wrestling with what most decent people wrestle with. It's kind of a complex blend of "What do I WANT to do", "What am I EXPECTED to do", "What would be the RIGHT THING to do", "What would I wish that someone else would do for ME in the same situation."

A classic example would be that you are a guy walking down the road and you come upon a two-year-old who's lost and crying for her mommy.

What most of us would probably *want* to do is befriend her, perhaps scoop her up, comfort her, ask her some questions, and figure out how to get her back to mommy.

Most of us are probably unsure (these days) as to what is *expected* of us at this point. We'll be accused of child molestation if we even look at her!

We probably would mostly agree on the *right thing* to do.. help the poor kid and her probably frantic mother, and then let the chips fall where they may. But we have to weigh the cost to us personally.. which is where it gets troubling.

I'm almost certain we'd mostly agree on what we would want others to do *for us* if we were in that same boat.

I'm not going to draw any profound conclusions (I can hear the sigh of relief /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif) but it seems to me this basic scenario is played out in multiple big and small ways most every day of our lives.

What do you guys think? Maybe I've been out in the sun too long. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[MossRoad]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Doc, you are a fortunate person to be able to live the way you do. And I know not all of it is fortune, you made most of it that way by the choices you have made in your life. I commend you! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif I don't think anyone is calling you a buffoon. What I read was that anyone that can't recognize the world is changing would be foolish.

You mentioned that the landscape, values, quality and way of life has not changed at all since you were a kid where you grew up. Glad that is the case in some places. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif It isn't that way here. /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif The whole place has changed... the landscape, values quality and way of life that I grew up with are not there anymore. The place where my grandmother grew up, "Way out in the country" is now 2 miles inside the city limits and is the hottest crime area in town. The place where I grew up, right on the edge of town, is now 1 mile inside the city limits and the property values are declining. It was a rural suburb. Now it is urban. The people that live there have a different set of values than I do and what I want my children to have.

Things change, we discover new things and learn that some things we did as a kid were dangerous and now we have the opportunity to let our kids do the same things, but in a safer manner, with better safety equipment, and more knowledge. Nothing wrong with letting them experience life in as safe a way as possible. They can't live in a glass bubble. They have to be able to ride a horse. They have to fall off once in a while. But you wouldn't let them learn in an unsafe environment as the pioneers did, would ya? As I mentioned once before a few years ago in a discussion on changing technology:

<font color="green"> "Some people want tried and true because it is a good design and they know it works well. However, that does not mean it will always be the best way to do something. People used to store food in lead cans because their parents and grandparents did. We now know that it causes brain damage. Now I'm not saying that owning a tractor that looks and operates like the same old tractor that your grandparents had will cause brain damage. But some day, sometime, somewhere a better design will come along and then grandpas tractor will be pulling floats in parades." </font>

I still think that is true. My dad tried to give me a better life than he had(and he certainly acheived that goal), but he did some increadibly dangerouse things with me that I would never do with my kids, or anybody else's kids, for that matter. He learned those bad safety habits from his dad. I don't know why I snapped the cycle, but I'm glad I'm not passing most of those habits on to my kids. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[DAP]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Moss .. you are way too kind.


/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[MossRoad]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Yeah, but I come across as an obnoxious know-it-all way too often. I wish I could talk to most of you in person, as I'm not a bad guy and my facial expressions tell more of the story than I can get across in print. Writing is such an art and I'm afraid I'll always be an amateur. That's why I gave up a career in English Literature for a career in industrial electronics, which turned into a career in computers. I have no problems conveying my exact thoughts to a computer. Especially when I POUND ON THE KEYBOARD!!! /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

I really don't know how my children have turned out so well. Must be the wife's influence countering mine. They get exposed to both sides of the force. The yin and the yang. The wife and I really are opposites.

To keep this on subject... I came home today and saw my neighbor riding her lawn tractor mowing the lawn with her 5 year old on her lap. They do this all the time. I have told her during a conversation regarding the little guy's love of tractors that it is extremely dangerous, but she just blew it off. At least I told her. I will feel awful for them if something happens, but I did all that I could. It is her child and her choice. She is aware of the dangers, but chooses to do what she does. Whatchagonnado! /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[YanmarFever]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

I consider myself to be a good tractor & mower operator,
12 years ago I flipped my riding mower over with a little boy on it.
I was on FLAT GROUND ! I hit a rolling basketball and the mower climbed over it shifting our weight & over it went
The little boy started climbing on me & I lost control, it was by the grace of God that the deck landed between us still spinning. To think that we could of been seriously hurt or killed
makes me think twice about taking any passengers on anything now.
Yes I would offer to watch the baby,or mow her lawn.
If she hurts the child next time she mows in an accident you will kick yourself for not saying anything
thats what good neighbors are for. <><

 

[DAP]

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Ernie ... twas fortunate that those events didn't get ugly. However, and with a complete understanding of your viewpoint, you are making one flawed assumption. That being that my saying something will change this individual's behavior. In fact, my odds say it won't.

At some point, we all have to realize that by default, we are responsible for ourselves. There is no police force out there that preempts or precludes any of us from making serious mistakes.