Wife and I have been debating what to do with our estate. Our greedy children don't deserve anything. Our civil children don't want anything. We have just about decided to leave everything to charity. We are thinking either Salvation Army or Habitat for Humanity.
The problem with wealth and what you leave people is no matter what, someone won’t be happy.
My grandpa has cancer, he only had 3-6 months left on this earth, his brother is older than he is and isn’t doing well with strokes and a broken hip in this past year. My Great uncle owns a 600 acre farm that he’s worked all his life, the original farmhouse was sold to my 3rd cousin and her husband, they will be the 4th generation living in that house.
My great great grandpa farmed 100 acres with horses, my dad tells stories of him being pissed at my Grandpa and his brother for using tractors and claimed they weren’t farming right lol. But the original farm house is still in the family and will be for another generation or two. You can walk threw the barns and see the tools my great grandpa used, the horse drawn equipment is still there further in than the modern tractors and machinery, a lot of history on that property.
I have seen what an inheritance will do to civil family, my 2nd cousins get mad at my great uncle because he spends money on things like a cabbed kubota UTV or restoring a 1964 Chrysler 300J he sold to my dad in the early 80s to have money for seed. My dad sold the car about 6 years ago and we were able to get it back and my uncle bought the car last year. Its in the shop now getting brought back up to road worthy condition. My great uncle bought the car new and told me about 4 years ago he regretted selling the car to my dad, so when I was offered to buy the car, I offered it to my great uncle instead since I didn’t have car restoration money. His kids have no interest in the car which is why they were upset he bought the car because they would inherit less lol. I thought that was absurd when I heard it.
I have tools in my barn and garage from my step grandpa still, he left me all his tools when he died 14 years ago, I was 10 or 12 years old at that time but I still remember him telling me that even know he has kids, he thought I would use and take care of his tools better than his own blood relatives. He was right, 14 or so years later I still use some of them and when I do, it brings back the memories of him. That taught me a lesson of inheritance. As my grandparents and parents age, I don’t care if they leave me cash but I would like a few things to remember them by.
One thing I hope to get from my grandpas estate will be his 1929 JD General Purpose, I have tried to restore it for him and he wouldn’t let me do it, I have tried to buy it from him and his price was too high. I have never brought it up after he was diagnosed with cancer because that would be kicking a man while he was down. If he doesn’t leave the tractor to me, I fully intend to pay my step grandma cash for it. That’s one item I will cherish and own for a very long time if I have the chance to buy it. That’s the only thing I really want to remember him by.
So if I was faced with leaving an estate, I would leave different things to people who would use them. My house would go to the most responsible kid, sibling, grand kid etc. even if they didn’t “need” the house I would ask they rent it out, let it generate an income, if they decide they don’t need the income, they could use it to fund grandchild’s education etc. the house later could be sold to a relative like my great grandpas farm house did, that money could be added to the estate those children might get later etc.
I believe there are many ways wealth can be passed on without spoiling people.