loaning family money

[ultrarunner]

I loaned and borrowed Real Estate Money with siblings...

It has happened several times and never a problem.

The last time my brother had to close on his farm or lose it and his house was only a week into a 45 day escrow... I was able to float him a loan until his escrow closed.

About 10 years ago I was the borrower and had 60 days to pay it back when I needed a bridge loan for a home I was buying...

We have a joint bank account together since 1982 so it would be a sad situation if any of the 3 of us wouldn't make it good.

 

[kenmac]

We have a joint bank account together since 1982 so it would be a sad situation if any of the 3 of us wouldn't make it good.

Now that's a very special relationship right there !

 

[PRCWI]

Not a Dave Ramsey groupie but I agree with him on this...Give them the money and forget about it if you can...Thanksgiving dinner never tastes the same when there is a financial issue stewing.

If you're just helping continue an on-going problem, just let them know you aren't in a financial position to help at this point...

Never had to do this with family, but it did happen with a friend years ago and it was difficult to say no. But I did.

I agree, I always take the attitude that if I can afford it I'd rather help them out with a gift then a loan and have to worry about following up etc.

That being said, I typically like to help when NOT asked vs asked and when unexpectedly helping someone out I like to ask them to just pay it forward by helping someone else when they are able.

 

[kenmac]

Sounds like he has financial issues that you aren't going to be able to help him with.. He'll be broke again soon.. Doesn't want to work ,and make money to be able to support his spending habits

It always makes me laugh, when I hear people say they are always broke,and can hardly keep the lights on ,or buy food.. Yet they always have enough for that new car payment, going out to eat every night, buying beer,paying for internet , data plan for their new $800.00 I phone, watching their 4k smart tv with their 800 channel cable plan

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Sounds like he has financial issues that you aren't going to be able to help him with.. He'll be broke again soon.. Doesn't want to work ,and make money to be able to support his spending habits

It always makes me laugh, when I hear people say they are always broke,and can hardly keep the lights on ,or buy food.. Yet they always have enough for that new car payment, going out to eat every night, buying beer,paying for internet , data plan for their new $800.00 I phone, watching their 4k smart tv with their 800 channel cable plan

I see that a lot now; some of it pretty close to home. In the "olden" days, our budget considered two things: (1) how much money we had coming in, and (2) how severely did we have to compromise our food, shelter and other necessary expenses in order not to exceed #1. Many a time we paid our rent and other expenses and had maybe $25 bucks for groceries, gas, etc. and it had to last two weeks. We didn't dare live by the scenario you describe, or else we would have been out on the street in no time.

 

[PRCWI]

Yep, I've had similar experiences where I had family members who were telling me they were very tight on $$, not directly asking but asking via whining about their situation. Yet they are texting me on their expensive phones and spending money on lots of non necessities. Meanwhile to get to where I've gotten to we went through times where we were scrimping on everything we could, selling stuff on ebay etc, etc. to make sure all the bills were paid.

We've been blessed now and are getting into much better financial shape but I spent years busting butt and pinching and working to improve my marketability and thus my earning potential. That effort has been met with success (praise the Lord). But as a result I have a very hard time when someone whines to me about not having money yet they have $$ to drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, pay for cable/dish tv, pay for high speed internet, etc...etc...

 

[tungularafishcamp]

Yep, I've had similar experiences where I had family members who were telling me they were very tight on $$, not directly asking but asking via whining about their situation. Yet they are texting me on their expensive phones and spending money on lots of non necessities. Meanwhile to get to where I've gotten to we went through times where we were scrimping on everything we could, selling stuff on ebay etc, etc. to make sure all the bills were paid. We've been blessed now and are getting into much better financial shape but I spent years busting butt and pinching and working to improve my marketability and thus my earning potential. That effort has been met with success (praise the Lord). But as a result I have a very hard time when someone whines to me about not having money yet they have $$ to drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, pay for cable/dish tv, pay for high speed internet, etc...etc...

Lol After the waterspout hit the cabin right after I got a temporary roof on and heat going, Internet was my next priority(didn't lose water or electricity) it is a seminecessity nowadays especially since it is our phone as well.

 

[PRCWI]

Don't get me wrong, I love my internet as much as the next guy, but if I was really pinched for cash I could get myself a pay by the minute cell phone and cancel all my cellular services and local phone.

Local phone service just to have a line for internet if your using DSL costs near $50 a month just for the phone line with local service after all the taxes and fees here in central WI. That's $600 per year. Add in the probably minimum of around $50 per month for the DLS and now your at $1200 per year. When your really pinched or your really trying to get ahead you can save a lot of money by getting rid of anything having to do with electronics/entertainment.

I'd far rather have it than not but at the same time it's expensive. We still don't pay for any kind of Dish/Cable services. I miss it sometimes but usually only when there are big sporting events I want to watch and I can always go to a friends house to watch if I really have to see it. I figure I've saved well into the thousands of $$ in not paying for any cable/dish over the years and I don't really feel like I've missed much.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Lol After the waterspout hit the cabin right after I got a temporary roof on and heat going, Internet was my next priority(didn't lose water or electricity) it is a seminecessity nowadays especially since it is our phone as well.

It's been over 50 years now, but if my memory serves me right, we didn't have a phone...couldn't afford one...for the first year or so we were married.

 

[Deere Dude]

Yep, I've had similar experiences where I had family members who were telling me they were very tight on $$, not directly asking but asking via whining about their situation. Yet they are texting me on their expensive phones and spending money on lots of non necessities. Meanwhile to get to where I've gotten to we went through times where we were scrimping on everything we could, selling stuff on ebay etc, etc. to make sure all the bills were paid.

We've been blessed now and are getting into much better financial shape but I spent years busting butt and pinching and working to improve my marketability and thus my earning potential. That effort has been met with success (praise the Lord). But as a result I have a very hard time when someone whines to me about not having money yet they have $$ to drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, pay for cable/dish tv, pay for high speed internet, etc...etc...

I can remember in the 70s, young away from home, married and 2 kids on E-3 pay. Would live month to month out of a pawn shop. Pawn my couple guns and stereo, but then get them back next month and still had enough for beer left over. We bought a new trailer house and borrowed 3-400 hundred from the mother-in-law for the down payment but then went to the paymaster and had $50 a month taken out of the check for the MIL. Never missed a payment but would all but starve to keep up with the bills.

Not many of us here, I would bet, would turn down anyone who got rid of their phone, TV, car, credit cards and still didn't have enough for food.