loaning family money

[MossRoad]

Well, he's working 5 days at Sprallmart, and two or three afternoons washing dishes at a restaurant. I do partly feel for a young guy in the world now, but at the same time, he's got that typical entitled attitude. The world owes him a middle class income, even though he doesn't have a skill.

That's something I think about often, now.... why do people think they should get high pay for no skill?

When I got out of high school, I started working full time at the airport pumping gas into airplanes. I worked two 10-hour shifts and two 8-hour shifts, for 36 hours a week (considered full-time back then). I had health insurance through that job. I was going to college full-time (12 credit hours per semester). I had a 2nd part-time job driving military trucks out of AM General onto rail spurs around northern Indiana. I had a 3rd job in summers as a lifeguard on a man-made whitewater course a couple evenings per week and some weekends. And I was dating my future wife. And I was eating a lot of pizza, partying fairly hard, and drinking fairly heavily as well. I was living at home with my parents, was dead-dog tired.... and I was having the time of my life.

My folks gave me and my siblings the same offer; live at home for free room and board IF you are going to school full-time, OR, pay rent to your parents, OR move out and good luck. So, I fulfilled the full-time college stipulation, got free food and a bed, payed my way through college, got out debt free, got engaged and put a down-payment on a house the year after I graduated. The last year at home I traded a LOT of labor for room and board to my folks. My wife had pretty much the same deal from her folks and took advantage of it. We both took advantage of our schooling and got OK jobs making OK wages. We lived well below our means with a backup plan of being able to make payments working minimum wage jobs. 30 years later, the plan worked out well so far.

Had we not had supportive parents, we would have been in a much different position. We now have children. We support them pretty much the same way our folks supported us. They will be fine.

I wonder, though, how a young guy (or gal) with no family support available can make it these days? Especially if, when young, they were never given the tools to succeed? What's going to happen to them? Who's going to show them how to succeed? Scary stuff.

You have to work really hard, sometimes at jobs you don't enjoy, to get a grub stake to pay for an education or training to do a job that pays you enough to live the life you want to live. And it takes a multi-year, even multi-decade plan. And it takes a little luck to avoid a job-loss or health catastrophe. But if you have the mental tools, you can usually pick up and start over and get going again faster than someone that doesn't have the tools. Its just that simple. If no one ever shows you that or you don't come to that realization yourself, you're screwed for the rest of your days.

 

[newbury]

It is like lending tools.

I don't mind as long as they are not abused and returned promptly in same condition.
My black list gets longer all the time as I always give a first chance.

That's what HF tools are for!

Well, he's working 5 days at Sprallmart, and two or three afternoons washing dishes at a restaurant. I do partly feel for a young guy in the world now, but at the same time, he's got that typical entitled attitude. The world owes him a middle class income, even though he doesn't have a skill.

Your approach of having your wife pay her brothers bill was good. If he's putting in an honest 50 hour week at least he's trying. But in this day and age the GF should be putting in the same.

Have a talk with them and get them motivated.

 

[GPintheMitten]

Had I not went to community college at night, I would not have acquired programming skills. Those skills and hard work paid off. But without skills, hard work probably would not have been enough.

 

[Travelover]

Having been burned in a similar deal I'll just say if the Starwars thing bugged you, what you will see in the future will really grind you if he doesn't pay you back.

 

[tungularafishcamp]

Well, pretty much the same here, but it was $275, and I haven't seen him in over 15 years. It is not all bad. Oh, and the handgun I got for the $200 loan was a Ruger Red Hawk in 5 inch .44 Magnum Stainless with Hogue Grips.. I came out good on that one.. As for the OP's Hi Point collateral, Well lets just say, I aint so sure you are on the winning end of that one.

So how much interest do you want to close out your loan on that RedHawk

 

[MossRoad]

On a lighter note, I took my kids to see Star Wars at the noon show yesterday for $4.00 per ticket. Best $4.00 movie I've seen in a while! :laughing:

 

[300UGUY]

Funny. I got a pistol pretty much the same way. Buddy was getting divorced, had no money, loaned him the money, he later asked if I would take a pistol, brand new in the box. I figured that was the only way I was getting anything, so I said yes.

Isn't it funny, a guy has zero money, and yet he buys toys like a pistol?

 

[timswi]

Not a Dave Ramsey groupie but I agree with him on this...Give them the money and forget about it if you can...Thanksgiving dinner never tastes the same when there is a financial issue stewing.

If you're just helping continue an on-going problem, just let them know you aren't in a financial position to help at this point...

Never had to do this with family, but it did happen with a friend years ago and it was difficult to say no. But I did.

 

[motownbrowne]

Not a Dave Ramsey groupie but I agree with him on this...Give them the money and forget about it if you can...Thanksgiving dinner never tastes the same when there is a financial issue stewing.

If you're just helping continue an on-going problem, just let them know you aren't in a financial position to help at this point...

Never had to do this with family, but it did happen with a friend years ago and it was difficult to say no. But I did.

I must be living under a rock. I've never heard of this Dave Ramsey guy until I bought a tractor last week from someone following his advice to pay down debt. I think I got a pretty good deal, and if I were him I'd be missing that tractor, but oh well.

To the OP, be sure and check in two weeks from now with the result. It'd be refreshing to hear that he's paid up.

 

[oosik]

I would suggest - either give him the money and expect no returns or simply do not give him the money. Loaning money to family is not a stop on the road to harmony.