Ever put your foot in your mouth?

   / Ever put your foot in your mouth?
  • Thread Starter
#51  
I thought of another..

17 years old, my dad made a call and got me a job in the oilfield. It was on a jack up barge. We were servicing capped wells out in the Gulf Of Mexico.

I wasn't ready I guess, I was very cocky and my close friends were worse.

My first day, after working 12 hours the 5 of us went into the bunk area and I was seated on a bed. We were filthy as you might imagine. This guy walks in and immediately lights into me. "Son, get the heck off that bunk until you've showered."

"First of all, I'm not your son, 2nd., who the F are YOU?"

"I'm the boat captain."

I finished my 7 day hitch but that was the end of my oilfield career. I didn't ask for my dad's help again, I knew the answer.

WHat a gig that was. In 1985, $700.00 a week was an outstanding starting rate. 7 on and 7 off.

They fed us like kings. The first mate made what ever you wanted for breakfast. Lunch looked more like supper, they didn't feed us sandwiches. Supper was more like eating in a restaurant. Prime rib, stuff like that. Friday was seafood night and Saturday was steak. You would not believe the cuts of meat.

In the evenings you sometimes could get on the UHF radio and hail a crew boat to come get you. They'd take you over to the nearest drilling rig where you could eat all the ice cream you could get down, shoot pool, watch a movie etc.

It is humiliating just to remember what my mouth got me in to. :ashamed:
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #52  
I watched an interesting Seminar on the TED channel about honesty. The speaker mentioned a funny case of a woman going for a job interview and the Boss asked her what she thought her worst fault was. Honesty she said. The Boss said, he didn't think that so bad. She replied, I really don't care what the f$#%$ you think!
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #53  
Years ago my (rip) father in law was at an outdoor food event, there was a booth giving out beer samples. A live radio crew was there (years before editing). This lady tries it, the radio announcer asks how she liked it. With a British accent "Well I think they ought to pour it back up the horse's arse from wince it came".
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #54  
You mean, where Guiness comes from?

Actually, speaking of "Mouth" that stuff looks and tastes more like it came out of a spitoon.
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #55  
Well, I have tasted Guinness. I'll have to take your word on what the contents of a spitoon tastes like.

And I prefer a Murphy Stoudt to a Guinness, but that's just me.
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #58  
So I'm fresh out if training.

I walk into a room to introduce myself to perform a medical procedure on an expectant mother. There is a second person in the room.

Me: "... and are you the father of the baby?"
The second person: "No, I'm her mother." (meaning she's the pregnant woman's mother :ashamed:).

I swear she looked JUST LIKE a 30 year old man not a grandmother! No way to talk my way out of that and not the way to build trust. Never made ANY assumptions again.
My wife works in a high school. Its ridiculous how many kids want to identify as the opposite sex. They dont respond to their given name. They pick one that goes with the identity they assumed.
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #59  
Well, I have tasted Guinness. I'll have to take your word on what the contents of a spitoon tastes like.

And I prefer a Murphy Stoudt to a Guinness, but that's just me.

I like both. :D Funny to visit Dublin and see tanker trucks full of Guinness running down the street. :thumbsup::laughing::laughing::laughing:

The Guinness complex is huge. Nearby are a couple distilleries... ;):D

Later,
Dan
 
   / Ever put your foot in your mouth? #60  
I have said "Yes Sir" to females before
 

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