Need some advice on what to do with parents belongings

[Lineman North Florida]

Thank you Charlie. Great story. Life changing moment wasn't it.

Yes it was, but after all that time it was just like I had a moment of clarity in the middle of the night and although I had struggled on what to do before that, I haven't struggled since.

 

[fried1765]

Sometime, listening to your heart is the right thing to do. Even if building an extra shop to put everything in it doesn稚 sound logical in a pure simple pratical way, it might be the best way for you to feel good about it. There is these things in life that just don稚 have a price.

^^^^^^^^THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST ADVICE YOU WILL EVER GET!!
You may choose to get rid of some stuff LATER, but NOW..... is NOT the time!

 

[Larry Caldwell]

There are tools that it's great to have two of. Bench grinders are a good example, because you can use a variety of wheels for different tasks.

My dad had a bunch of tools that I didn't, because they were from a different generation. Some of the tools I will never use, and not many would even recognize what they are. If I ever have to work on a Cat diesel, I have an injector wrench, for example. I have a set of rivet heads for an air hammer. I've actually used those for copper rivets, but never for hot rivets. My brother-in-law got the lathe, drillpress and band saw, because I already had those. It wasn't much of a lathe, missing most of the thread gears, and my drillpress is better than Dad's was. Plus father-in-law left me a clockmaker drillpress that is really slick for fine work. I got all the taps and dies, micrometers, mig welder, parts bins, anvil, blacksmith tools, and air tools.

My wife's father was into clocks and watches, so I got a bunch of unique tools from him too, including two really high quality magnifier bench lights.

After we picked over everything we wanted, we had an estate sale and sold the rest.

 

[daugen]

I think a lot has to do with OP's age and whether he has kids to leave some of this "stuff" to. At some point you have to deal with it, and never good to require surviving family members to deal with it, particularly if they don't live in the area. There are no wrong answers here, OP has room and means to do what he wants.
Since I just went through this, disposing of a lifetime of tools and farm equipment ( going from 24 acre farm with barns and three tractors to 370sf assisted living) there sure are hard decisions to make. Particularly if you are a "tool guy" and just love having the right tool for the job. It was always hard for me to throw things away, always could see utility in some piece of hardware. But reality forced me to rethink all of this, otherwise my brothers were stuck with a job they didn't want, I had to get rid of 90 percent of what I owned. All those nice Makita and Dewalt tools, but again, just stuff. I hope in a year or two to be more independent, have another place of my own, and then go back to building birdhouses, which I have done a lot of. I kept a minimum of tools and one set of really nice English wood chisels. The rest has been sold.

My neighbor is a paid local fireman and he put the word out I was disposing of the farm and almost everything was up for sale. I told him his fellow firemen (and local farmers) would look at most of this equipment as candy, and since it was priced really well, it simply disappeared over several weeks. We found a local charity that would come in and take the bedroom furniture no one wanted; used furniture has almost no value it seems.

appears to be very proud to own them Another aspect is you can do a lot of good by giving tools to needy/worthy friends. Tools are enablers and often nice to see folks more successful with a good tool. Living in a humid climate, hard for me to watch tools sit, they just rust and get ruined. Better to be used by someone.

Some things are wonderfully sentimental and great to keep. But my experience tells me there is a time to simplify and that is simply different for all of us.

 

[ovrszd]

I think there is a big difference in AGE of the deceased. The older people, just happen to have things that might be antique and such considered valuable. If a teen died today, do you think many of their possessions would be considered cherished? I'm thinking not so much. I used the term disposed with some reservation, but at the end of the day, that's often what it boils down to. We aren't the stuff we own. So it's really no biggie.

Again, your and my perceptions are so far apart. My Son loved carpentry work and during high school attended a Vocational class where they built complete houses. His tool belt stocked with tools of the trade including his Estwing rough-in hammer burned in my shop. Irreplaceable. Priceless. He was 2 weeks from his 19th birthday when he died.

 

[ovrszd]

My experience has always been that if you aren't sure what to do that's the wrong time to do something... especially when it comes to the death of a loved one.
Just my :2cents:

Words of Wisdom.

 

[ovrszd]

I took some tools of my late father and my brothers and sons did as well. I think of him every time I grab that drill or use that grinding wheel. I personally would keep the tools I needed to refurb the truck and I'd drive that truck with him riding right along side of me.

But hey, that's me.

More words of wisdom. I still have my Son's 1979 Malibu.

 

[ovrszd]

Yes it was, but after all that time it was just like I had a moment of clarity in the middle of the night and although I had struggled on what to do before that, I haven't struggled since.

Mine came in a dream.

 

[Sigarms]

Again, your and my perceptions are so far apart. My Son loved carpentry work and during high school attended a Vocational class where they built complete houses. His tool belt stocked with tools of the trade including his Estwing rough-in hammer burned in my shop. Irreplaceable. Priceless. He was 2 weeks from his 19th birthday when he died.

Sorry for your loss of your son. I do however think that it's different between when you lay your offspring to rest (to which I wouldn't wish upon anyone) vs laying your parents to rest.

In the end, objects only represent what the decased owners of those objects have meant to the living person who the deceased has had a relationship with. It's not the object who had the relationship, but the person who owned that object. In the end, for myself, it isn't the objects that determine the value to the living which the deceased once owned, but the impact the decased has had on the living person.

Perhaps my objectivity would change if one of my own sons died before myself, but again, wouldn't wish that upon.

Death waits for no one. Sooner or later, we will ALL face that journey.

When my mother passed away in 2003 and I was a only child living 800 miles away from my father, we had a heart to heart conversation on EVERYTHING he wanted done with his material possessions and who would get what if he were to die (in a will as well), which I alone would determine after his death as he left everything to me. That said, I would NEVER EVER not follow my fathers wishes. In that aspect I was very lucky not having to deal with siblings. that said, I speak from experience (from a very large family on both sides of my parents and wifes family) in saying that all siblings from the same set of parents don't hold the same common sense or values from "good" parents.

We are born with nothing coming into this world, and we will all leave the exact same way. Money however tends to screw the living up, not the dead.

I was the executor of my Aunt's "estate" when she died. She had no money, lived in an apartment, and left no will. After dealing with all the family on the stuff various people wanted, I wouldn't wish the scenario on anyone.

 

[furnone]

We did this:

Estate Sales & Online Auctions - Caring Transitions

We did the same thing when a family member passed. Each of us took any items we wanted, then turned it over to the online auction service. They photographed everything, posted it on their online auction site, arranged for pickup by the winning bidders and handed over a check, minus their 40% commission. We took their advice to not set minimum bid prices and it worked out well. There were a couple of items that we didn't want to go for too low and bid on ourselves and later sold at a more realistic price. This is what we are advising our kids to do when we are gone.