My experience with a dementia patient wasn’t hardly that bad but it wasn’t a lot better. I can’t imagine anyone looking at that situation and not thinking that not at least having the option of assisted dying as a good one. I don’t know a single able minded person that claims they want to be in a situation like that. I’ve heard more than one say that if that day comes for them to put a plastic bag over their head. Yet despite nobody actually wanting to continue living like that there’s no other real option.
Oh we definitely don’t, but you have to understand, when she moved in with us, she could drive, walk, buy things on line and use the bathroom. The decline happened in front of us and once we were committed, my wife wasn’t going to give up on her. We have tried everything; in home therapy, doctors, nurses, therapists. We sent her for a few weeks to a few different rehabs. Her meds are constantly adjusted and changed in hopes to improve her. She is under a psychiatrists care. Nothing is working more than a little temporary mild improvement here and there.
15 years ago, I worked for a wealthy elderly lady. She was very healthy, but her husband had severe dementia. After working there for a few weeks, she began opening up to me about him. Previously, he was a brilliant accountant and had a substantial list of wealthy clients from the local high end country club. Worth millions.
The daily routine was, I would arrive at the house at 7:30 and so would the husbands care giver. His name was Rocco. A hulk of a 60 year old man. He would come in, take off his cap and go into the husbands room. He would change him, put on his adult diaper, and sit him up. He would wheel him into the family room lift him onto the couch and spoon feed him his pablum. He was very humane to him and tried to talk to him and keep him calm. They would watch old John Wayne type western movies, which was the only thing he could comprehend, then put him to bed about 3pm.
I’m telling you this dementia disease sucks for the person who has it, but sucks much worse for the caregiver.
It’s a life changer for us and although some people give us the pat on the back or the “atta guy”, it gives us little relief. My wife loves her mom and the mom isn’t wanted by anyone else because it’s too much work. The mom as we knew her is no longer there or recognizable.