Stupid Things I Have Done

Dftodd · May 2, 2023

Yander said:
The strange lady grabbed your @$$?

Yes

Fuddyduddy1952 · May 2, 2023

That was no lady...well maybe you were leaking some methane and she was trying to close the port!

Jstpssng · May 2, 2023

I hope that this thread isn't meant to be a contest... because the rest of you don't stand a chance of winning!!!

RSKY · May 3, 2023

You never know in a Sam's Club.

Was leaving one and handed the rather large lady at the door my receipt. It was in the high nineties outside and she was sweating, sweating a lot. As she was looking at the receipt I politely said, "You look hot!"

To which she replied, "Well thank you".

I figure she had been waiting all day for some fool to come along.

RSKY

Lastkidpicked · May 3, 2023

RSKY said:
Was leaving one and handed the rather large lady at the door my receipt. It was in the high nineties outside and she was sweating, sweating a lot. As she was looking at the receipt I politely said, "You look hot!"

To which she replied, "Well thank you".

I figure she had been waiting all day for some fool to come along.

My son, his girlfriend, and I were going to the Diary Queen. Some teens were hanging out in the parking lot and a couple of them gave a wolf whistle to the girlfriend.

Before anyone could react, I hollered "I am using a new hair conditioner. Thank you for noticing!"

I love embarrassing the kids.

Rockbadchild · May 3, 2023

Don't be so hard on yourself ... I saw a video of a guys doing a review on the biggest Still chainsaw available it was brand new and the bar and chain was installed by the dealer... he started it up try to cut and the dealer installed the chains backward...

Jstpssng · May 3, 2023

I recieved a Northern Tool catalog one day and in their chainsaw section they showed someone running a saw holding the brake against the saw handle. For some reason I called them up and complained. When they said "we'll fix it", they did.

They stopped sending me catalogs.

.

Rockbadchild · May 3, 2023

one of my stupidest moment was ... A while back I had a slab of cement at home, it was laying around since I bought the place... no clue what it was for but it was 3 to 4 inch thick 1 foot wide and 2.5 to 3 feet long, with two small rebar bend in handle shape on each end. My wife at the time was nagging me to get rid of it, so I loaded it up in my truck box and brought it at the dump. Backed up to the designated area got out, lowered my tailgate then I looked at it for a second to try to find the best way to dump it without damaging my truck. So I decided the safest way (for my truck) would be to pull the slab to the edge of the tailgate and give it a yank and move out of the way while it fell... that's what I did but as I step backwards there was a hump behind me causing me to fall on my bum and the slab fell on my foot... My first reaction was to looked around to make sure nobody saw me, but I quickly notice the doze guy and he saw what happen, his face was white just like if he saw a ghost.... So the pride kick in and i told myself “it doesn't hurt” I got up and walked on it like if nothing happen back to my truck but it hurt like a son of a b*&%^... once I got inside I couldn't even press the gas with my foot ... as I was driving I was like “the pain will go away it ok... its ok, it will go away” ... but it didn't... just insane paine for the whole 10 minute drive back home... I was like it hurt so much I have to go to the hospitals regardless how it looks... but I couldn't help myself other then to have a look at it and it wasn't pretty... my foot split open since I was only wearing leather shoes... and I had a broken a metatarsal bone.

Yander · May 3, 2023

OUCH!!!!

Jstpssng · May 3, 2023

Yander said:
OUCH!!!!

What he said!!!!

Fuddyduddy1952 · May 3, 2023

A while back, how is it now? Ouch...hurts just looking at it.
Here's a stupid but funny one happened 30 years ago. (Wife & I together 51 years & her birthday is tomorrow). We had to dispose of a Magnavox console TV. Anyone old enough to remember this had the stereo built in, tube type, about as big as a coffin. So we load onto my truck and went to a dumpster site about 15 miles away very late at night. We pull up to a dumpster which is waaaay tall. Oh well, we'll have to muscle it in! I'm 6'1", she's 5'10" and we're sliding it straight up, then stand on pickup bed edge...both shaking...finally heave it in...BOOM! We're both out of breath, resting a bit, I hug her "Well! We did it!"...then as I circle truck around the drive goes uphill and I see we were at the BACK of dumpster! All we had to do at top was simply push it off back of truck!

Duh

5030 · May 3, 2023

I'd say getting married 3 times and having to liquidate 3 times.

Rockbadchild · May 3, 2023

Fuddyduddy1952 said:
A while back, how is it now? Ouch...hurts just looking at it.

it’s been 6 years or so I only felt it for about 1 year at most …after 6 week I was walking with a cane, 8 week I was back underground full duty but with lots of pain especially in the first few days. Now it’s like it never happen other then a bit of nerve damage near the cut but that’s it … the worse i’d say was they didn’t see the fracture (there wasn’t any displacement) and after I got stitch up the doctor was like it’s not broken you can walk on it… i was like you didn’t drug me enough for that there is no way … he insisted told me to walk on my heel but there was no way… so I left hopping on one leg without crutches… i hop around on one leg for one week before i got my hands on crutches the throbbing pain was brutal as soon as I lowered it, it felt like it wanted to explode … I went to the clinic for a medical paper for work and that’s when I learned it was broken … I don’t have much to compare since I only broke my nose other than that but I broken nose is a walk in the park compare to a foot.

kenmbz · May 4, 2023

I was bucking an Ash tree. I had cut most of the bottom and top branches and had them moved. The Y was leaning against another tree in a perfect position for me to cut the top branch, probably 16-18" both top and bottom at the cut.

While I was cutting the top, the lower branch disintegrated (gotta love dead ash) and the top came down on the side of my leg. probably 6feet of 16-18" Ash.
A whole year later and I still walk with a slight limp.

Now I have the trunks/branches all flat on the ground for bucking. Who knew a large branch could just split and fall apart so easily.
Luckily I had already cut off the base, that was quite a bit larger and would have just gone through my leg.

I still have that piece of the tree sitting next to the path as a reminder and have not moved it to the splitting pile.

Beeenvenue · May 5, 2023

Never had a boat growing up. Got a nice 75hp 16’ just for me and my 16 yr old son to run around local lakes. Had a few issues, found someone to change the ignition system and ran like a top. my boy and I wanted to invite my wife to come along one day (she hadn’t ever been) to show off. Brought her sister too. Backed it down, released from trailer with my son in the cockpit and I pulled away.

After I parked I heard the starter just grinding. He couldn’t start it. I ended up swimming out 50 yards to “show the yung ‘un how it’s done”. After 10 minutes of everything I could try, we pulled the cover. 20 minutes of trying and fiddling and assembling later, no joy. We both jumped in and took turns pulling it to shore, humiliated.

Got home and noticed the kill switch lanyard had come dislodged at some point….

Jstpssng · May 5, 2023

Beeenvenue said:
Never had a boat growing up. Got a nice 75hp 16’ just for me and my 16 yr old son to run around local lakes. Had a few issues, found someone to change the ignition system and ran like a top. my boy and I wanted to invite my wife to come along one day (she hadn’t ever been) to show off. Brought her sister too. Backed it down, released from trailer with my son in the cockpit and I pulled away.

After I parked I heard the starter just grinding. He couldn’t start it. I ended up swimming out 50 yards to “show the yung ‘un how it’s done”. After 10 minutes of everything I could try, we pulled the cover. 20 minutes of trying and fiddling and assembling later, no joy. We both jumped in and took turns pulling it to shore, humiliated.

Got home and noticed the kill switch lanyard had come dislodged at some point….

I thought you were going to say that you left the drain plug out... not that I would know anything about THAT!!!

Dftodd · May 5, 2023

Jstpssng said:
I thought you were going to say that you left the drain plug out... not that I would know anything about THAT!!!

Had a roommate do that to his boat

He was sh#t backing up a trailer. So I backed his boat and trailer down the boat ramp.

He fired up his boat and backed that off the trailer and I started to pull out. Luckily for him I was watching the back mirror as I started up the ramp and was able to stop when I saw him chasing me trying to get the boat back onto the trailer

JethroB · May 5, 2023

Jstpssng said:
I thought you were going to say that you left the drain plug out... not that I would know anything about THAT!!!

I’ll just say I’ve been present when that happened. My dad taught us how to bog the boat at maybe 5 mph to drain it back out.

turbo36 · May 5, 2023

Beeenvenue said:
Never had a boat growing up. Got a nice 75hp 16’ just for me and my 16 yr old son to run around local lakes. Had a few issues, found someone to change the ignition system and ran like a top. my boy and I wanted to invite my wife to come along one day (she hadn’t ever been) to show off. Brought her sister too. Backed it down, released from trailer with my son in the cockpit and I pulled away.

After I parked I heard the starter just grinding. He couldn’t start it. I ended up swimming out 50 yards to “show the yung ‘un how it’s done”. After 10 minutes of everything I could try, we pulled the cover. 20 minutes of trying and fiddling and assembling later, no joy. We both jumped in and took turns pulling it to shore, humiliated.

Got home and noticed the kill switch lanyard had come dislodged at some point….

And now you know why experienced boaters always start the boat while it is still on the trailer! Ha ha

Fuddyduddy1952 · May 12, 2023

My Dad had no ego and laughed at things he did. In WWII he was in the Navy on a battleship working in the kitchen when the cook said the spaghetti was ready...drain the pot. He said the pot was a few hundred gallons. He opened the valve and it all went down the drain. The cook said "you're supposed to hold a strainer over it".