You Know You Are Old When

ultrarunner · Dec 28, 2023

Bummer… things like that are a lot of fun if you have room.

MossRoad · Dec 28, 2023

ultrarunner said:
Bummer… things like that are a lot of fun if you have room.

Oh, we don't have the room!

Wife let me know that, too.

I'd have put it in the garage to listen to when working out there, or sitting by the swimming pool.

When I was a kid, the neighborhood bully's father had a hobby rebuilding player pianos. There were always 3-4 in his garage, and when we'd be walking the dogs you'd hear them playing, as he had the garage door open anytime he was out there. I liked the dad. He was pretty friendly and showed us how they worked. His kid, on the other hand...

Last I interacted with him was probably the winter of 1976-77. He was lying on his side in the middle of the street in a puddle of wet heavy snow because I popped him in the crotch with a snowball just after he punched my best friend in the back of the head. He swore revenge on us. I'm still waiting.

Fixastuff · Dec 28, 2023

newbury said:
You post on TBN to rile the trolls for entertainment.

Obviously it was a self-defecating joke, since I'm on here reading and wearing adult diapers.

scootr · Dec 28, 2023

bdhsfz6 said:
You're old when a sexy woman offers to give you super *** and you take the soup.

You know your old when this joke takes a while for you to get it ....

lilranch2001 · Dec 28, 2023

When the 50 ish age women are young hotties…..

scootr · Dec 28, 2023

When attractive women look more like a liability than a thrill.

NoTrespassing · Dec 28, 2023

This actually happened, I picked my 10 year old son up from "aftercare" at his school. My wife didn't realize it and went there on her way home from work. The lady informed her that his grandfather already picked him up

I am plenty old enough to be his grandfather.

oosik · Dec 28, 2023

When you can still remember WW2 and the concerns your folks had.

CH4Ohio · Dec 28, 2023

Hay Dude said:
You go downstairs to lift weights and end-up injured for 4 weeks

I'm afraid to go downstairs to lift weights. Afraid I won't be able to make it back upstairs.

Jstpssng · Dec 28, 2023

Fixastuff said:
@haydude here's an old man workout.

You start with a 1lb sack of potatoes held out level at arms length. Keep using that until you can hold it for 2 mins x 5 reps.

Then you just slowly work your way up 2lb sack, 5lb sack, stopping at 50lbs.

Once you can hold a 50lb sack for 2 mins x 5 reps, you go back to the 1lb sack but this time put a potato in it. Lol.

When I was a kid I read a book about Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys, of Revolutionary War fame. When they went to town for supplies he supposedly would shoulder his pack, pick up a 50 pound bag of potatoes up with his teeth, toss it over his shoulder and head back up into the mountains.
Last month I was taking groceries out of the truck in the rain and had the brainstorm of carrying a 10 lb bag into the house in my teeth.

That book should have had a disclaimer...
KIDS! DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!

Norm W · Dec 28, 2023

The eye opener is meeting a student that you had in Jr High and finding out he is a great grandfather. I seem to remember I didn't like him much then either.

Fuddyduddy1952 · Dec 29, 2023

oldballs said:
You know that you are old (not getting old) when you go to take a whizz and find that your zipper is already down.

Cheers,
Mike

Yes...what happens next is taking a whizz THINKING your zipper is already down.

5030 · Dec 29, 2023

MoKelly said:
Christmas was great but I got yet another reminder that I’m getting old.

We had a bunch of younger nieces and nephews over Christmas Eve. I had Dean Martin and Bing Crosby Christmas songs going as background music.

My 18 year old niece asked “who is singing”?

I said “Bing Crosby, maybe the best singer ever”. She looks at me and says “who is that”.

OMG in their language.

After much discussion and and a brief survey, turns out NONE of the kids 18 or under had any clue whatsoever about Bing Crosby, Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra. Not a clue.

I am getting old!!!

You are but I'm older...lol

You know when you've reached that 'pinnacle' when your feet go to sleep standing over the commode, taking a leak...

5030 · Dec 29, 2023

Fuddyduddy1952 said:
Yes...what happens next is taking a whizz THINKING your zipper is already down.

Been there and did that. In fact I did it yesterday and whiddled all over the front of my bibs and soaked my undies as well. Always have a 'fresh pair' of both handy.

Other thing is, when I got to go, I got to go NOW.. More than once, driving down the road, the urge comes up and no rest area handy, so I whip over on the berm, walk around the passengers side and open the door and hope to heck no one sees me taking a whizz.... Especially a cop as I don't want a ticket for 'indecent exposure' not that it is. At my age there is no decent or indecent exposure...lol

I just gots to go...

masseyrider · Dec 29, 2023

You're old when you make groans sitting down and getting up.
New Years eve is something you watch on the news the next day.
Then you fall asleep watching the Tv and miss it all over again.
All your stories of adventure and daring do are 40+ years old.
You avoid going into the basement unless you really need something. Stupid stairs.
You see your doctor more than your friends.
Your medicine cabinet is full of medications without a condom to be seen.
A second slice of pizza is off your diet and it'll keep you awake all night anyways.