I could write a book on what we went through with our house build. We chose the builder (Local, CUSTOM Home Builder, 30 years in the area, very highly recommended) and were let down constantly. Very costly learning experience for my wife and I.
I am so fortunate to have been living only 10 miles away from where we built. Had we been in a different state, just relying on the builder to "do it right"... we'd have been hosed. I was on the job site almost daily... basically, became the project manager.