Are my parents to strict?
- Thread starter Cub124
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I'm sorry to bother you guys with this again but I just need advice and a place to vent. So I turned 18 and I'm still getting treated like I was before. My parents have even told me that turning 18 means nothing. I can't move out and get a place because I don't have a steady job, my parents won't let me work any place because they don't want me around anyone who doesn't go to their church. So I work a few times a month with someone from church. I have had depression for the past four or five months and it keeps getting worse and I don't know how much worse it can get. I would talk to my parents, about wanting to leave their church and stuff, but I don't want to make my life more of a living **** than it already is.
riptides
Super Member
Well, you DO need to step up to the plate and TALK with your parents. Life is not easy. Perhaps approaching someone at your church to assist with talking to your parents is in order.
And eighteen means a lot. You are a valued, you are loved, YOU are important. Now pick yourself up and try again.
kiotiken
Veteran Member
Well you're 18 now and you ARE and adult, regardless of if your parents treat you that way or not. What are your future plans at this point? Do you want to get into the work force and continue towards your goals of getting on the fire dept. or do you plan to continue your education, and if so, are your parents there to support you finacially and give you enough freedom to do it? If they are, you may well be better off playing their game a little longer.
It doesn't sound like that's your parents plan though. They may tell you that you can't move out because you have nothing and no money, but that's where a lot of people start. At some point, that may be your only option. I wouldn't sit around waiting to get on the fire dept. Around here anyway, getting on the fire dept is a difficult thing to do and takes a long time. I'm not saying give up on it, but you'll likely need more freedom to make it a reality and you can't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.
Talk to people about feelings of depression. A lot of people would feel the same way in your situation. It gets better, way better and your parents are now grasping at straws to control you. It can't and won't last forever, but when and how that day comes will be up to you.
Good luck
It doesn't sound like that's your parents plan though. They may tell you that you can't move out because you have nothing and no money, but that's where a lot of people start. At some point, that may be your only option. I wouldn't sit around waiting to get on the fire dept. Around here anyway, getting on the fire dept is a difficult thing to do and takes a long time. I'm not saying give up on it, but you'll likely need more freedom to make it a reality and you can't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.
Talk to people about feelings of depression. A lot of people would feel the same way in your situation. It gets better, way better and your parents are now grasping at straws to control you. It can't and won't last forever, but when and how that day comes will be up to you.
Good luck
wcampbell47
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Cub .. I have to reply. My ex and I reared our boys in church and kept them busy with sports. One was a track star one did very well in football. But of course they were going to public school. I am very proud of both my sons as they are both American heroes. The oldest attended an honor military college after high school. Graduated and was commissioned a 2nd LT in the Army Reserve. To be honest if you are considering a military career take a similar route. #1 you get to experience what military life could be like without making a long term commitment to serve. #2 you are in one of the best atmospheres for an education #3 you have an opportunity to serve as an officer ... believe me a much better way to go than as enlisted. I stepped on the yellow foot prints at MCRD San Diego in 1967 at 19 years of age. My younger son played football all through high school and was signed up to attend the United States Military Academy prep school as a potential football player for Army. He graduated USMA class of 1998. Both boys went on to flight school and transitioned into the Apache.
My oldest has more awards than I know about .. at least 2 Bronze Stars and a citation from the 75th Ranger Battalion for saving their butts on more than one occasion. The youngest was medically discharged as a Captain. He is currently running an American company in Brazil. I'm just saying you make the right choices and you could RUN the fire department .. not just be a fire fighter. Well I have gushed too much .. but I hope I have given you something to think about.
Respect your parents. Make good choices ... choices have consequences. Hopefully at a point in time they will be as proud of you as I am of mine.
My oldest has more awards than I know about .. at least 2 Bronze Stars and a citation from the 75th Ranger Battalion for saving their butts on more than one occasion. The youngest was medically discharged as a Captain. He is currently running an American company in Brazil. I'm just saying you make the right choices and you could RUN the fire department .. not just be a fire fighter. Well I have gushed too much .. but I hope I have given you something to think about.
Respect your parents. Make good choices ... choices have consequences. Hopefully at a point in time they will be as proud of you as I am of mine.
Deere Dude
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It sounds like your parents want to control you as long as they can but will not allow for you to gain means to grow on your own. I can understand them wanting to be protective but sooner or later something has to come to a head. To many case turn out badly and as long as you have a good head on your shoulders I would make a preemptive move.
This is just from my perspective, I would go down to the military recruiter and sign up tomorrow. Not because it would be an escape, which it would be anyway, but because there are some great opportunities in the military. Some people who were in the military will bash the military. But most of these same people will still be proud of their service and wear the Army or marine caps and brag about it to their friends. Plus, there are school benefits during, and after your duty in the military is over.
I have a very intelligent boy who wanted to go to college but didn't have the means to, and he really didn't want to work during college. I advised him to go into the reserves for the tuition benefits, which he did. He ended up in Irag during the first war, and I was apprehensive big time about that, but he came out after a couple years and said it was one of the best things he did. It made him very mature and able to stand on his own two feet better. He then entered college then graduate school and retired at 40. Military isn't always a bad thing, nor is it the end. In my case and millions of others it is a good thing.
This is just from my perspective, I would go down to the military recruiter and sign up tomorrow. Not because it would be an escape, which it would be anyway, but because there are some great opportunities in the military. Some people who were in the military will bash the military. But most of these same people will still be proud of their service and wear the Army or marine caps and brag about it to their friends. Plus, there are school benefits during, and after your duty in the military is over.
I have a very intelligent boy who wanted to go to college but didn't have the means to, and he really didn't want to work during college. I advised him to go into the reserves for the tuition benefits, which he did. He ended up in Irag during the first war, and I was apprehensive big time about that, but he came out after a couple years and said it was one of the best things he did. It made him very mature and able to stand on his own two feet better. He then entered college then graduate school and retired at 40. Military isn't always a bad thing, nor is it the end. In my case and millions of others it is a good thing.
BIG DOOLEY
Platinum Member
Sounds like you already have made a decision.
Thats great!
It is a big world we live in and there are many opportunities to pursue.
Being a Firefighter and/or EMT is a very respectable and courageous profession.
Careers in the Military ::
Good luck!
burnieman
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First, get out of that whacked out church you've been brought up in. Then get busy with the firefighting gig. Sounds like you've been coddled your whole life. Time to man up to your parents and get your life started. Go chase women, have some fun. Slam a few beers and make some mistakes. We all did. Except the mormons. Then buy a tractor and push some dirt around and pretend its your parents. I should have gone into psychiatry. I'm good at this.
Ed of all trades
Elite Member
When I was 17 I did what I wanted when I wanted. My dad would ground me and I would go out that night as always and do the same stupid things I always did. Ran with the wrong people and married the wrong woman. choices have a way of multiplying. I am now in my 50's and I wish I had parents that loved me enough to be strict with me. I am still paying for the choices I made when I was your age. Thank your parrents they love you.
kiotiken
Veteran Member
There's a balance that needs to be achieved. You might have been on one end, but Cub124 is certainly on the other. There is a huge distinction between being strict and being controlling.
I love my 3 young kids more than anything. I hope to teach them all that I can. I hope what I teach them gives them a basis for them to learn more on their own and grow as people. I want my kids to be independent and make their own choices in life, not follow mine.
