Are my parents to strict?

[riptides]

You know Cub124, your bringing out the best of TBN. I hope you bring out the BEST in yourself.

The world is huge. And time flies by. It may seem hard and difficult now, it gets better every day.

Good luck, best wishes.

 

[kenmac]

Cub, There's no way for me to know if your situation is as grim as you say it is. If you are serious about getting into the fire service business (Firefighter/ Paramedic) Check with local fire departments in your area.Ask if they have an explorer program .If your parents don't object, get into that program. At 16 , my son told me he was intersted in becoming a Fireman. I knew several Firemen and talked to them. Long story short. My son got into the explorer program. At 18 ( after Highschool) the FD offered him part time dispatcher job. The FD got him certified for this dispatch job. While he was part time dispatcher, he went to college for Paramedic.I had the funds set aside to pay for this , but the FD said they would pay if, he agreed to work for them when he got out of college and passed the National Paramedic Registry. After passing the Registry , the FD hired him as a Paramedic full time. The FD then sent him to Fire College to get certified as a Firefighter. My son has been a full time Firefighter/ Paramedic for 5 yrs now and loves it. The reason I tell you this story is, if a FD dept in your area offers a program like this. It may not cost you 1 cent to go to College to live your dream. Good Luck to you

 

[schweizer]

Cub,

We will be here for you as much as friends over the internet can be. You've been given some excellent ideas and words of encouragement here. Way to step up TBN friends!

+1 on maintaining civilized discussion with your parents.

Yes, as long as you live under your parents roof, you need to abide by their rules. But not getting a high school diploma would be one of the worst things you could do to yourself, so whatever you do, don't jeopardize your schooling. As someone else said, maybe you can maintain status quo until graduation? Are you in public school, private school, or are you still homeschooling? (Maybe I missed that part.) If you are homeschooling, there are a few options -- like GED and college entrance exams.

One thing I hate to ask but no one has mentioned, and the doctor in me makes me a little suspicious of: Are the rules, etc. all just verbal requests/desires from your parents? No physical abuse? I think everyone here has assumed that you have loving parents who have a sincere devotion to JW faith, and you feel restricted by their (perceived) "strict rules", but there is no physical or even verbal abuse. If there is, you need help right away! It's difficult to grasp the complete picture on an internet forum.

If you are not allowed to choose how you believe after you come of age, (i.e. access to information controlled; isolation from friends, relatives and the mainstream culture; put the individual in physically or emotionally distressing situations) then a religion is no longer a religion -- it is a cult. I'm not trying change your faith, but you need to examine carefully what is happening here.

I do have concerns about the military option as an "escape" from the controlling situation. It may be great, but it could separate you even further from family and church friends if you go that route.

Do you have good solid friends that are not Jehovah's Witnesses? Anyone that has parents/family that you trust? People you can talk to outside JW-land? Anyone that would take you in for a little while if they knew your situation? Hey, if you were in my area you would be welcome instantly.

Did you consider the library or internet cafes, WiFi hotspots for accessing the internet? Do you have a cell phone with internet access? Make a Facebook alias. You don't have to use a real name. Just brainstorming....

Are you looking at jobs. They don't have to be jobs in firefighting. You need income to be able to even partially gain independence from your parents. You don't want to totally freeload if you escape to another family for a length of time or have a roommate.

Marcus

 

[wcampbell47]

Cub, this thread gives you the most honest, realistic and informative advice I can imagine. Having read only one page, I am impressed by your attitude, ambitions and honest responses.

Very well put Texas John. Cub .. respect your parents. Maintain the relationship as long as you can. Graduate and obtain the diploma first. Don't lie to your parents if they ask, but don't offer plans until the right time. If they want you to further your education they will be wanting to know what your plans are. I think you have enough of a good foundation to weed out the advice that goes against your training and belief's. Don't be pressured into doing something you don't want to do. Remember as long as you live under their roof (meals, lodging, clothing, education) their rules should be followed to the best of your ability. Rebellion is a root that is not easily dug up. My step daughter is 50 this year. It has taken her 30 years to conquer the rebelliousness of her youth. The girl .. in 4 years you will not be the same person you are today and neither will she. If she is in God's plan for you then she will be there through all the ordeals. I saw my own son through a similar ordeal ... they have been married 17 years. She was in God's plan for him. She probably gives you support and comfort now .. but when you go away she may not be able to go with you. My grandson gave up his idea of going into the Army because his mom persuaded him not to and his girl friend trapped him by becoming pregnant.

Choices have consequences .. try to make good ones. I cannot speak for anyone else but believe in my heart of hearts that everyone here is pulling for you. God speed.

 

[Deere Dude]

Yes that's true I am a man. I'm just afraid of upsetting them, but I'm going to have to take a stand for myself and do it.

If I was to confront parents with a belief system as they have, I would also add to what Texas John said, that you know the difference between right and wrong and you have no intention of going the way of the world, so to speak. You don't plan on cattin' around and you don't plan on any pursuing immoralities or breaking the law. You don't plan on going to bars and other places that nothing good comes out of. That may make your plan a little more acceptable to them. I am sure they mean well and don't want you to take the wrong path that so many people do.

 

[burnieman]

If I was to confront parents with a belief system as they have, I would also add to what Texas John said, that you know the difference between right and wrong and you have no intention of going the way of the world, so to speak. You don't plan on cattin' around and you don't plan on any pursuing immoralities or breaking the law. You don't plan on going to bars and other places that nothing good comes out of. That may make your plan a little more acceptable to them. I am sure they mean well and don't want you to take the wrong path that so many people do.

No cattin around? C'mon. Thats the best part. You can't be looking at xhamster all your life

 

[texasjohn]

Burnie, please, the OP's parents are exceptionally strict and he needs to convince them that as he goes out into the world he is going as a responsible person who will be morally upstanding and making reasoned, sound and planned judgements which they can be proud of. This is vital to his position that he is now ready to take the next step in his life, to further education and job. It's NOT a joking matter, so let's not make light of it.

No cattin around? C'mon. Thats the best part. You can't be looking at xhamster all your life

 

[schweizer]

Watch out for burnieman. He'll lead you down the road of your parents' greatest fears!

(trying to keep this light-hearted, and texasjohn posted while I was writing -- agree totally, even if you are joking burnieman)

Seriously, there are lots of great Christian people out there (including me) that are praying for you and rooting for you. You seem to be smart and can work this out.

 

[burnieman]

Just saying a young man should be out having a little fun, not sitting around being scared of his parents. No one should live like that. He sounds like there is something else going on. That religion has some really strange views. I'm a Christian too. Never understood the religion he has been fed. You need to do what your parents want for the time being, but start looking for an escape route, then start being your own person. And remember how your folks have treated you and don't repeat the cycle with your own kids. So do what they want for now, then you can go tear it up!

 

[Cub124]

Thank everyone for their kind words and words of encouragement it truly means a lot. I would really like to reply to each of you individually but that would take forever. It's given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to wait until I graduate and talk to them, so they can't use that against me. Also, someone asked if I've looked into an explorer program. I was apart of one for 2 years and as of last Friday I am now a full volunteer firefighter. The only reason my parents let me join was because my mom thought it would help me towards my career choice. They don't really let me do anything down there besides go to training nights, and then my dad goes with me. Thanks again everyone for your encouragement.