OK, just a quick follow up for anyone who cares. Well, I'm an idiot. I'm still learning about hydraulics, but I thought I knew things that I didn't know.
I tried using the splitter again today and it wouldn't retract, it would only extend and the handle was deflecting by itself. That confirms to me what some of you have said which is that I probably blew out a seal on one side of the valve. Really frustrating. What I didn't understand when I built this thing was that when I use the loader, the line becomes highly pressurized (as opposed to when no implements are being used and the fluid is just flowing at a relatively low PSI through the open center valves). That high pressure is exerted on the valve body and blew a seal which was probably meant for a few hundred PSI, not in the thousands.
So I could replace the cheap valve or rebuild it. But I might accidentally do this again by leaving the splitter hooked up and lifting something heavy with the FEL. So today I ordered a nice wood splitter valve that has a power beyond port on it. If my understanding is correct, this should take all the high pressure generated when the FEL is used, and divert it away from the valve so it doesn't get damaged. It is kind of expensive, but it looks like a nice one that should last. I'll try to update this post again in a bit once all the parts arrive and I have a chance to assemble the whole thing.
Thanks again for everyone's patience with me. I have learned a lot about hydraulics today. Enough to make me realize what else I don't know.