JC, I sense your frustration in dealing with this, and trying to understand why your grapple is not working they way you'd like. I hope I can break everything down and put it in simple terms for you to try to help...
I put an atv winch switch onto the fel handle works fairly well, but I found the grapple would open as I curled up, and close when I curled down. I want the opposite of that,
Generally that is considered the normal operation, curl up=grapple up
and curl down/dump=grapple down. Most diverter setups are plumbed this way I think, it seems more fluid and natural.
I want the opposite of that, so I can curl up with a load and also tighten the hold as I curl up by off and on with the button.
As mentioned already, the diverter should not be switched while the joystick is in motion, or any other position other than neutral-period. The diverter is a "either/or" selector and should NOT be switched under pressure. That may or may not be what you envisioned/planned/hoped for when you installed it, but that is the way its supposed to work so if you can't get used to that then maybe the diverter is not for you and you should consider a true 3rd function solenoid valve setup. I am sure Brian has one that he could set up with, and while they are not as simple to install as a diverter, it may be worth it to you in the long run.
SO....I switch the lines from the diverter valve going to the grapple, at the outputs on the grapple. Tested, and grapple wouldn't close or open???? Confused by this. Since it didn't work, what did I do wrong and how do I adjust.
First, I DO think you have it plumbed correctly, but I also think that regen is what is messing you up when switching the hoses and not air in the system or bad wiring as has been suggested.
In the post I linked earlier (post #29) from Kubmech, he describes how regen works, and the part of that that is messing you up is this:
The dump function of the loader control valve applies hyd. "power" to both sides of the bucket cylinders at the same time.
Now, since when closing the grapple using the "dump" side of the valve, it has a mechanical advantage/leverage/weight to overcome the whole "pressure on both sides" thing it closes just fine, the same way you bucket does.
When you switched the hoses, both sides of the cylinder are getting pressurized when your trying to open the grapple, and since the mechanical advantage/leverage/weight is now working against you the grapple just 'locks up" the same way Kubmech describes a snowplow will lock up since there is no weight to help overcome the volume/psi issue in the cylinder.
Now, you asked repeatedly:
"Do you know how to stay out of regen mode on this tractor? I for sure do not."
I really wish I could help you with that, I was under the impression that "most" Kubota's the regen was on the first part of the joystick travel (like others have suggested) and that you have to push through that to get into the non-regen portion of the valve, but it seems you've tried all that to no avail.
I can only suggest that you either get used to whats considered "normal" operation (curl up=grapple up
and curl down/dump=grapple down) and only switching the diverter when the joystick is in neutral, or change your diverter over to true 3rd function solenoid valve.
I hope this helps some...:thumbsup:
I don't understand why you need to curl, clamp, curl, clamp. Just a question, although I have and use my grapple, it is in no way one of my often go to attachments. 
