To my reading, the OP is primarily having an issue with pack hierarchy. The dog(s) don't truly believe that the people are the top dogs.
For me, the first step is to teach the dog to consistently come on command. I like to start this on a long retractable leash, so I can add a gentle tug to reinforce the verbal command. When the dog responds correctly, I give him pets, verbal praise, and treats.
The next step is more involved, and he needs to learn that he MUST come when I call. I also start this on a long leash, but I wait for him to get interested in something else. If he ignores me, I offer a sharper correction with the leash. The severity depends on the dog's personality, but it needs to be enough to make an impression.
The final step is to introduce the zap collar, so I can influence him from a distance, if he ignores me. For a dog that is intent on pursuing prey or scraping with another dog, this works like magic. You are almost instantly the most important thing in his life, no matter what else is happening.
I'll add that our dogs are not at all traumatized by this experience. When I power up the GPS/zap collars, they start bouncing around like it's Christmas morning, because they know they are going for an off-leash walk.