Female advice needed

[brin]

What Brin said. Pretty smart for a guy who wears aluminum foil hats. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Keep the old stuff for now but buy new trinkets for the new lady.

Later,
Dan

Dan....Thanks....I'll have you know I only use Reynolds Wrap...none of the cheap imitations for me...:laughing:

 

[Coyote machine]

Drew..Why not give yourself some time to heal....all of this you have been through...Why not pack the jewelry up , put it away and revisit the issue a year of so from now...If you dispose of the jewelery now you may deeply regret it later...your mementos and keepsakes will be gone...God Bless.

+1
And what others have said about not wanting another woman's jewelry. It belongs to you now, and is a reminder of your time with her. If I were in your situation, (another guy's perspective) I might rent a safe box at my local bank and put it away for a year or so and revisit it then and make a decision. You could, depending on the woman, ask her what she would think about jewelry gift(s) from items from a former relationship, and depending on the response decide then what to do. Point well taken about passing on to other women in your family, probably a much less potential 'landmine' scenario, and will likely be received with appreciation. Good luck.

 

[daugen]

during WWII someone took a pic of my Dad in his office with a sign saying Read And Heed on the wall.
Not exactly sure the application back then, but it sure applies now.

Once I've given away what I want to family females, I'll sell it all.
We did six huge bags of clothes today, all going to the local shelter.
It will be strange to drive through the neighboring town and see someone walking along
in my wife's manatee sweatshirt, but it could happen. Fine with me. And apparently the abused women
shelter can use a lot of her stuff, including handbags, whatever.

I really appreciate the advice. It's pretty much what I thought, but I'm running without a playbook here and
yes, I need to make decisions slowly.

 

[Coyote machine]

I'm confident she would be proud of you for having the courage to part with the clothes so others can benefit in their time of need. Slow and steady, and if unsure of some items, stow them for the near future. Time passing does make some decisions easier, though not all. Again, good luck, and sorry for your loss.

 

[daugen]

I am a woman - and I would not want jewelry from you that had belonged to your previous wife. No way.

thank you. and....:welcome:
nice to have you here.

 

[TripleR]

A bit late, but not wanting to provide another male perspective without backup, I spoke with my wife. We are in the process of setting up a will etc.

She indicated "it depends", some women will view it one way and one another. An item belonging to a loved one who has passed will be seen differently than one own from an ex-wife. My wife would be very upset if I sold any of her jewelry though clothing etc. will be donated as we did with her mother's clothing.

She suggested as have other hanging on to it, give it time then discuss it with that special someone when the time is right. Affairs of the heart don't fit well into a poll or preponderance of opinion.

 

[jinman]

Drew, I don't mean this in any judgmental way, but did you and Nadene not ever have any discussions of what her wishes might be? I can understand that you both would not let your thoughts be anything but positive, but I'm still a bit surprised. For me, I could never give jewelry that belonged to my deceased wife to anyone I was involved with. Each time I saw it, its presence would be bringing up all those memories of "her." If you have family members who would like a treasured momento of her memory, I can think of no better way to honor her and them by gifting of the jewelry. I just don't believe you can come up with a good scenario where a gift from Nadene's jewelry is ever an appropriate gift for a new romantic interest. I can almost guarantee you with 100% confidence that such a gift would lead to a very awkward situation with someone being hurt.

As you said in your last post, make decisions slowly. Of course, clothing is a common thing and not many pieces are truly unique. Resale shops seem to move clothes very rapidly and shelters are always in need. Because jewelry is expensive and intensely personal, I would just hold that as others have suggested. It's not going to lose value and may well go up in value. In a couple of years, the best course may be completely clear. I think the beating your heart has taken has left it smarting. Let the heartache subside a bit and then revisit this issue with your good logic and clear head.

 

[aczlan]

A bit late, but not wanting to provide another male perspective without backup, I spoke with my wife. We are in the process of setting up a will etc.
She indicated "it depends", some women will view it one way and one another. An item belonging to a loved one who has passed will be seen differently than one own from an ex-wife. My wife would be very upset if I sold any of her jewelry though clothing etc. will be donated as we did with her mother's clothing.
She suggested as have other hanging on to it, give it time then discuss it with that special someone when the time is right. Affairs of the heart don't fit well into a poll or preponderance of opinion.

+1

Aaron Z

 

[daugen]

btw...
there are no other lady interests. No kids for either of us.
This was my third marriage, no more at bats. This isn't Hollywood...
It was really difficult for me to pull my wedding ring off my finger.
So while I have a dent in my finger and a big hole in my heart now,
I'm a glass three quarters full guy and I expect to make new friends in the future.

So my take away here is that it's ok, on a case by case basis, of giving the jewelry to other women as a
memento of their close personal friendship with Nadene, but get out of town if I try to recycle on some Acme cougar who
drags me away from my cart...

Actually, I could keep the nice stuff I really like, and then give it away to the same relatives each year for xmas.
Now that would be a true Santa's friend...

 

[kevin37b]

No way . Like giving her the underwear .