givers and takers,how do i say NO

[JerryG]

From my experience, it is the lawn mowing type of tractor that mostly uses the actually clock. As you move into the Agriculture area of tractors, they mostly use the PTO based clock. There are always exceptions to everything and I am sure that we could name several here.
I didn't mean to take this thread off topic. It was only meant to let escavader know that there are different types of hour meters and that he might be better of using his watch.

 

[CT_Tree_Guy]

<font color="blue"> he might be better off using his watch. </font>

Amen to that, brother. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

 

[escavader]

Tried to talk to wifey,last night,didnt go well.I dont think she understands.'WELL THEY HELP YOU" Yes when building 20 years ago,they drove a couple nails,and that was about it.Ive repaid that day and 1/2 job 100 times over by now.I dont usually ask for help,i always strive for a job well done,and everything is just close enough,"you cant see it from my house"- mentality.Rather than be constantly irritated i do it alone,or get some of my friends help.SOUND LIKE A SNOB 'I KNOW YOU just gotta work with em. :grin
I just think my tractor is run from my pocket money and free,or just fuel money dont cut it,maintanance cost,more than i can get her to realize.She makes out that 20 dollars per hour is terrible,when i can run all day on fuel for that.She helps make the payments,mabey ill have to ask less.
ALAN

 

[JerryG]

As bad as it sounds, get to their place really late and then have to leave early. Maybe after a time or two, they will get the hint.

 

[escavader]

SENDERO,
Just a thought i had,when reading your post.I really dont think ill promote my conversations with you all on here.It would probably pi.. her off that i imply her relatives are dead beats.I dont think they are,but i avoid her family,because it seems they always want something from me.I enjoy tractor by net ,because i can get some of these things off my chest,andyou folks seem to understand,owning your own tractors ,and stuff.

 

[RonR]

Given the benefit of the doubt, your relatives might not know what it really costs to own & run equipment now. A heart to heart might be in order, such as "you know, costs are through the roof, and I'd need some better compensation to do all the work you are suggesting..........."

Then again, maybe not...............

ron

 

[MX5000]

Show up naked. Run the tractor for about 10 minutes, hop off and cop a squat on their front lawn. Leave them a nice present. After the awkward silence, I bet they don't need your help anymore...

 

[JoeR]

I have an idea. The next time your wife asks you to do a "honey do" project, tell her to call her family since they owe you a favor. Or, you can start a bunch of your own projects! Call for help, and when they don't show up, just point the facts out to your wife.

Maybe your wife doesn't have a good enough picture of what is happening. I would ask her to join you whenever you go to help your relatives. Have her help you load the tractor, tie it down, etc... Make sure she helps you change the oil and fluids next time too. In other words, maybe she should walk in your shoes for awhile. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[EddieWalker]

Escavador,

I feel your pain. My ex wife was completly blind to her side of the family. They were always asking for help and coming up with projects for me to do. It got so bad that they'd go shopping and call to see when I'd be free to do these things they'd see that they wanted at Home Depot or some other place.

He actually asked me how long it would take me to replace his gutters and put in downspouts!! He never asked if I had the time to do it or if I even would. He was worried it might rain and that it was something I had to do real quick.

Another time I got tricked into "helping" them install some low voltage lighting in their yard. We were there for Easter and he said he didn't understand how to install the low voltage lights and wondered if I could give him a hand. I was already there, so I said sure. He helped by bringing the box of lights out, than went inside. I started without him, but after an hour I realized he hadn't come back out. He was inside watching TV. So I sat down next to him until we left.

Nobody liked that, but I was pissed off. That was the last straw for me,not even my ex could defend him after that.

The one time we asked them for some help on painting the inside of the house, they were too busy. Turns out they went to the flea market shoping and then out to eat.

Dealing with a blind spot that people have for family is just about the most frustarting thing you can have happen. Everything they do is just so generous of them, and everything you do is never enough. Pointing this out just makes you out to be the bad guy and she will defend them even more. It's a lose-lose situation.

Since your wife is making part of the tractor payment, have you considered having her do the work??? Lots of people like to plan jobs for you, but none want to actually do it themselves. Listen to her reasons why she can't do it, and use them yourself. Don't fall into the trap that your better at it, or that you know how and she doesn't, because you had to learn someplace too. If she wants it done, than there's no reason she can't learn how to do it herself.

Good luck,
Eddie

 

[dooleysm]

What a mess. I feel very fortunate to have in-laws like I have. It seems like to me you really need to get things straightened out with your wife before you even begin to work the problems with your in-laws. If she's taking their side, you'll never, ever, ever, never, ever win. You just don't have a chance if she's undermining you. With her on your side, it'll be incredibly easy to say 'NO' to any more projects.

Best of luck to you.