?????? GROAN 2

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #251  
Why did the chicken cross the road?



TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

****** HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: To get away from the government worker wanting to help.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES (Monty Python style): And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, ...and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?

BBILL CLINTON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, butwill lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road...it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #252  
:D
 

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #255  
surge.jpg
Who's frying bacon?
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #256  
Uhh, is there a McDonalds in town?
ghr.jpg
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #257  
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #258  
A seventy-six-year-old man married a woman less than half his age and took her off on honeymoon to the Caribbean. When he returned home, his sister asked him how it had gone.
"Oh, it was wonderful," he said, "We made love almost every night."
"That's quite a feat at your age," said the sister.
"Yes," he continued. "Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday..."
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #259  
:p
 

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #260  
You get 2 for under a buck.
 
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