Neighbor is Not Happy With Me

[Wayne County Hose]

He told me that I was city folk that was trying to blend into the country life and that I had no idea what I was doing. This is from a guy that apparently despises livestock of any type and drives a BMW. I am not familiar with a hatred of livestock and love for BMW's being "country" attributes.

Eddie,

I have read many of your posts and truly respect and admire you. You would make a great neighbor. I don't think anyone (including me) is judging this neighbor by the car he drives, but by the words he has spoken. But let's look at this objectively. He speaks of "city folk" trying to blend into "country life" yet he is the one with the beemer. Maybe it's different out there, but here in the northeast, "country folk" just don't drive beemers. It doesn't mean anything mean or deragatory, it's just a fact. The only beemers around here are from "city folk." How many 4wd F-350's with a steel flat bed do you see in the city? Not many, unless it's a contractor. Around here, that's daily transportation.

We have the same problem around here, hence in my signature, "If they call it tourist season, how come we can't shoot them." People come up here from the city, move next to a dairy farm, then want it closed down because of the cow manure smell. Now mind you most of my dearest friends are from the city, but they are not like that. It's the bad ones that make a bad name for the good ones.

As far as being "arrogant and displeased" by his view being ruined, displeased I could see, but arrogant? I'm sure this neighbors house "ruined" someone elses "view" also. And, a "view" is not a right. If you have one, great. If someone buys a piece of property and puts up a house on it in your view, too bad. Deal with it.

 

[Podunkadunk]

I am building a new home in middle Tennessee and decided to go over an introduce myself to my new neighbors this past weekend. I did not get three words out of my mouth when my new neighbor proceeds to tell me how displeased he is with the siting and orientation of my new home. He is used to having an open field next to him and now there is a house there. He told me that the "country" thing to have done would have to included him in the decision making process on where to site my home. My options were very limited where I could locate my house because of the terrain and I was completely unaware that I should have asked my neighbor if it was o.k. to build a house in that location on my property. In the summer time, we cannot see each others houses because of the leaves on the trees. Now that it is winter, we can easily see each other. Keep in mind that these two houses are at least 750 feet apart. I admit that I am not a deeply rooted country man. I grew up in a very rural part of southern Maryland but have lived in Tampa, Florida for the past 15 years. Have I committed a country faux pas or is my neighbor just venting. I would really like to befriend the guy and his family but it is not looking good at this point. I have committed to planting 6 white pine trees to help further screen the houses which will help immensely in the winter.

In addition, I have three miniature donkeys that I will be keeping at the house. His reaction to that was just as negative. He told me that I was city folk that was trying to blend into the country life and that I had no idea what I was doing. This is from a guy that apparently despises livestock of any type and drives a BMW. I am not familiar with a hatred of livestock and love for BMW's being "country" attributes.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. The city part of me wants to tell the guy to go fly a kite and that I am going to do whatever I want to do regardless of what he thinks. But I am just not like that and would like to be a good neighbor and friend to this guy.

Thanks,
Mike

I hope I'm not the only one reading these post and hoping the comments are not mostly said in humor.

The neighbor with the BMW never did anything towards the original poster. He stayed on his land and did his own thing. There's no incication that he's tried to have the house stoped from being built, or that he's trying to stop him from having donkeys.

Eddie

Not true Eddie, the guy with the beemer was being negative and talking down to Mike (Haneyrm) regarding his house orientation, him not getting his advice on where to put his home and made it clear he didn't like the idea of him putting donkey's on the land. The guy is a jerk. Yes, Mike did go see him, on his land, but still...he could have been hospitable, which around here, is synonymous with "country".

Sure, nobody wants to lose their nice, open field view, but hey...he should have bought it or leased it.

Mike,
Drown the guy with kindness. Don't go out of your way to do it, but you'll draw more flies with honey than vinegar. It's a "hard row to hoe" so to speak, but you'll be the better man for it. Otherwise, if you guys have a "lifetime" of despise for each other, he may throw a handful of roofing nails on your driveway one day or something worse. Listen, I'm usually the first one to jump on the bandwagon AGAINST fumbling idiot neighbors, but you have to remember...he is your neighbor and you'll have to live with the consequences of your actions/words/looks for a long time to come. You WON'T be lucky enough for him to sell out...trust me. Besides, if you guys become friends, you'll have a good neighbor. Good neighbors are indispensable when it comes to helping out around a farm/homestead. You'll have someone to help put up fences, feed your animals when you are on vacation and keep an eye on your place. The benefits are endless, but on the other hand, if he's an enemy, you'll have to always keep an eye on him.

One final thought if all else fails:
Great fences make great neighbors!

Mike, enjoy your property.

Podunk

 

[dmccarty]

Seems like no matter where we live there are always problem neighbors...

My parents live in a gated golf community which I still find hard to believe that my dad would live in such a place. I guess they figured there would be less problems with the neighbors.

Nope. They have a neighbor that works a second shift and like to come home and talk on the pourch late at night which keeps my parents awake. Security won't do anything. Talking with the neighbor does not do anything.

Personally, I would be up at sunrise every morning running a chainsaw until the neighbor realized that two can play at this game and it would be mutually beneficial for us both to play nice and get some sleep... Since my parents are retired they can nap during the day....

I wont list the problems we have with one neighbor. Talking with them wont help.

We just smile and wave. The wife will wave back. The husband will turn his back on you. We just keep smiling and waving.

Its less stressful this way. Let 'em live in their own mess.

Later,
Dan

 

[MossRoad]

Also, I would not grovel, nor "act nice" trying to be a friend...(taking the high ground).

Taking the high ground is a military move... taking the high road is a moral move.

Try the high road, first.

 

[riptides]

.........
My other biggest problem is when people move in and start trying to change what happens around them. Example idiots moving next to an airport, shooting range, ORV area, farm, etc, and then whining/wanting restrictions because it's noisy, or smelly or something.

But change happens. Things don't stay the same forever, and many factors such as zoning and re-districting play a part in the change.

-Mike Z.

 

[tommu56]

Years ago we had a guy in our area that people were complaing about him wanting to expanig his buisness so the township woulden't give him the exemption to do it. He found that he was in an aggrecutral area and started a small pig operation (didnt need any permision) needless to say the guy got his exemption after the "stink" of the pig farm the few extra cars wernt an issue any more.

If you can start raising some pigs then he wont raise a "stink" about were your house is!!!
tom

 

[MarkV]

Around here the "country" saying is a good fence makes good neighbors. Although the pig farm is and interesting alternative if a fence does not work. No one can say that is not the "country" way of living.

You might want to consider some Leland Cypress as a tree barrier. They are fast growing, after the first year about 3 per year, nicely shaped and make a wonderful barrier.

MarkV

 

[stumpfield]

I hope I'm not the only one reading these post and hoping the comments are not mostly said in humor............

Eddie

Eddie's got a point here. I felt the same way. The neighbor has the right to his opinion and feelings regarding what's around him just has much as you have the right to build on your land. Remember, you come to him. He didn't knock on your door to tell you how much he dislike your home or try to stop you from building it... Country or not, it's just people. At least you got an honest neighbor. The best you can do is to minimize the impact by fencing and screen with trees. May be you can ask his opinion again to see what you will say....

I got the same problem many years ago but only it's in the city. Unfortunately, my city requires a public hearing when you apply for a building permit. One neighbor against it for the same reason. The only differience is he can play games and use delay tactics to slow down the permit process. After 2 years and spent tens of thousands on waste paper work, I gave up the fight and sold the land. Lesson learned.... Before I buy land to build and plan to live there, I always visit the neighbors 1st. Even that, there's no guarantee you will have good neighbors. That's one reason I chose to build in the middle of nowhere and and no neighbor within miles.

 

[the_sandman_454]

But change happens. Things don't stay the same forever, and many factors such as zoning and re-districting play a part in the change.

I agree some things are subject to change. Certain things, however, should not if they've been a certain way for a while. If you move next to an established race track, you should then not have the right to complain about it's operation, since you should have reasonably known it's there. Same with a shooting range, or other activities. It's up to the buyer to do his/her research and actually try to understand how things are in the area they're considering buying into.

I don't like when "cityfolk" try to move out into the country and then push for all the same laws and stupid restrictions they had in the city. Bottom line for me is "it's the country, get over it".

 

[AlanB]

I have a neighbor that refuses to speak to us. We bought the house he grew up in and there is some real bad blood between him and his mom for selling it.

It bothers me somewhat, but at the end of the day, I just go the other direction and have Wonderful neighbors, and that is where I focus my thoughts.

I wish it could have been better, and I am sure he and I would get along well, and I am probably the worse off not knowing him, but it is just beyond my control, so I wave, and leave it at that.

Maybe in some years it will change.

Before we bought, I did go to all the neighbors, because I would just rather avoid a fight if possible (we passed on several places where our landscaping business would cause hassles) I knew I was at the right place when I was speaking with my neighbor and I said that we would have tractors and equipment there, would that bother them.

His reply is that he sure hoped they were GREEN, them little blue ones may get run over (so far they are surviving)

Good luck, I would wave and smile and be sincere about it, but let him to himself. Hopefully it will get better over time.