Neighbors and favors.

[ultrarunner]

I've lost a few power tools... people simply do not remember.

Not much I can do about it except to stop loaning...

Seems everytime I loan out my trailer... it always comes back with something wrong...

I'm sure it is not intentional... none the less it is a problem!

 

[davesl708]

After seeing about 7 cords of nicely stacked / split wood in my sheds, one of my friends said "since you have so much wood, can I have some for the winter... I'd only need a few wheel barrels full". I said, "the next time I fell and buck a tree, why don't you come with me. We can cut it up and split it and each take half" - He never brought it up again.

I have had the same experience. I was clearing a lot of trees good for firewood and a guy down the road asked if he could get some firewood. I said yes. Stop by and when I cut the next set of trees I will cut them to the length you want and we can load up your trailer. He asked if I could just do it and drop it by. I have never seen this guy help any of the neighbors before so told him no I would not have time for that. He did not want the wood after that.

 

[Deere Dude]

After seeing about 7 cords of nicely stacked / split wood in my sheds, one of my friends said "since you have so much wood, can I have some for the winter... I'd only need a few wheel barrels full". I said, "the next time I fell and buck a tree, why don't you come with me. We can cut it up and split it and each take half" - He never brought it up again.

My BIL cuts trees with a friend for firewood because my BIL has the saws. His friend takes the first biggest piece then my BIL gets the next one. The third goes to the friends them the fourth goes to my BIL. Everyone seems to have an angle to best someone.

 

[otlski]

A few years back we had a surprise October heavy wet snowstorm; leaves were still on the trees and the end result was that my neighbors and I were without power for ten days. Both my kids lived here at the time and they had parked their cars 400 feet down the dirt road. After the snow stopped I took my tractor down the road to plow out their cars. A woman (new neighbor) trudged up to me all huddled up clutching a wrapped up six month old baby. She asked me if I would plow her driveway and would pay me. Her husband worked for the next town over driving a plow, and she had no idea when he would make it home. There was no way I would ever take money for that and told her I would gladly do it. She was very unhappy that I would not take money. After I finished plowing (and tearing up some of their yard no doubt), she came outside with a dozen eggs from their chickens. I knew I had to take them. So I drove back down the road gleefully carrying the dozen eggs. My wife made the greatest tasting bacon and eggs for dinner that night.

 

[Rustyferrious]

Here's how I look at it. If I needed something done, but didn't have the equipment or skills and a neighbor did, I would ask if they would like the job and fully expect to pay them for their time/materials. I would never ask someone to do something for me for free. If they declined payment afterwards, I would find a way to give them appropriate value any way I could, as quickly as I could. If a neighbor asked me to do a job for them, I would expect to get paid for it. Emergencies are different, you do what you need to do to save life, limb and property, but work is work and there is always a cost involved, even if it is as simple as taking you away from your family life. The price I charge may vary depending on history, difficulty and convenience, but any person that expect others to do them a "favor" for free is not a person I hold in high regard. I took the time and made the effort to learn the skills. My wife and I handle our finances responsibly so that we can afford the tools and equipment we own. We work hard for what we have and the life we live. Doing work for free is like "neighbor welfare" and is "need based". They need it but expect you to pay for it. That's just not morally acceptable. It often leads to resentment and requests for more and bigger "favors". There really is no benefit for the doer, only for the taker. I never want to encourage that kind of behavior. Enabling mooching doesn't help anyone. I guess it is an issue I feel strongly about.

 

[JohnMacca]

It sounds like neighbours are the same anywhere in the world.

You soon learn which ones deserve the respect and help you give them, and which ones to avoid. Its the old "what goes round, comes around".

Unfortunately it usually takes a bad experience to show you what they are like. I believe this old joke is pretty much true: "You know that friend you lent $50 and then never saw them again? It was probably money well spent".

 

[KubotaToy]

You soon learn which ones deserve the respect, "You know that friend you lent $50 and then never saw them again? It was probably money well spent".

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[Hiltz]

"You know that friend you lent $50 and then never saw them again? It was probably money well spent"


Im gonna steal that one from you.

 

[sixdogs]

That did in fact happen to me decades ago. Had a real pain in the backside friend that was always causing trouble. I don't loan money but one day he wanted to borrow $50 for something heartbreaking and it caught me off guard. It was a blessing because I never heard from again. Worth many times the $50.

 

[Hiltz]

A couple of summers ago a neighbor in law saw me out on my tractor bush hogging my field. He was in a mild panic from trying to dig post holes for a new deck with a rented one man gas powered auger. He wasn't getting anywhere in the hard clay and had only rented the machine for half a day and asked me if I had a auger for my tractor and could I drill his holes for him. He explained he was building a deck that his wife wanted and also have a nice outdoor area for his young kids to play. So being the good neighbor I swapped implements and made the short drive to his yard and drilled the 15 holes for his deck. He never mentioned any payment and I didn't think much about it figuring I just met a new neighbor so I let it go and wished him luck on building his new deck. I could hear the hammering and sawing all the next week and could just make out his finished deck later that week thru the bean field. Well the next week after that he had a for sale sign out in the front yard. Now I don't mind helping neighbors out. I just thought that was kind of low on his part. My dad use to say keep business business and I guess that applied here.