Neighbors and favors.

[davesl708]

Interesting stories.

Neighbors in need vs neighbors in want.

Bruce

Seems to be more and more in need.

 

[johnk]

When a neighbor asks me for help it all depends on the situation. Emergency things I don't expect anything, but for lending out a logsplitter or whatever I just tell them. I bought it so I could have it when I need it and don't lend my equipment out. I don't need the " I don't know what happened?' This is a country where many people are freeloaders or think they are entitled to have things they didn't earn.. JMOP. This way you know whom your friends really are!

 

[farm boy00]

Last 2 years I lived in the suburbs. Me neighbor was awesome and had a old horse farm. Let me put in a garden and store my tractor in a pasture.

He loved every bit of me living there. So did I loved enjoying it. I always tried to maintain his pastures and woods. Then plowed for him in the winter. He once tried to give me fuel money and would always threaten to throw the money in the air and let it fly away. Well when I took the fuel money it was aways in his mailbox that day for him. Nothing ever said. Still real good friends with him. He drove a half hour to just get to our farm to just visit. I hope to be able to plow for him but I ain't sure how that will work out

 

[NS Gearhead]

My neighbor and I get along great... although I find his constant need for everything to be 50/50 to be a little irritating. Dinner at my house, yours next. I drink your beer, you drink mine next. I bought your this whatever, that'll be $4.75, not $5!

Until recently things have been great... until he started using my atv to move wood around his lot. I was hesitant at first, but said what the heck, he's not gonna hurt it... but then I realize he hasn't put any gas in it. Two or three times in a row... hmmm. Then last week he wanted to rent a compactor, and could I go get it for him.... again, didn't really want to, but said yes to be nice. I said I'd fill it up before leaving, won't use it over the weekend, and I'll fill it up again when I return from bringing it back. That'll be how much it costs him. Ok, no prob he says. Well I got called in to work overtime that monday. I told him to take the truck to work (close to the rental place). That night I go get the truck, and notice the gas needle's under full. So I txt him and ask if he filled it. He said yeah; $13. Hmmm, ok. Doesn't sound right to me, but I haven't had the truck long... I told him it's not actually full and he said, ok I'll give ya $5. I said keep your $5, and thought to myself; don't you ever ask for my wheeler or truck again. He tried to say he'd pay whatever to avoid hurt feelings, but it's too late. We haven't talked to each other for a couple days which is rare.

Honestly the pump could have kicked out on him early, it happens to everyone. But for him not to look a the gauge is unlikely, and for him to say he'd give me $5 is an insult. I'm sure we'll get over it, but I'm not looking forward to the next time he asks... although he may not.

Try to be nice, and not get taken advantage of, and this is what I get.

 

[check]

My neighbor and I get along great... although I find his constant need for everything to be 50/50 to be a little irritating. Dinner at my house, yours next. I drink your beer, you drink mine next. I bought your this whatever, that'll be $4.75, not $5!

Until recently things have been great... until he started using my atv to move wood around his lot. I was hesitant at first, but said what the heck, he's not gonna hurt it... but then I realize he hasn't put any gas in it. Two or three times in a row... hmmm. Then last week he wanted to rent a compactor, and could I go get it for him.... again, didn't really want to, but said yes to be nice. I said I'd fill it up before leaving, won't use it over the weekend, and I'll fill it up again when I return from bringing it back. That'll be how much it costs him. Ok, no prob he says. Well I got called in to work overtime that monday. I told him to take the truck to work (close to the rental place). That night I go get the truck, and notice the gas needle's under full. So I txt him and ask if he filled it. He said yeah; $13. Hmmm, ok. Doesn't sound right to me, but I haven't had the truck long... I told him it's not actually full and he said, ok I'll give ya $5. I said keep your $5, and thought to myself; don't you ever ask for my wheeler or truck again. He tried to say he'd pay whatever to avoid hurt feelings, but it's too late. We haven't talked to each other for a couple days which is rare.

Honestly the pump could have kicked out on him early, it happens to everyone. But for him not to look a the gauge is unlikely, and for him to say he'd give me $5 is an insult. I'm sure we'll get over it, but I'm not looking forward to the next time he asks... although he may not.

Try to be nice, and not get taken advantage of, and this is what I get.

Gearhead, my advice would be to look at the value of the relationship versus the value of e.g. $5 minus $4.75, or the value of having your truck full as opposed to the gas needle being "under full". It's not as if he took the truck, emptied it, and it cost almost $200 to fill up (like my truck). And does your neighbour drain the gas tank in your ATV, or does he just use a little bit?

The way I was raised was to always give more than you get (within reason, of course). I have a very good friend who is always ready to help out at the cottage, and to "buy lunch" on the way up from town to the cottage, and I have to jump in front of him at Timmy's on the highway to pay when he comes up to help. We have this little unofficial ritual where each one offers to buy, and you have to be stubborn enough so the other guy quits offering. Somehow, it always seems to work out, but the important thing is to talk about it when things seem out of balance.

Hope this helps!

 

[NS Gearhead]

Yes, you're right that the friendship is worth far more then the couple bucks in gas... but it's not about the couple bucks.... it's about feeling like I'm lending him $30K worth of gear, and he should be MORE then happy to make sure they're full when he returns them.

Like I said, I won't mention it again unless he asks for the use of the machines and even then I'll just offer to use them for him if I have the time.

 

[fordmantpw]

...I'll just offer to use them for him if I have the time.

That is my solution to anyone asking for help. I don't loan my equipment out except to my parents. It's just too easy for something to go wrong, and it's an easy way to ruin a friendship. Plus, not everyone takes care of things like I do. My dad is the opposite. He loans anything to anyone, and I've seen several tools that he paid his hard-earned money for get broken and returned in pieces. He's too nice to say anything about it, but my mom never forgets.

My only 'neighbor' now is 80 years old and I offer to help every chance I can. Plan to till his garden under for him this weekend if the weather holds. Helped him pull some fence posts out of his garden with my tractor last weekend. I don't expect anything in return and just glad I can help out.

 

[check]

I agree. I have only lent my equipment out (my BX25) to one person, and only because his skills and sense of responsibility surpass even my own. It is easy to say no to lending equipment "for safety reasons", and so far people have recognized and respected my feelings about this rule.

 

[check]

Yes, you're right that the friendship is worth far more then the couple bucks in gas... but it's not about the couple bucks.... it's about feeling like I'm lending him $30K worth of gear, and he should be MORE then happy to make sure they're full when he returns them.

Like I said, I won't mention it again unless he asks for the use of the machines and even then I'll just offer to use them for him if I have the time.

Well, lending expensive equipment is not a good idea at the best of times, but if you do, just say "OK, but I want it full of gas when you return it." and don't sweat the small stuff, like an "almost but not quite full" tank. It comes across as picky, and just generates resentment. Like I said earlier, I always try to give more than I get.

 

[ultrarunner]

As a rule I go with my equipment and not having a truck big enough to transport my 110 gives me an easy out... when I had the Dozer people were always asking to use it... told them the only transport guy I use would charge $250 minimum each way and that was the end of that.

I have a 80 year old neighbor that is retired from ATT and worked his way up from lineman to managing the engineering section and to took the buyout with full benefits at 53...

Always working in his shop and if sees me out working will just show up with a tool or tools he thinks I might need... like when I was working on the Dozer, he shows up with big size wrench assortment...

Most say he is very reclusive... but we hit it off the first day when I moved in... he had a water leak and was off to buy some fittings which I happened to have.

I've always thought favors should be out of respect... and lucky for me I have had good people everywhere I have lived.