Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[ArlyA]

My in-laws are stuck on their stuff, they think they can handle life like they did 20/30 years ago. They do not see the ramification of their actions or decisions.

Elderly rarely see there own situation. While their heads were still good, we asked about making there home single level livable and that was a ridiculous and stupid idea. It could have been done and they have the money. Oh well.

 

[MossRoad]

Elderly rarely see there own situation. While their heads were still good, we asked about making there home single level livable and that was a ridiculous and stupid idea. It could have been done and they have the money. Oh well.

My mother in-law always turned down the offer to put her laundry on the 1st floor from the basement every time I offered. After her husband passed away, a light switch flicked on, and she said OK.

They had a closet that opened into the garage. Directly behind it was their spare bedroom/den. So I cut a doorway into the den and installed a stacked washer/dryer for her with a louvered bi-fold door. The door to the garage was already insulated. I suspect it was always put there for this purpose. So I just put a locking doorknob on it for her peace of mind.

She loves it!

 

[ultrarunner]

Congratulations on getting this resolved without permanently dividing the siblings! Money well spent.

Your advice has been spot on and much appreciated…

 

[ultrarunner]

We just want to help and don't expect anything. They are down towards San Diego.
She has told us she will handle it all and does not want us to help.
He will need to either leave rehab for somewhere, or some money will be needed to keep him in rehab.

I wonder how much culture factors?

I’m seeing similar all around and most likely because I’m at the age where a lot of my same age friends are in similar situations.

Some families rally and others disappear to the point the state takes over which I have seen first hand as a property manager…

One elderly Asian woman told me her culture growing up was to have many children and hopefully one or two will be there for you.

My Western friends have said have lots of money so as to be able to afford the lifestyle you want in old age as they are not depending on any family members.

 

[kenmbz]

My fathers GF is just a nasty drunk, I hope this is not a trend.

My Uncle on the other hand is asking for help and we are.

 

[MossRoad]

My fathers GF is just a nasty drunk, I hope this is not a trend.

My Uncle on the other hand is asking for help and we are.

You know, I've heard that a few times from my friends who have single fathers for whatever reason (divorce, death, etc.). They hook up with some woman that takes their heart and eventually everything else. It seems they are so lonely they'll take the abuse.

To be fair, I do know some that do have quite successful relationships, so I guess it might be equal to other ages. Just think an older person might have enough life experiences to see it coming.

I know after my mom passed, we encouraged my father to join a widow/widowers group. He was always a social type of guy. He said there were about 18 women in the group and just him and another guy. Let's just say his dance card was full!

 

[ultrarunner]

I know 2 retired military with new wives about the age of their kids...

One a widower and the other long divorced.

As far as the kids nothing was simple and with one the couple gave up trying to explain themselves and the other gradually came to terms...

I think the rules are changing and more to come...

 

[2manyrocks]

Heck of a lot of family instability going on. Know lady maybe in her 40s who just had another baby by baby daddy #4 if not #5. That's pretty complicated.

Used to be that some guys got tired of their wives around the time of their midlife crisis and you'd see them with a new sports car and a new wife/GF about half their age.

I think the trend on TBN is to keep existing spouse, but get new tractor.

 

[groundcover]

I always steer my friends that way telling them it's cheaper than a girlfriend !

 

[ultrarunner]

I always steer my friends that way telling them it's cheaper than a girlfriend !

No doubt nothing beats a good marriage but too many marriages seem to turn out the opposite...