Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[Oaktree]

All day travel is pretty far to go check on an elderly parent. Absent special medical needs, doctors can be replaced. What do parents want most, their friends or their children at this stage of their life?

Who knows? Everyone's family dynamics are different. My mother did an excellent job of driving my siblings and I away, to non-family members she was a completely different person. I cringe when I hear the phrase "treats you like family".

 

[ArlyA]

Who knows? Everyone's family dynamics are different. My mother did an excellent job of driving my siblings and I away, to non-family members she was a completely different person. I cringe when I hear the phrase "treats you like family".

Ya, you got that right. During this stay her dad says "the food is terrible, i don't get enough either". Turns out he doesn't tell the staff this. We did and tell them and they said, "we do have alternatives and and will increase his serving size"

 

[2manyrocks]

Some of the food I've seen at nursing homes looks like it is the cheapest stuff they can find.

With you being so far away, do you have a way of doing a video chat with them during the week?

 

[ArlyA]

Some of the food I've seen at nursing homes looks like it is the cheapest stuff they can find.

With you being so far away, do you have a way of doing a video chat with them during the week?

No, they both have dementia and not very capable. He can still text the 2 kids but it's commonly something mean.

 

[JasperFrank]

For some reason, I've become the archivist for both families, Dad's side and Mom's. Both sides are now all passed away. The only relatives I can think of to transfer this family heritage to, are my two, thirty year old+, nephews that have little interest in any of it. We are 3,200 miles apart. Its a strange feeling to see that when I pass, there will be no record or personal items left, cause my wife's family would have no interest in any of it either.

 

[ultrarunner]

I’m probably in a similar situation…

 

[ArlyA]

The spouse took her dad to a doc appointment she wanted to attend today. We also attended a family advocate meeting today which was very interesting. Will be heading home in the morning.

 

[Duds13]

I'm going through this now. Mom passed in September of 2022 and Dad just passed on July 10th. Plan is to divide up what the 5 siblings want to take, then maybe a garage sale. My brother and I brought up everything from the basement this weekend and put it in the garage until we get a dumpster delivered. Seems like these old timers sure didn't like to part ways with anything. The whole process just sucks though.

 

[ArlyA]

I'm going through this now. Mom passed in September of 2022 and Dad just passed on July 10th. Plan is to divide up what the 5 siblings want to take, then maybe a garage sale. My brother and I brought up everything from the basement this weekend and put it in the garage until we get a dumpster delivered. Seems like these old timers sure didn't like to part ways with anything. The whole process just sucks though.

Man, you got that right.

 

[ArlyA]

I little update, my father in law has reduced his mean texts to the two kids. Her mom's dementia has worsened and having much difficulty getting out bed.