Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[tradosaurus]

My MIL will most likely be moving to a retirement community this year. Almost all of her belongings that she doesn’t take with her will most likely be donated or trashed.

 

[WM75Guy]

I’ve done a lot over 40 years with my little 4x6 box trailer… use it just about every week… appliances, pallet of concrete, 1 yard of dirt/gravel.


Still have not reached a point with a block of time to do some trash out… probably start with old paint and solvents…

With some it takes the better part of a year outside with the lid off to solidify like some oil paints and then they qualify for regular disposal.

If and when I retire I will never run out of things needing to be done.

I lay out a plastic tarp on the ground in the sun and pour paint on it. I get free ones at Harbor Freight occasionally and keep them on the shelf. Leave the cans next to it with the lid off. After the cans and the tarp dries, they go into trash bags and to the dump. County dump or my trash pickup guy have no problems taking them that way, as they are then classified as non-hazardous solid waste.

 

[ultrarunner]

Sure would be quicker with tarp exposure... some of the cans are 30+ years old kept for color match formula but old formulas mean nothing today...

Me thinks I will have a lot for my heirs to tackle or not... a couple of calls and someone will take it all if too much trouble to deal with...

Not really any junk but not so many these days interested in shop tools, my lumber and metal rack, antique cars...

 

[California]

I lay out a plastic tarp on the ground in the sun and pour paint on it. After the cans and the tarp dries, they go into trash bags and to the dump.

I dried a few cans like that which were near hardened.

Reducing fire hazard and ground pollution from chemicals, was the first priority I tackled. The Household Hazardous Waste receiving point got to know me as I returned with pesticides that a local ag chem dealer wouldn't accept, gallons and gallons of mismatched yard sale deck stain, yard sale car antifreeze - new but decades old, MEK and other chemicals for stripping and refinishing furniture, yard sale latex and oil paints unused but weird colors, outhouse lime, I forget the rest.

Cases of outdated early-spec motor oil were given to Dad's friend who I had given the ancient Impala and Chev pickup to. That friend had done a huge amount of work helping Dad over the years.

As I noted above, I'm finally down to all usable stuff but more duplicates than I can ever use.
How many drawknives is a reasonable number to keep? I kept one straight and one curved one. I've used the straight one a couple of times, don't really expect to make wagon spokes etc with the curved one.

 

[Sigarms]

Mom had me doing donuts in the parking lots to learn how to control the car in skids and such. So I did the same with our kids.

Parking lot I get, the initial issue on my end was it wasn't in a parking lot LOL

 

[Sigarms]

Per this whole topic of dealing with loved ones stuff, THIS is the primary reason why my wife wants to downsize and have no clutter.

After moving my dad down with us and selling his house with all their "stuff" 8 hours away, my wife said no way she wants us to leave the same amount of "stuff".

Another reason why I loved the Realtor I got for my dad. He not only took care of the basic updates he recommended for the house (along with a boiler to replace the boiler that had a cracked heat exchanger and he did that at a price I wouldn't touch it for myself), he told us to take whatever we wanted from the house per furniture and stuff, and he would take care of anything else, which he did.

Reality is the most expensive things we have in our own home are computers and my guns. Pretty much all of our furniture is from a used furniture places.

We only have one boy now, 20 and not sure how long he'll stay in the Air Force or where he will move to, but the reality is when we get older, other than him, he's going to be the only family close by (perhaps, who knows at his age) that may be able to help us. There are a couple of family members we trust, but they are either a lot older than us and we'll be helping them or they live too far away.

 

[Sigarms]

After my brother in-law gave there dad a tour of the house they had vacated AND his car back, my spouse and him and only spoken once. He is helping you know!

I can assure you, we all have family like that.

My SIL who has our one car on loan for the last 10 months (when I "thought" the agreement was for 6 months) is looking at moving in with us. I'm all for the idea to help her out financially (long story) and have even suggested this idea to my wife, but apparently God is telling her it's the beginning of the end times, and she feels our house and land can be kind of like Noah's ark and my MIL can move in with us as well.

My MIL I actually like, and always consider her (and her husband who passed a couple of years ago no different than my own parents) and that was a variable we are looking at when we downsize with her living with us (my MIL NOT SIL LOL).

Keep reminding myself there but for the Grace of God go I.

 

[kenmbz]

My wife is still buying more holiday decorations. They are stored everywhere. Attic, garage, downstairs utility room, bedroom.
With my Dad and now my Uncle in the hospital, thinking about cleaning and disposal is stressful.
Of course they are both thousands of miles away, so can't just drive over with a trailer.

Hope it goes well for all of you, it's a chore and emotional.

 

[Engineer42]

My wife is still buying more holiday decorations.

I feel your pain.

 

[MossRoad]

Our holiday decorations are in a few dozen rubbbermaid tubs in the back garage.

Easy to access.
Easy to store.
Easy to buy.
More, more, more.