This has been a subject of great debate. I don't really have a set rule for when its in 2wd vs 4wd, but the vast majority of the time it is in 4wd. I personally think the Kubota bevel gear system makes it uniquely suitable to stay in 4wd without significant wear to the front system. As mentioned, turning is when you get the most stress, however, it is an open differential after all....its made to handle turning without damage and with minimal wear.
I can feel it when I try to turn in 4wd, but not much. After a previous discussion along these lines I tested several things on my tractor and on anything other than pavement there is no binding or even any feedback through the steering when turning in 4wd. Also, turning radius in 4wd is identical to 2wd. Damage to turf is usually worse in 4wd, but not always. As someone else mentioned here, in wet conditions if you turn sharply in 2wd the fronts tend to slide (a ribbed front might minimize this). This sliding does two things, 1) it tears up the grass as bad or worse than the fronts digging and 2) it makes the turning radius larger in 2wd than 4wd. I tested this too and was surprised to find it to be true. So sometimes with 4wd the turning radius and lawn wear are less.
I think a good rule is to do what you want with 2wd/4wd selection. I do not believe that keeping it in 4wd (when off road) adds any significant wear to your machine but keeping it in 2wd might reduce some wear. I do think that only putting it in 2wd when you get in trouble is a poor choice....at least it always has been when I do it. Bottom line, do what you want, your tractor can handle it.