theiving pig

Anonymous Poster · Mar 23, 2003

You’d think I’d learn. That at some point I would sigh and say, this is something I have no control over, and just let it happen. But I can’t! It’s not in me. I’m referring to our sow Hannah. I know she’s a pig, and they’re called pigs for a reason, but Hannah exemplifies every nasty thing anyone ever said about pigs. She’s greedy, she’s a glutton, she’s underhanded and sneaky and if that’s not enough, she’s a theif. Yes I said theif.

This pig is very well fed. She’s so fat she can barely walk, but that doesn’t stop her from acting like she’s starving to death. I’ve shown her statistics, trying to be gentle.

“Hannah, honey, you’re a blimp. You need to lay off.”

She just shrugs it off, and continues her nasty behavior. Hannah discovered several months ago that despite her girth she is able to wriggle her way under the fence from one pasture to the next. This is how she perpetrates her crime. She waits until I am not looking and strikes like a snake, nailing that extra loaf of bread or not quite empty bag of feed. Then the chase is on. I don’t want to try to count how many times I have chased her across the pasture screaming, threatening all kinds of retribution while she runs, and despite the fact that she’s fat and ungainly, manages to outrun me every time, all the while lugging a loaf of bread or feed bag.

She’s learned that she only needs to run so far before I give out and then it’s just a matter of finding the weak spot in the wrapper and the prize is hers. If anyone ever tells you that pigs aren’t intelligent animals, don’t believe them. She not only found her escape route, but she knows the precise moment my back will be turned, exactly which end of the feed wagon to snatch from as one end is higher than the other, just how far out of reach to be to avoid a well placed kick, has literally put me on my backside as I strike out with a booted foot, missing her my mere inches and landing on my rump, and she steps back gazing at me and I swear she's laughing. She knows exactly how fast I can run and how far. Plump, yes. Dumb, no.

Why haven’t I fixed the fence, some may ask. Why isn’t she contained where she can’t get out? There must be a way to prevent this daily routine. Well, I’m sure there is, and if I tried hard enough I’m sure I could find it. But, being just that hardheaded I know that one day she’ll slip up. She’ll misjudge the kick range, or drop that loaf of bread, or snag it on the side of the wagon, botching her getaway, and that’s when I’ll have her. It’s not about fixing it where it won’t happen. It’s about revenge, and I’m not above it. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Bird · Mar 23, 2003

Cindi, I'm curious about the pig going after a loaf of bread. Are you buying bread to feed the hogs? When I was a kid raising hogs, bakeries didn't have the "thrift" stores they have now, but they delivered fresh bread to the grocery stores every day, picked up anything that hadn't sold the day before, and brought it back to the bakery. So we bought that bread for 3 cents a loaf to feed the hogs. And the best part of that was that it was 3 cents per package; didn't matter whether the package was a loaf of white bread, whole wheat bread, cake, pie, or cinnamon rolls, and I personally, selected the packages. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif Since it was just "day old" stuff, we ate it, too. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif And rainy days were great! If it was raining too hard to work outside, and we'd eaten all the sweets I'd picked out, I'd get a loaf of that bread, and a pint of Mother's homemade jelly from the cellar, and go lay up in the hayloft and eat and listen to the rain on the metal roof. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

There was also a "creamery" in town that made real butter, and for awhile we got the buttermilk in 55 gallon barrels to feed the hogs along with the bread. I think they've found more profitable uses for buttermilk nowadays.

Anonymous Poster · Mar 23, 2003

I have tried to get the dairy products, to no avail but we bring home the trift store bread at ten dollars a standard pickup load, once to twice a week. Three loaves of bread replaces 2 lbs of comm'l feed. When honey is feeling ambitious he fills up the toolbox and rear seat as well. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

We don't have access to the sweet stuff but are getting some of the best 'designer' breads available. Nine grains, sweet hawaiin, mulitgrain, rye, pumpernickel, etc. The stuff that fetches the high prices in the grocery stores. About once every three months or so, the thirft store 'splits the wrappers' so that the bread cannot be resold. The rest of the time (when they forget) I do all my bread shopping right out of the back of the truck. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Inspector507 · Mar 23, 2003

When we were feeding close to 300 pigs, we'd get the bread from Pepperidge Farms. Day old stuff. Cost was 10 cents a loaf unless we cut the end labels off and returned them, then it was only a penny a loaf. And yes we ate good at dinner time too /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Mix the bread with ground corn and whoa boy those pigs were in heaven. Put good weight on them too, without them getting too fat.

Anonymous Poster · Mar 23, 2003

( Why haven’t I fixed the fence, some may ask. Why isn’t she contained where she can’t get out? There must be a way to prevent this daily routine . Well, I’m sure there is, and if I tried hard enough I’m sure I could find it. )

Here is the answer,
Put Hannah in the freezer and or the smoke house and sausage..

Anonymous Poster · Mar 23, 2003

You CAD! How dare you? Lol! No, the truth is, she is a very good brood sow. She's just got one of those personalities that keep the days interesting. It's all in good fun. She is one of the few sows I have that will farrow on pasture and not kill a single piglet.

Bird · Mar 23, 2003

( Mix the bread with ground corn )

Oh yes, had to feed some corn. We used a little bit of a "mash" (commercial feed) that you mixed with water, too. I have no idea what folks use in recent years, but when I was a kid, they said the corn added lean weight, but too much corn and not enough of the bread and/or mash make their coat look too rough for show hogs.

And for 5 years (until last year) my sister-in-law was going to town once a week to fill the back end of her Suzuki Sidekick with bread the thrift store was throwing out. She was putting out 8 to 10 loaves each afternoon around their patio for the squirrels, birds, and especially the racoons and when the lady who ran the thrift store found out what she was doing with the bread, she quit charging anything at all for it. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Incidentally, I only fed the bread to the hogs, chickens, and my horse when I was a kid. But a few years ago, I was talking to a cattle rancher neighbor who used to also raise a few hogs and he said he used to load his pickup with the day old bread at the biggest bakery in Dallas to feed the hogs, but then he bought 6 heifers and a bull and found that they liked the bread, too, so he was feeding it to them, and he said that was a big mistake. He said after a year and a half with no calves, he thought he must have a defective bull, but then talked to a vet and the vet told him the problem was feeding the heifers bread; something about the yeast preventing them from getting pregnant. He said he just took all 6 heifers to auction and got rid of them. Now that's the only time I've heard of a problem like that with cattle, so if anyone can confirm or refute that vet's diagnosis, I'd be interested in hearing about it.

Inspector507 · Mar 23, 2003

We had one little bugger that kept crawling under the fence. So we got the bright idea to stand pallets up against the fence until we could get 'em repaired. Ol Boy down the road still called and said "you're durned pig just tore up my garden again". Finally hid in the barn and watched the little bugger climb the nice "steps" we just laid out for him.

Anonymous Poster · Mar 24, 2003

Bird...I don't know about cows, as we only have one and his plumbing has been altered. The goats...I can't tell as how I've had any probelm there. I've had six new kids in the last six weeks and another new one just yesterday. Had no idea it was coming. I caught the nanny out there in the pasture between kid and AB and moved her to the hen yard. I was afraid the pigs would get wind of her and maybe cause trouble with her. They are all running together on about five acres now.