Tipping etiquette...what would you do?

[MikePA]

Asking for things the way you want it is mostly a waste of time at most restaurants.

Is it realistic to expect a server at Outback or Chilis to devote that much time to an individual order in the hope of getting a 20% tip on a $30 order, and in the process, ignore their other tables? And accusing the server of being lazy or uncaring is inappropriate.

If someone expects The Carlyle like service at Chilis, then they're doomed to perpetual disappointment.

 

[downsizingnow48]

Given how popular club sandwiches are, there is probably a guy who comes in at 4am and makes two or three dozen and puts them in the fridge. That is what ran through my mind when it happened with three different servers.

 

[wawajake]

Anyone that can post the equivalent of three pages of writing with pictures (post #77) must be a thrill to serve in any restaurant. High maintenance would be an understatement.

 

[rtimgray]

I guess I didn't realize how fortunate that I have been. The whole reason that I started this thread was basically an explanation and question of how to handle an anomaly, not a norm.

I am pretty picky about my food, and in many cases at restaurants, both quick service and casual dining, make special requests (almost always regarding "holding" a condiment or garnish). I would say in well over 90% of the time, I get my order correctly. The reason that this case is special is because I found it to be confounding exception to the rule, made more perplexing because it occurred at the same restaurant three times.

I don't think it is unreasonable to request changes to a given menu item - particularly at a "made to order" restaurant.

For what it's worth, the particular restaurant that I was at is, evidently, making a club sandwich incorrectly, at least according to Wikipedia: "A club sandwich, also called a clubhouse sandwich, is a sandwich of toasted bread, sliced cooked poultry, fried bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise." The club sandwich that I ordered, as described on the menu, has all of those things AND ham AND cheese. So, by definition, I'm already not eating a true "club sandwich", so I may as well just make additional changes to suit my tastes.

Again, I commend those of you that can and will eat anything and everything just as it arrives to the table, and I understand the comments along the lines of "just eat at home". I do lead my life, however, with other valued people that enjoy the treat of a restaurant meal, so I resign myself to dealing with the inconveniences that go along with it.

At this point, I feel that the restaurant has addressed my concerns to the best of their ability. I will update this thread with my results if I return to the restaurant within a reasonable time-frame (I don't wanna be accused of being a zombie-thread resurrectionist as well as a picky eater!!!

Good luck and take care.

 

[caver]

Late to the party here but one thing my former waitress friend told me is that if a place is real busy, It is appreciated if you tip more when you tie up a table for a long period of time. This only applies to places that are wiping table as soon as they become vacant so the next customer can have a seat.

 

[Redneck in training]

Bad service is always fault of management therefore you shouldn't stiff the waitress. Management either doesn't train them, hire wrong people and/or doesn't correct their behavior. I worked in restaurant business long enough to see how most places are run. Some guests are also hard to satisfy or are just plain mean low life. I used to work in a upscale private club. Interestingly so called old money were usually nice but somebody who got recently rich were pain in A. They acted like they own the world. They would change table several times, order food and then return it blaming the waiter for mistake and ordered something else and then paid meager tip.

 

[JimWalch]

Late to the party here but one thing my former waitress friend told me is that if a place is real busy, It is appreciated if you tip more when you tie up a table for a long period of time. This only applies to places that are wiping table as soon as they become vacant so the next customer can have a seat.

Hold the thrown rolls? (that should get some?s)

 

[Sodo]

I don't see how it works in Europe, where one group holds down a table for 3 or 4 hours (the entire evening). How can a restaurant possibly make any money over there? But there are LOTS of them. And no tipping.

Wonder sometimes about the economics of tipping. In my contracting days I would give a subcontractor an extra $100 or more if the job was done well. Not that much in the overall scheme of things but made them more likely to give a good bid and timely work next job. We didn't call it a tip, we called it spiffing.

Sounds like you have experience in this.

Tips can be good, and they can be bad and can be a waste (no effect). I've had employees who, upon giving them a raise, then simply conclude that they deserved MORE, and became unhappy. You have to pay people what their worth, or they get confused. Determining an employee's worth is a difficult task, I was never sure if I did it right. But always remember that if you introduce confusion; their satisfaction is going to be LESS. This is in general, it doesn't fit every employee.

On the server/kitchen relationship. Sometimes a server doesn't get along with the cook, and can't get your special needs taken care of. Cook knows how to "get" the server. Boss knows that with no cook; the revenue stops quick. So it's the server who has to take the hit. There are a lot of people who put their own petty concerns over the needs of the organization. I don't have or want the skills to run a restaurant, especially the team that you have to use. The staff turnover is an entire job in itself.

Incidentally, consider those who you are dining with. I get embarrassed when someone in my party takes a hard line with a server or cook when it's something they could easily deal with (or just firkin' EAT!). I'd probably choose to avoid the dining partner; not the restaurant.

 

[Redneck in training]

I don't see how it works in Europe, where one group holds down a table for 3 or 4 hours (the entire evening). How can a restaurant possibly make any money over there? But there are LOTS of them. And no tipping.

I Europe the tip is the round up cost of the meal to nearest higher Euro. The restaurant makes money because of the price of meal is about three time higher than equivalent meal in the USA. When we had people from Europe visiting in the USA they were embarrassed to pay so little for food even after 20% tip. Also in Europe waiting tables is a career not a desperate job (in better restaurants). In some European countries you go to school to be a professional waiter.

 

[Bird]

Also in Europe waiting tables is a career not a desperate job (in better restaurants). In some European countries you go to school to be a professional waiter.

I think that's also the case in some of the best restaurants in this country. When I was a police sergeant, we had a next door neighbor who was a waiter in one of the higher end restaurants in Dallas, and I've no doubt he was making more than I was.

And the absolute BEST waiter I've ever seen was in Agostino's in Chicago sometime in the late '70s. My boss and I ate there one night and were so impressed with the guy that we went back the next night with 2 other guys and we asked for the same waiter. He was a little man and we learned that he had been a waiter there for 50 years. Some of us smoked in those days and if we put a cigarette out in an ash tray, that ash tray disappeared and a clean one appeared in its place. He never "asked" if you'd like something else, but when you finished a dish, it disappeared and the next course was there, but you NEVER noticed him or had to move or avoid getting in his way. And ours was certainly not the only table he was taking care of. But instead of waiting on tables, he should have been TEACHING waiters. Of course we tipped accordingly and I'll bet others did, too, so I've no doubt he was making a very good salary.