Thanks to everyone for the discussion. I'm very new to tractors in the first person; I've never owned one or worked one. I got one because for what I was being quoted to do certain tasks around my place, I could buy a tractor and in the end own the tool. I apply that philosophy to most of the jobs I take on. I own a lot of tools now and have gained much knowledge on how to use them from boards such as this one, books and my own experience. I have a suspicion that many members of this board are cut from that same cloth.
The 3pt backhoe I have is from the tractor manufacturer. I figure if they built it to my tractor and it fails, then there's an argument that the fault is on their end of things and no fingerpointing between a hoe manufacturer and the tractor manufacturer. My work involves a very stone/rock infested soil. I got the backhoe mainly to dig holes for tree planting. We are recovering from a wildland fire and I have a lot of trees to replace. After digging holes for 27 15gallon potted trees in soil that mostly required digging with a 5 foot prybar because a shovel wouldn't even make a dent, my wife insisted I get a tool that can do the job before I kill myself. Of course, if I end up mashing myself hooking up the hoe to my tractor, I guess that point is defeated. ha!
I'm not trying to show cause for a 3PT being as good or better, I'm trying to sort out rumor from fact. So far, it's sounds to be pretty rare to have a 3PT backhoe damage a tractor. The only "fact" quoted was one fella saying he says so and therefore is fact. Ha!! Great humor there!!