Chris, This is something many folks gloss over. Unless all of your (or anyone's for that matter) DNA is of extraterrestrial origin then you are related fairly closely to a large percentage of the population and still pretty closely to the rest. This is of course, unless you don't believe current thinking on the development of human life on this planet, in which case you are still related but in denial.
That said cousin, I wonder whose turn is it to organize the family reunion, I know it isn't mine. Maybe we could supervise the pyrotecnics!
Actually, I read a statisticians paper on the "relatedness" of the population of the earth once apon a time (pre "7 Eves conjecture) and it made a good case for the most distantly related anyone living on the planet could possibly be from anyone elsecurrently alive on the planet and it was not so distant as you might guess, sans analysis. I don't recall the figure but it was something like 17th cousin or whatever.
Ahh yes, the gratuitous "on topic" comment: Given the thread name, what we need here is a joke. OK, the bigest joke I can think of just now is all the folks in denial about being closely related to all the folks to whom they don't like to think themselves related. Pretty funny actually unless you are killing and bombing each other on a regular basis like say the arabs and jews who are the same people claiming the same historical patriarchs.
Patrick (Please lurking preservers of the public morality, no flaming emails about the near east!)