waiting out the storm (virus)

[Oaktree]

I was looking at them a few years ago, the Taurus' I've seen seem to be pretty tough but don't hold their value well... the perfect car for somebody who is buying used.

Wife had an '02 Sable (same car) until a couple years ago. Leaked a little oil, but was otherwise trouble free. Like everything else here in northern New England it succumbed to rust.
Resale value means nothing to me...we always drive them right into the ground.

 

[ultrarunner]

Yep. Father-in-law has good and bad days. Yesterday my wife took groceries over. My daughter stayed in the garage looking in through the screen door. Grandpa kept insisting she come in and visit. She kept telling him there's a bad cold going around and didn't want to come in. He was bright and alert according to my wife. Other days mom can't get him out of his chair. We have noticed that he perks up really well after he eats. Have you noticed the same with your mom?

She is really focused on eating after thinking about church which is always on her mind... she still doesn't believe church is closed and instead thinks it's a lie in mild terms... her sister called and told her they also have no church...

We can have a full breakfast, wash and put up the dishes and twenty minutes later she is preparing breakfast because she is hungry...

What I notice most is the little cues no longer seem to work well... such as we just washed all the breakfast dishes and put them away... would be enough... now, not so much.

For safety... I have started turning off the circuit breakers to the stove... for my peace of mind.

Mom likes nothing better than to go for a walk... has been this way as long as I can remember.

 

[ultrarunner]

We always noticed the "sundowners" syndrome. Getting much worse when they become tired after dark. That is when her hallucinations would start. For instance seeing the reflection of the Television set in the front room windows and "seeing people" out in the yard. Or seeing a distant light from a neighbor and making up all kinds of scenarios of things she could see up there. All kinds of bad things seemed to happen after dark.

Oh my gosh... I can relate.

My hours from 4:30 am to 1 have been a blessing... this put me home at lunch.

Mornings are good... Mom gets up, gets ready and is spry and goes out to her garden and looks at the morning paper.

The reflection thing is real... so many times just before dusk I/we have to go outside because she insists a neighbor has left a car light on... but it is the reflection of the sun on the taillights.

After dark the reflection of the TV will send her off looking for those people...

Commercials are problematic... she will be enjoying a program and in the middle turn off the TV saying the show is over... only a commercial...

I can be working on something and have to stop to see whatever commercial happens to be on...

Anything with free or no cost is a hook... it must work because they have a lot of them during the day.

In some ways it is a blessing not to know what is going on... in others it is frustrating for the caregiver because life would be simpler if Mom understood why she isn't seeing the kids... I had to say the kids are sick so we can't visit.

All my life I have been around a lot of older and much older people... help many that were housebound or simply frail... but to almost every last one they were remarkably sharp... still doing their own taxes and such, paying bills, keeping a calendar.

The memory thing is totally new to me...

I'm blessed with great neighbors...

 

[ultrarunner]

Yep. My father-in-law has that. So did his mother-in-law. If they are out and away from home it's a lot more noticeable, because they start asking "When are we going home?" "Who's taking me home?" "Do you have my house keys?" "Do you know where I live?"

When he's at home, it's not so bad. But he does want the curtains closed as soon as it gets dark. And he does watch the TV in the large sliding glass door reflection for a while. I see his head turn from window to TV to window to TV. Once in a while he'll point at the reflection and say "That is that" as he turns towards the TV.

Yes, Yes, Yes... going home and drapes drawn tight.

 

[ultrarunner]

.

Boy, Howdy. I remember that very well. Have to get those curtains closed quickly after dark to keep the people from looking in. Apparently out there in our neighborhood there are a lot of folks just waiting to look in our house. Nearest neighbor is about 100 yards away. Several at around 200 to 250 yards away. In the summertime with the leaves on the trees, it is hard to see hardly any of the houses. There are deer running around in the yard at all hours of the day and night though.

Mom's home is on a bluff... no one is looking in from the living room which is in back... she has the most amazing view which is simply spectacular with city lights and the 5 bay area bridges... but she would rather look at tattered drapes than the view because someone could see in... it never was like this and most with similar don't even had drapes or curtains because the view is everything.

Nothing I like more than looking our from the easy chair and then as the sunsets everything is locked up tight... ;-(

 

[ovrszd]

Our Dr calls that Twilight Dementia.

 

[MossRoad]

Yep. The other day my wife took groceries over and she said her dad kept insisting someone was sitting in the car in the driveway. She figured it was the head rest. Anyhow, he kept going on about it, so she took him outside to show him. OK. Went back inside. "You sure there's no one sitting in that car?"

We just have to accept the fact that our loved ones brains have started to malfunction. Just be as kind as we can to them and hope someone will be kind to us if we ever get in that situation ourselves.

Good luck fellas. It's a trying time. As my wife says, dad is now like a 92 year old toddler in reverse. De-learning as he goes along. Hard to watch. Makes it easier taking care of him knowing he'd have done the same for us if he was able. Except for changing diapers....

Family story goes like this:

Wife's family went to visit relatives in CA. Women folk went out shopping, leaving dad and uncle to watch the kid (my wife). Couple hours go by and my wife (less than 2 years old) comes up to dad and uncle who are sitting on lawn chairs in back yard overlooking a vineyard drinking beers, and tells dad she has pooped in her diaper. Dad's worst nightmare has come true.

Women folk come home to find kid in back yard standing in a washtub while dad and uncle are spraying her down with the garden hose. :laughing:

 

[ultrarunner]

Maybe need to start charting it... phases of the moon etc.?

It is not always the same.

It certainly adds new dimensions to waiting out the storm.

We are heading out for a almost 2 mile (round trip) walk... 98% on family property from Moms home to my home and back on trails first cut by mom with the wheelbarrow and pick and later improved by Dozer by me.

I try to check on my house daily but not always possible...

My first thought was for Mom to move in with me... but my home is not senior safe... there are 3 steps up to the family room and 3 more to dining room... built in conformance with local building code to follow the terrain.

Twice she has missed the steps and went head over heals tumbling to the hard floor and both times I saw it and it was the most frightened I have ever been thinking broken hip... but both times she just dusted herself off...

When it became clear she could not be home alone at night I started sleeping in my childhood home... and now basically live here... wonder what to put down on the census???

I go to my home to water, check the mail, etc... and that is it.

Family opinion... find a placement for her where some of her friends are (Few now)

Doctors at work said I dodged a bullet... all the ones under consideration are on full lock down... plus at 10K minimum a month it just isn't sustainable...

So we wait out the storm one day at a time... beautiful day for a walk!

 

[MossRoad]

:thumbsup:

 

[Hay Dude]

My MIL that lives with us for years literally goes nuts with twilight and full moons.
I hope somebody puts me out of my misery if I ever get that way.