waiting out the storm (virus)

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   / waiting out the storm (virus) #291  
Would love to. We've been told to stay away by mom, hospice, the VA, etc...

We have been able to get their groceries. Their lawn and snow are taken care of. Mom is able bodied enough to keep the house clean, cook, shop (can't go out now), get dad bathed, dressed, fed, cleaned up, etc.... We used to go over every Tuesday and make them dinner. They'd come to our house every Saturday evening for dinner or desert. My wife would take mom to shows while I sat with dad. Sister-in-law would come over once in a while. Son-in-law not so much, but could be asked to do things. But we've all been told to stay away. Mom is on anti-rejection meds for liver transplant (13 years ago). Dad is weak, but can still get up and walk around in the house, to the bathroom, get dressed, etc... I've seen him reach down and grab stuff off the floor. But his dementia is the main problem. He has no idea what time it is. If he ate or not. Sometimes he's fine and others he thinks his wife is his sister or his daughter or his mother. Sometimes he eats fine. Sometimes he picks up his fork and asks "What am I supposed to do with this?" So we show him, and slowly it comes back and he eats a good meal. Just takes a long time.

Hospice got involved a couple months ago when dad got pneumonia. They came to the house and evaluated the situation and mom's ability to deal with things. They'd come to the house twice a week to check dad's health, give him a bath, and talk with mom. The VA would come in and sit with him while mom went to the store, help her clean the house if she wanted. Provide adult diapers for dad. Just about anything she needed. That was really helping her cope with stuff.

However, since this virus started, about 2 weeks ago, Hospice and the VA said they'd better not come over as often since they also take care of so many other people. They don't want to risk it. Told us to stay away if at all possible.

So, we call her every day. My wife takes groceries twice a week. She calls us 2-3 times a day to talk. But she has to deal with dad getting up at 2-3am and singing Battle Hymn of the Republic, Amazing Grace, and some strange little song he used to sing when he was drunk 30 years ago. Swings his arms around like he's conducting an orchestra. Won't go back to sleep. If he doesn't stop, she goes and sleeps in the other room. We asked her to just do that anyway, but she said she would rather sleep next to him to keep an eye on him.

Anyhow, it's just very trying for her. She doesn't want him to go to a nursing home yet. But we will encourage it if her health starts to suffer.

I can relate but the curious thing is some days or hours are better than others... yesterday was bad all around... but today is a new day.

Just when you think you are at the end of your rope something positive happens.

Today Mom is 86 and I was able to make a small cake and had some ice cream in the freezer... we had our own celebration sans family... she was really happy and thoroughly enjoyed it and for the first time in a very long time she slept through the night... so I got a full 6.5 hours uninterrupted sleep which was like heaven...

Things are winding down in my medical unit... supplies being positioned for the ER at our sister hospital/regional trauma center and we are down to critical cases only when deemed better suited to keep the patient out of the main hospital... this frees up a little more time to spend with Mom which is good since all the support services I was paying for have stopped...

Also saving multiples of the $20 an hour I was paying so that is a plus.
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #292  
I drive one of those. No sights on it. No lasers, just regular headlights.

I have the X version of that vehicle (2008 Taurus X AWD), it's been a good car.

Aaron Z

I was looking at them a few years ago, the Taurus' I've seen seem to be pretty tough but don't hold their value well... the perfect car for somebody who is buying used.
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #293  
I spotted a '95 SE in a dark/gunmetal grey with the special wheels and disco ball headlights with a for sale sign on it back '05 or so. Shudda jumped on it, but I wasn't in the market right then.
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #294  
I drove a 2004 Taurus company car for some time. it was a So-So car at best. I wasn't impressed with it but it was "ok". The good news was the company provided it, fueled it, maintained it and insured it. That was the good part. :)
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #295  
I was looking at them a few years ago, the Taurus' I've seen seem to be pretty tough but don't hold their value well... the perfect car for somebody who is buying used.
I paid under $1500 for mine...

Aaron Z
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #296  
I paid 4500 for my GL wagon in '03. It's still running but has given me quite a few headaches and has stranded me a few times. Weird problems like broken fuel line clamps and a bad body computer
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #297  
I can relate but the curious thing is some days or hours are better than others... yesterday was bad all around... but today is a new day.

Just when you think you are at the end of your rope something positive happens.

Today Mom is 86 and I was able to make a small cake and had some ice cream in the freezer... we had our own celebration sans family... she was really happy and thoroughly enjoyed it and for the first time in a very long time she slept through the night... so I got a full 6.5 hours uninterrupted sleep which was like heaven...

Things are winding down in my medical unit... supplies being positioned for the ER at our sister hospital/regional trauma center and we are down to critical cases only when deemed better suited to keep the patient out of the main hospital... this frees up a little more time to spend with Mom which is good since all the support services I was paying for have stopped...

Also saving multiples of the $20 an hour I was paying so that is a plus.

Yep. Father-in-law has good and bad days. Yesterday my wife took groceries over. My daughter stayed in the garage looking in through the screen door. Grandpa kept insisting she come in and visit. She kept telling him there's a bad cold going around and didn't want to come in. He was bright and alert according to my wife. Other days mom can't get him out of his chair. We have noticed that he perks up really well after he eats. Have you noticed the same with your mom?
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #298  
We always noticed the "sundowners" syndrome. Getting much worse when they become tired after dark. That is when her hallucinations would start. For instance seeing the reflection of the Television set in the front room windows and "seeing people" out in the yard. Or seeing a distant light from a neighbor and making up all kinds of scenarios of things she could see up there. All kinds of bad things seemed to happen after dark.
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #299  
We always noticed the "sundowners" syndrome. Getting much worse when they become tired after dark. That is when her hallucinations would start. For instance seeing the reflection of the Television set in the front room windows and "seeing people" out in the yard. Or seeing a distant light from a neighbor and making up all kinds of scenarios of things she could see up there. All kinds of bad things seemed to happen after dark.

Yep. My father-in-law has that. So did his mother-in-law. If they are out and away from home it's a lot more noticeable, because they start asking "When are we going home?" "Who's taking me home?" "Do you have my house keys?" "Do you know where I live?"

When he's at home, it's not so bad. But he does want the curtains closed as soon as it gets dark. And he does watch the TV in the large sliding glass door reflection for a while. I see his head turn from window to TV to window to TV. Once in a while he'll point at the reflection and say "That is that" as he turns towards the TV.
 
   / waiting out the storm (virus) #300  
But he does want the curtains closed as soon as it gets dark
.

Boy, Howdy. I remember that very well. Have to get those curtains closed quickly after dark to keep the people from looking in. Apparently out there in our neighborhood there are a lot of folks just waiting to look in our house. Nearest neighbor is about 100 yards away. Several at around 200 to 250 yards away. In the summertime with the leaves on the trees, it is hard to see hardly any of the houses. There are deer running around in the yard at all hours of the day and night though. :)
 
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